Scared to death

Well it just gets closer and closer . and I have always had this scared feeling in the back of my mind , but I try to stay possitive. Then my husband tells me today that he talked to someone yesterday whos sister had surgury with Dr. H and four weeks after he buried her cause of some bowel issue? I feel like I have been drinking these shakes for no reason , I feel like I have gained weight But do not know have not weighed . I just do not know what to think , because I want the surgury cause I want to be healthy and I want to be able to do things with my boys . But I just sit here scared to death that I am gonna leave, to leave them with there father and then who is going to take care of them if I am not here ??? The more that I sit here and think about it the more scared I get and the more I cry !!! Mindy

 Make sure you know all the facts before you believe the worst. Dr H is a great doctor. I will  tell you that any surgery can be dangerous and things do happen but the odds are against it. If you follow all the doctors directions and are honest about all your health issues your chances are great. There could have been much more to the story your husband heard. I do know super morbidly obese people have a higher rate of complications and if you talk to enough people there will be stories. You do not know what the health of the woman was prior to surgery. Try to think about how much better your life is going to be. I feel better than I have in twenty years.

Mindy,

Just wanted to say that I agree with what Suzy said.  There were probably under-laying health conditions that other woman had that increased her risk of having surgery.  There is a risk with ANY type of surgery.  Dr. H performed my RNY 3/7/05.  I weighed 279lbs and had high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, etc.  I have lost 100 lbs and no longer suffer with any of those conditions.  However, I do still take lipitor because high cholesterol runs in our family and unfortunately all those years I was heavy took a toll on my arteries and I have some plaque built up.  The lipitor is to prevent any further build up.

I know it's a hard decision.  I did a lot of homework, asked a lot of questions and PRAYED a lot before deciding to have the surgery.  Honestly, I feel like Dr. H was sent to me by God Himself!  I live in the KC area but for various reasons ended up going to Dr. H.  He has taken such good care of me and I am so thankful for him.
FYI, ALL of my specialists whi*****ludes my cardiologist, urologist, gyn, sleep doctor, my infectious disease doctor (I have CFS and Chronic Lyme Disease) say that deciding to have the gastric bypass was the BEST thing I could have done for my health! 

Undoubtedly, your husband is afraid to lose you.  Just remember that you could die from the complications of your weight.  That was what motivated me.  Also, as far as I'm concerned, there are worse things than death for a born again believer....like having a heart attack or stroke and ending up paralyzed and in a nursing home the rest of my life.  Sorry but that is exactly what I thought.

I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to come on the board and express your feelings.  I'll be praying for you.  Ultimately, the decision is yours.

Debbie D.

First of all you are not alone.  I was so scared that I wrote goodbye letters to everyone of my family members.  The cir****tances with that women who died may not have been Dr. H fault.  We don't know all the details.  Usually when something like that happens it was a pre-existing problem.  Before my surgery I prayed that God would take over.  I needed to not think anymore, I just let go and let God.  It is out of your hands!  I had the surgery and I have had no complications at all in five years.  I haven't even puked once, not once!  You will feel so much better after this surgery, the possibilities are endless!  You can do this, have faith and tell your husband that you don't need to hear anymore stories.  God bless you, Penni

Thank you so much!!

Quit worrying, think positive and don't listen to any more horror stories.  There is always someone that knows someone that had bad results. 

I agree with all those who have already commented.  My surgery was 2 years ago and I'm so glad I had it.  My life really is so much better.  No more high BP or acid reflux.  The only med I take is Synthroid.

Keep the positive feeling. If you don't want to be healthy more than anything in the world, maybe you shouldn't have the surgery because it is a lifetime commitment. Dr. Hornbostel is the best there is so you are in very good hands but there are always the people who want to bring you down and your husband does not know all the details about this person's prior health history. Of course he is frightened for you but you are much more likely to die from obesity than from surgery and even folks who have had some problems are glad they had the surgery once they get back on their feet. Any surgery is a risk and future problems will be so much less if you aren't carrying all the extra weight. Don't let one person kill your joy - do what YOU want to do for yourself and your family.
Hugs and tough love,
Lana