Backing out of surgery Monday
I am so afraid to have surgery on Monday. This is the second post this week that I have read that some one died from surgery. The 1st one lady pasted a month later than the other was angie. I am afraid that some thing will happen to me..At this point I just may not show up Monday for the surgery. I just don't know what to do. I know that there is a chance something could happen. But I was told it was very very small. I don't know if I am willing to take the chance.
I understand your concern and remember how scared I was when I had my surgery. But please think this through completely. And if you are still not ready at least call your surgeon's office and leave a message with the answering service. I don't know what time your surgery is scheduled but at least give your surgeon that courtesy. Please don't just not show up. There may come a time when you are ready and not showing up will be noted on your chart. In the employment world that would be called 'burning your own bridges'. And it has been known to really bite you in the rear later on down the road. Your surgeon may have some words of wisdom and comfort that makes you reconsider. They will at least appreciate your honesty in letting them know why you will not be there.
But like I said think this through completely and keep in mind how many hundreds have surgery daily and everything goes fine. This is however a surgery you should not have until you are completely ready as it is such a life changing surgery. Also keep in mind the fact that so many people die daily of obesity and this surgery can give you the quality of life you so deserve.
It is not easy I know but something only you can decide for yourself.
God's blessings sent your way no matter what you decide,
Connie B.
But like I said think this through completely and keep in mind how many hundreds have surgery daily and everything goes fine. This is however a surgery you should not have until you are completely ready as it is such a life changing surgery. Also keep in mind the fact that so many people die daily of obesity and this surgery can give you the quality of life you so deserve.
It is not easy I know but something only you can decide for yourself.
God's blessings sent your way no matter what you decide,
Connie B.
KIm i agree with evreything that Connie had to say. It is something you have to decide for yourself , I thought of it this way , that as a Christian it was a win-win situation for me....if i died i would go to heaven and have a new body....if i lived i would wake up and have the start of a new body.
Just make sure it is what you really want to do it. I have been on here for 4 years and in that 4 years i have seen hundreds and hundreds of people go into surgery most never have any trouble at all ...but yes you are right there is that risk as with any surgery....noting worth having is without risks. it depends on how sick you are now and if you have something that just gets worse and worse(like diabetis) life expectancy with some of these illiness that people have before surgery is very short...so as Connie says it is your choice but if you decide to not have the surgery please call your doctor and the hospital and cancel ...but think about it a long long time....we are here for you to talk this out with if you want to. i will be praying for you to make your decision and to be calm about what ever you choose....
Just make sure it is what you really want to do it. I have been on here for 4 years and in that 4 years i have seen hundreds and hundreds of people go into surgery most never have any trouble at all ...but yes you are right there is that risk as with any surgery....noting worth having is without risks. it depends on how sick you are now and if you have something that just gets worse and worse(like diabetis) life expectancy with some of these illiness that people have before surgery is very short...so as Connie says it is your choice but if you decide to not have the surgery please call your doctor and the hospital and cancel ...but think about it a long long time....we are here for you to talk this out with if you want to. i will be praying for you to make your decision and to be calm about what ever you choose....
http://community.webshots.com/user/mimicook?vhost=community
GOD BLESS YOU TODAY
JAN COOK
Sweety,
I felt compelled to share my story with you. 3 days before my surgery 3 yrs ago-I got a call that one of our members had passed away-and I had your thoughts initially too.....Its scary enough thinking about the complications without someone we know of, or know personally passing away from the surgery, or ANY surgery really. I can only tell you this helped ME...
I had to keep thinking that EVERY situation IS different! BUT.....Here are 2 things that I kept telling myself over and over!
1. If God brings you to it, he WILL bring you through it. HE WILL...no matter the outcome-its HIS will.....
2. IF I died on the operating table, then I would have died that day, no matter what I was doing. Whether it be walking to the mailbox, driving to the store-OR having surgery. I personally believe that God knows when your born when your going to be an angel in heaven.
