Update on Mom
Well it's not really an update ,but wanted to Thank you all for your Love,prayers and support.
They done the biopsy.Should have the results the 22nd.
The mass is almost the size of a baseball Dr said.And A black spot on the other lung.She has a nasty cough also.But she is trying to say it's from the cold she had. I said Mom you have had a nasty cough for a few yrs now but it is sounding worse.
She says NO Chemo or anything if the mass is cancer.
I am so scared and worried for her. Heck I'm scared for me. She is my Mother and I love her.I don't wanna lose her.
I was cheery and upbeat for her yesterday but was very hard not to just cry. But didn't want her feeling bad. I know she is scared to death but she is very stubborn and won't admit it.
I am going to start spending more time with her.I don't want the if onlys driving me insain if something would happen to her.
After loseing my brother in 07 i really don't think i can handle loseing her .My father died at age 54 from congestive heart failure.
Even though she was never there when i was growing up.Always drunk and very physically and mentally abusive. I Love her. And I get through not haveing her as a mother by telling myself she did the best she knew how.
When I got into drugs real bad at age 35, after i got clean .I realized Mom did the best she could.Because she had a addiction to alcohol.And It controled her life.I know how the drugs controlled me so i know it was hard for her to be a mom while being drunk all the time.
I know i am just rambling and I am sorry. I am just so confused right now.I don't wanna think about her dying and not being with me but i know it could be a real possibility.And I just don't know how to get through it right now.
I know it is all in Gods hands But i am still scared.
She has lost over 40lbs in less than a month.She looks so thin and her skin is gray looking to me.Loseing that much weight in such a short time isn't a good sign either.
I just wish i could do something for her,But i can't.All i can do is Love her and be there for her. But sure dosent seem like much. wish there was more i could do.
Well i have probably confused ya'll with my rambling so i will stop for now. Please keep the prayers coming for her. And I Thank you all.You guys are awesome.
Love and Hugs Deb
They done the biopsy.Should have the results the 22nd.
The mass is almost the size of a baseball Dr said.And A black spot on the other lung.She has a nasty cough also.But she is trying to say it's from the cold she had. I said Mom you have had a nasty cough for a few yrs now but it is sounding worse.
She says NO Chemo or anything if the mass is cancer.
I am so scared and worried for her. Heck I'm scared for me. She is my Mother and I love her.I don't wanna lose her.
I was cheery and upbeat for her yesterday but was very hard not to just cry. But didn't want her feeling bad. I know she is scared to death but she is very stubborn and won't admit it.
I am going to start spending more time with her.I don't want the if onlys driving me insain if something would happen to her.
After loseing my brother in 07 i really don't think i can handle loseing her .My father died at age 54 from congestive heart failure.
Even though she was never there when i was growing up.Always drunk and very physically and mentally abusive. I Love her. And I get through not haveing her as a mother by telling myself she did the best she knew how.
When I got into drugs real bad at age 35, after i got clean .I realized Mom did the best she could.Because she had a addiction to alcohol.And It controled her life.I know how the drugs controlled me so i know it was hard for her to be a mom while being drunk all the time.
I know i am just rambling and I am sorry. I am just so confused right now.I don't wanna think about her dying and not being with me but i know it could be a real possibility.And I just don't know how to get through it right now.
I know it is all in Gods hands But i am still scared.
She has lost over 40lbs in less than a month.She looks so thin and her skin is gray looking to me.Loseing that much weight in such a short time isn't a good sign either.
I just wish i could do something for her,But i can't.All i can do is Love her and be there for her. But sure dosent seem like much. wish there was more i could do.
Well i have probably confused ya'll with my rambling so i will stop for now. Please keep the prayers coming for her. And I Thank you all.You guys are awesome.
Love and Hugs Deb
Im praying not only for your mothers health and for the doctors to be able to help in what ever way necessary but also am praying for you Pooh , God is with you and is willing to help hold you up and to sooth your fears. and know that your OH family are here to be a sounding board for any and all ramblings you have....we all have broad shoulders. love you and wishing you strength, and calmness and love.
http://community.webshots.com/user/mimicook?vhost=community
GOD BLESS YOU TODAY
JAN COOK
hug's to you also
Deb:
Sounds like you and I could have had the same mother. Mine also was a heavy drinker and physically and mentally abusive. I lost my mother in 1981 to heart failure. The meals on wheels delivery man found her on the couch. I agree with letting the pass go, nothing we can do about it and you still have time. I admire you for being able to do that, I DO know how hard that is and I DO understand how you can still love her.
What ever the results come back, remember you have all or anyone of us to go to. We can be your sounding block if you need us. Please take advantage and don't try this alone. We are here!
My prayers and hugs are with you.
Barbara
Sounds like you and I could have had the same mother. Mine also was a heavy drinker and physically and mentally abusive. I lost my mother in 1981 to heart failure. The meals on wheels delivery man found her on the couch. I agree with letting the pass go, nothing we can do about it and you still have time. I admire you for being able to do that, I DO know how hard that is and I DO understand how you can still love her.
What ever the results come back, remember you have all or anyone of us to go to. We can be your sounding block if you need us. Please take advantage and don't try this alone. We are here!
My prayers and hugs are with you.
Barbara
Hugs; Barbara
Lap RNY ~ 4/22/2003
5'0" ~253 starting wt. 130 lb loss!
************************
Extended Tummy Tuck with KU Residency Program
01/08/2010 ....Lost another 7 lbs with TT.
Lap RNY ~ 4/22/2003
5'0" ~253 starting wt. 130 lb loss!
************************
Extended Tummy Tuck with KU Residency Program
01/08/2010 ....Lost another 7 lbs with TT.
Barbara
Thank you for your careing words and your support.It means alot. My moms name is Barbara also.
Sometimes i ask myself how can i love someone who was so aweful to me.But Then I realize because if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here to have my loveing husband and my wonderful children.I have had a good life with Gail and i am grateful to her for that. If that makes any sense to anyone LOL.
Love and Hugs Deb
Thank you for your careing words and your support.It means alot. My moms name is Barbara also.
Sometimes i ask myself how can i love someone who was so aweful to me.But Then I realize because if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here to have my loveing husband and my wonderful children.I have had a good life with Gail and i am grateful to her for that. If that makes any sense to anyone LOL.
Love and Hugs Deb
Deb sweetie...
There are so many that understand what you are going thru. Mark had the same kind of relationship with his mom and when she died he grieved more for what they didn't have because of her actions as he grew up. He loved her but wished that they had had a better relationship. You are doing so well to be able to continue to love her because she gave you life than being so resentful of her mistakes. Those mistakes also shaped you and have made you a better person today. Mark and I always said that our goal was just to be better parents than ours were and that our kids will be even better than that. I think you are accomplishing that with Gail and Nikki and your other children.
I'm praying that your mom makes the best decision for her and her remaining time. Mark's mom chose chemo and that took her life. She was too unhealthy and weak to have taken the dose they gave her. She was diagnosed w/stage 4 cancer (the worst stage) on July 5, received chemo on July 6 and was gone by July 31. They tried to tell her that chemo would give her 18 months. It was 3 weeks of pure hell. Honor your mom's wishes and support her to the best of your ability. We are here