I have my own surgery coming up on Tues, and I too found myself having those thoughts again-about postponing it-didnt want the risks-even though I know for MY health, I have to do it. SOOOO..... I am going back to remembering the same things that got me through last time and referring back to those 2 sayings.
Sweety, IF you are not comfortable with the decision, then, by all means, reschedule....BUT...Just remember that everyone is different and her situation isnt yours. There are going to be risks no matter what surgery you have and I personally believe it was her time. I dont like it AT ALL.....I thought/think she is a truly remarkable woman and I loved her......
I will be praying you make the best decision for you, and that you have peace of mind in whatever that decision happens to be. Love, Janet
I felt compelled to share my story with you. 3 days before my surgery 3 yrs ago-I got a call that one of our members had passed away-and I had your thoughts initially too.....Its scary enough thinking about the complications without someone we know of, or know personally passing away from the surgery, or ANY surgery really. I can only tell you this helped ME...
I had to keep thinking that EVERY situation IS different! BUT.....Here are 2 things that I kept telling myself over and over!
1. If God brings you to it, he WILL bring you through it. HE WILL...no matter the outcome-its HIS will.....
2. IF I died on the operating table, then I would have died that day, no matter what I was doing. Whether it be walking to the mailbox, driving to the store-OR having surgery. I personally believe that God knows when your born when your going to be an angel in heaven.
I have my own surgery coming up on Tues, and I too found myself having those thoughts again-about postponing it-didnt want the risks-even though I know for MY health, I have to do it. SOOOO..... I am going back to remembering the same things that got me through last time and referring back to those 2 sayings.
Sweety, IF you are not comfortable with the decision, then, by all means, reschedule....BUT...Just remember that everyone is different and her situation isnt yours. There are going to be risks no matter what surgery you have and I personally believe it was her time. I dont like it AT ALL.....I thought/think she is a truly remarkable woman and I loved her......
I will be praying you make the best decision for you, and that you have peace of mind in whatever that decision happens to be. Love, Janet
Hi want2luv2bme,
This post really helped me. I was also talking to a friend that told me the same thing you said.If something was going to happen to me it would happen no matter where I am. She asked me how many people have I heard of passing in car crash. I said alot. She asked my why was I still driving. She said she just want me to understand that people die for different reason everyday. Just doing day to day things. But I have kept drving, tryin diet pills at times, and going to dentist. She said that our life is already planned and there is nothing I can do to change it.
She also said that I need to know that God knows what best. Thanks so much with sharing your story with me it helped.
This post really helped me. I was also talking to a friend that told me the same thing you said.If something was going to happen to me it would happen no matter where I am. She asked me how many people have I heard of passing in car crash. I said alot. She asked my why was I still driving. She said she just want me to understand that people die for different reason everyday. Just doing day to day things. But I have kept drving, tryin diet pills at times, and going to dentist. She said that our life is already planned and there is nothing I can do to change it.
She also said that I need to know that God knows what best. Thanks so much with sharing your story with me it helped.
Dearest Kim,
I cried when I read your post to me. I have been writing a book about my journey and the things that I went through, in hopes that it will help people-because of how alone I felt pre-op. I weighed almost 450# preop, and got up to almost 500# when I was pregnant with my now almost 7 yr old. I also have 4 kids. To know that something I said helped you (this far out, lol) means a lot to me. It made my day! Your soooo very welcome!
Kim, let me tell you-I was scared crapless that something would happen that my children wouldnt have a mom for the rest of their growing up yrs and my little guy was almost 4 when I had my surgery and I worried about him the most.....BUT.....my oldest (who is now 24, married and has given me a grand-daughter) I was very active in her classroom activities-I was home room mother, I was a brownie scout leader, I did it all. I was abt 350# then, but I always mustered up the courage and energy somehow of doing her parties at school and such. Well, when she was in 5th grade, my 2nd daughter started K, and I signed up to do the same things for her-however-I went to do the Christmas party, walked into her classroom and there was about 5 kids who had her in the corner of the classroom, telling her how fat her mom was, mooing at her and she was so mad! She was yelling for them to stop and sticking up for me, with big crocodile tears rolling down her face. It is instinct for kids to protect their mommas no matter what! I was DEVASTATED! After that, I started talking to Megan (the 5th grader) and she reluctantly admitted that kids always made fun of her too, but she didnt care-she wanted me to keep doing her parties. I just couldnt. I never went back to the school again where the kids could "see me closely". I attended only a couple of plays or choir concerts. It was just too painful to me, to know that MY kids were going to be picked on because of me! So, when my oldest son came to live with us when he was in K, (he is my stepson, but I dont call him that) I never did ANY of his parties. He is now in 10th grade. I missed it all with him!!! SOOOOO....when I had this late in life baby-and I was waiting for this surgery (I, like you had to wait for almost 2 yrs and went through 4 physical denials****pt thinking of how neat it would be to enter his classroom, be a home room mom and for him not to be teased! (my kids even got teased on the bus because the kids on the bus saw me by the mailbox one day when the kids were getting picked up-so they were teased every day on the bus about how fat their momma was!).......
Just this yr my little guy started public school (he was home schooled last yr, due to him having a severe speech impairment and could NOT be understood) anyhow, roughly 2 months ago, they had their open house and the following week I went to lunch with him-and know what? Not only did NO ONE, NOT ONE kid make fun of me-they treated me like a superstar! I really didnt have much time with Jon because all of the kids in his class were swarmed around me, asking me to eat with them and talking etc....As I left the school, the front door shut behind me and the tears just flowed! After 3 yrs, you have done almost all the HUGE WOW moments-but for me, that ONE WOW that day-wouldve made it all worth it again! When Jon got home that night, I asked if anyone made fun of me, and he looked confused....said no, and the tears flowed again! Kim-its the MOST AWESOME feeling not to be treated like some freak circus clown, you know?
Again, from experience, I can tell you-that it KILLED ME to not be able to attend certain functions at school because I physically couldnt fit in certain seats in the auditorium, couldnt do some of the volunteering for field trips because I was so fat I couldnt get between the seats of the bus IF I rode the bus...even sideways I had to really struggle and one time when I drove behind the bus, when we got to the Springfield conservation center and went to hike a trail, I thought I was going to die. Sweat dripping off me and I couldnt catch my breath-and it was sooo loud-and they were concerned I was having a heart attack and almost called out the paramedics. I wanted to just crawl in a hole and not come out! Man was that humiliating! Of course, we also didnt do any zoos, amusement parks, things kids love-and all because of me.!!
Kim-I am almost 3 yrs out and now-I have gone to two graduations-my oldest from college, my 2nd oldest from high school. I have gone to amusement parks, zoos, rode the buses with them, done hay rides, fished, camped, hunted, ALL school activities, all sports activities, all choir concerts, walking the mall, shopping with girls-lol....BUT, one of my favorite things, is that there are now pictures of me with my kids-all the time! I have so many pics now, its unbelievable! I can actually document special events in our life, WITH ME IN THE PICS OR ON THE VIDEOS! ITS SOOOOOO AWESOME! There arent very many pics of me pre-op. I forbid it-and I hated it. It had to be a head shot. No full body. Oh, I just wanted to cry when someone took a pic of me! Now, I love having my pics taken with my fabulous kids! I love the fact when my new grand daughter was born, I was holding her telling everyone-get this picture! LOL.....the feelings are unbelievable. PLUS....WHEN we do all go to the store together-I blend in. Everyone isnt staring at me and my c cart because I was too fat to walk the store. More than 5 minutes and I was hurting so much.....Now I walk in, no one stares and no carts! I blend in. I Love it!
We went to the Grand Canyon and walked Miles and miles-took 100s of pics, we went and rode bumper boats, go-karts, I rode in a real boat....a canoe....things that were NEVER possible before and my boys, who are the only ones still living at home-have told me that they are having the most fun with me!
Im NOT trying to sway you-I am just telling you that I had severe anxiety before surgery. I cried in the operating room before they put me out. I thought I was going to back out myself, but the experience the past 3 yrs, have been living life. I AM FINALLY LIVING LIFE!
MY ONLY REGRET: NOT DOING IT 20 YEARS AGO! I missed so much with my oldest 3, and I feel soooo guilty about that. I just didnt know it was ever a possibility for me and I didnt think that I could ever be a candidate for this surgery!
My quality of life is awesome, it was worth every thing! I can honestly say for me, and several others I know-the surgery was actually the easiest part of the journey, lol......its the other stuff-eating and emotional etc that affected me most. I have angeled over 20 women and they all had the same issues!
I feel like when I read your posts, you want this so badly, youve been obviously fighting for it since 2007 and you FINALLY got to this place-and its a lot of hoops to jump through-your just having the pre-op feelings that MOST of us have and so when this type of thing happens, right before our surgeries, it scares the crap out of us and because we are already worried about that in the back of our head-the reality that something can happens just slaps us in the face! I sincerely believe what I wrote about our time....no matter how unfortunate-I can tell you, without a doubt-your NOT living the life you WANT right now for your 4 kids anyway-right? This surgery WILL give you that life you have always dreamed of having WITH your kids, hubby and yourself! You dont need a counselor for that.......it will be so awesome, you wont understand WHY you got so freaked out, when its all said and done, lol.....
PLEASE feel free to email me directly IF you want/need to talk..... my email is [email protected] and in the subject line, put your name so I will open it-or it will be lost in the spam box....lol...at that point, I can send you my phone number, ok? Do you have an angel yet?
Well......this has turned out to be WAY WAY longer than I intended and im sooo very sorry for that. I just want you to have something to KNOW for a fact you WILL BE ABLE TO Look forward to-from someone who has lived it and felt the same way as you preop!
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for strength and for peace of mind! PLEASE take care! Love, Janet
I cried when I read your post to me. I have been writing a book about my journey and the things that I went through, in hopes that it will help people-because of how alone I felt pre-op. I weighed almost 450# preop, and got up to almost 500# when I was pregnant with my now almost 7 yr old. I also have 4 kids. To know that something I said helped you (this far out, lol) means a lot to me. It made my day! Your soooo very welcome!
Kim, let me tell you-I was scared crapless that something would happen that my children wouldnt have a mom for the rest of their growing up yrs and my little guy was almost 4 when I had my surgery and I worried about him the most.....BUT.....my oldest (who is now 24, married and has given me a grand-daughter) I was very active in her classroom activities-I was home room mother, I was a brownie scout leader, I did it all. I was abt 350# then, but I always mustered up the courage and energy somehow of doing her parties at school and such. Well, when she was in 5th grade, my 2nd daughter started K, and I signed up to do the same things for her-however-I went to do the Christmas party, walked into her classroom and there was about 5 kids who had her in the corner of the classroom, telling her how fat her mom was, mooing at her and she was so mad! She was yelling for them to stop and sticking up for me, with big crocodile tears rolling down her face. It is instinct for kids to protect their mommas no matter what! I was DEVASTATED! After that, I started talking to Megan (the 5th grader) and she reluctantly admitted that kids always made fun of her too, but she didnt care-she wanted me to keep doing her parties. I just couldnt. I never went back to the school again where the kids could "see me closely". I attended only a couple of plays or choir concerts. It was just too painful to me, to know that MY kids were going to be picked on because of me! So, when my oldest son came to live with us when he was in K, (he is my stepson, but I dont call him that) I never did ANY of his parties. He is now in 10th grade. I missed it all with him!!! SOOOOO....when I had this late in life baby-and I was waiting for this surgery (I, like you had to wait for almost 2 yrs and went through 4 physical denials****pt thinking of how neat it would be to enter his classroom, be a home room mom and for him not to be teased! (my kids even got teased on the bus because the kids on the bus saw me by the mailbox one day when the kids were getting picked up-so they were teased every day on the bus about how fat their momma was!).......
Just this yr my little guy started public school (he was home schooled last yr, due to him having a severe speech impairment and could NOT be understood) anyhow, roughly 2 months ago, they had their open house and the following week I went to lunch with him-and know what? Not only did NO ONE, NOT ONE kid make fun of me-they treated me like a superstar! I really didnt have much time with Jon because all of the kids in his class were swarmed around me, asking me to eat with them and talking etc....As I left the school, the front door shut behind me and the tears just flowed! After 3 yrs, you have done almost all the HUGE WOW moments-but for me, that ONE WOW that day-wouldve made it all worth it again! When Jon got home that night, I asked if anyone made fun of me, and he looked confused....said no, and the tears flowed again! Kim-its the MOST AWESOME feeling not to be treated like some freak circus clown, you know?
Again, from experience, I can tell you-that it KILLED ME to not be able to attend certain functions at school because I physically couldnt fit in certain seats in the auditorium, couldnt do some of the volunteering for field trips because I was so fat I couldnt get between the seats of the bus IF I rode the bus...even sideways I had to really struggle and one time when I drove behind the bus, when we got to the Springfield conservation center and went to hike a trail, I thought I was going to die. Sweat dripping off me and I couldnt catch my breath-and it was sooo loud-and they were concerned I was having a heart attack and almost called out the paramedics. I wanted to just crawl in a hole and not come out! Man was that humiliating! Of course, we also didnt do any zoos, amusement parks, things kids love-and all because of me.!!
Kim-I am almost 3 yrs out and now-I have gone to two graduations-my oldest from college, my 2nd oldest from high school. I have gone to amusement parks, zoos, rode the buses with them, done hay rides, fished, camped, hunted, ALL school activities, all sports activities, all choir concerts, walking the mall, shopping with girls-lol....BUT, one of my favorite things, is that there are now pictures of me with my kids-all the time! I have so many pics now, its unbelievable! I can actually document special events in our life, WITH ME IN THE PICS OR ON THE VIDEOS! ITS SOOOOOO AWESOME! There arent very many pics of me pre-op. I forbid it-and I hated it. It had to be a head shot. No full body. Oh, I just wanted to cry when someone took a pic of me! Now, I love having my pics taken with my fabulous kids! I love the fact when my new grand daughter was born, I was holding her telling everyone-get this picture! LOL.....the feelings are unbelievable. PLUS....WHEN we do all go to the store together-I blend in. Everyone isnt staring at me and my c cart because I was too fat to walk the store. More than 5 minutes and I was hurting so much.....Now I walk in, no one stares and no carts! I blend in. I Love it!
We went to the Grand Canyon and walked Miles and miles-took 100s of pics, we went and rode bumper boats, go-karts, I rode in a real boat....a canoe....things that were NEVER possible before and my boys, who are the only ones still living at home-have told me that they are having the most fun with me!
Im NOT trying to sway you-I am just telling you that I had severe anxiety before surgery. I cried in the operating room before they put me out. I thought I was going to back out myself, but the experience the past 3 yrs, have been living life. I AM FINALLY LIVING LIFE!
MY ONLY REGRET: NOT DOING IT 20 YEARS AGO! I missed so much with my oldest 3, and I feel soooo guilty about that. I just didnt know it was ever a possibility for me and I didnt think that I could ever be a candidate for this surgery!
My quality of life is awesome, it was worth every thing! I can honestly say for me, and several others I know-the surgery was actually the easiest part of the journey, lol......its the other stuff-eating and emotional etc that affected me most. I have angeled over 20 women and they all had the same issues!
I feel like when I read your posts, you want this so badly, youve been obviously fighting for it since 2007 and you FINALLY got to this place-and its a lot of hoops to jump through-your just having the pre-op feelings that MOST of us have and so when this type of thing happens, right before our surgeries, it scares the crap out of us and because we are already worried about that in the back of our head-the reality that something can happens just slaps us in the face! I sincerely believe what I wrote about our time....no matter how unfortunate-I can tell you, without a doubt-your NOT living the life you WANT right now for your 4 kids anyway-right? This surgery WILL give you that life you have always dreamed of having WITH your kids, hubby and yourself! You dont need a counselor for that.......it will be so awesome, you wont understand WHY you got so freaked out, when its all said and done, lol.....
PLEASE feel free to email me directly IF you want/need to talk..... my email is [email protected] and in the subject line, put your name so I will open it-or it will be lost in the spam box....lol...at that point, I can send you my phone number, ok? Do you have an angel yet?
Well......this has turned out to be WAY WAY longer than I intended and im sooo very sorry for that. I just want you to have something to KNOW for a fact you WILL BE ABLE TO Look forward to-from someone who has lived it and felt the same way as you preop!
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for strength and for peace of mind! PLEASE take care! Love, Janet
Thanks for the reply. I will make sure I call an leave a message if I don't go. I have to be there at 5am. surgery is to begin at 7am. I have been praying for this surgery since 2007. I have grown more afraid as time has come to go in. I have 4 sons and don't want to leave them with out a mother. I have been cheating them by not being able to walk in the zoo or parks without my back hurting an have to leave early. I know this surgery will help me alot. I just fear the unknown. I talked to my husband an he was able to help calm my nerves down. I also read about thousands of people that don't have any problems and some do.Thanks for all your prayers and I will keep you updated.
You have to remember we have no promises of tomorrow regardless of surgery. I am hoping to have the same surgery Angie had and of course it has made me stop and think. I cannot live a life in fear of what could happen. Angie would tell you not to be afraid. You have to decide whats right for you. Just know we will all be praying for you.
Susie
Thanks Hazmatt11,
I understand what you are saying. I have to learn to not leave my life in fear. I have been living in fear for a long time. I don't know how to stop doing it. I use to see a therpist and I going to start back going..I was told before it is anxiety. I am thankful that I have this site to help me along the way.
I understand what you are saying. I have to learn to not leave my life in fear. I have been living in fear for a long time. I don't know how to stop doing it. I use to see a therpist and I going to start back going..I was told before it is anxiety. I am thankful that I have this site to help me along the way.
I completely understand what you are saying. I too was one of the ones that was scared something would happen to me. But, if it is your time then it is and there isnt anything you can do about it. Also, there is always a chance of something going wrong when having surgery, you can't let fear run your life. You can die from child birth. It is ultimately your choice in the end. I too was like man, I am really having 2nd thought about having my panny when the time comes. I had gotten to talk and know Angie some on here, but I mostly talked to her on facebook and she was a wonderful, caring person! I know that she wouldn't want me to stop going for my dream. She always told me how great I looked and how far I have come. She just left me a picture comment not that long ago :) it's the small things that ppl do that make you the happiest!
Okay, I am getting off topic here, but you take chances each and everyday- you have to do what is good for you! You also have to look at alot of things like Angie's body went through alot - obesity is a killer! She wanted to live and did and enjoyed life and let her friends and family know how much she loved them! You have to know that your chances of dying are alot higher with obesity then with having wls. I too, got to thinking wow, maybe I DON'T want to have my Panni, but really I do. I have had so many surgeries over the years and honestly, if god wants me he is going to take me. I am enjoying my life to the fullest! Think about all the positives that will come from the surgery, dont focus on the whats ifs. I was the WHAT IF WOMAN... Trust me! LOL. I would have the surgery again 100x over! No doubt about it!
Think about all the awesome ways your life is about to change for the better, if you need a list send me a message and I can give you MANY reasons why you should do it. I hope that you still do it, but this might not be for everyone. I know that this is the BEST decision I have ever made for myself regarding my health.
Lori
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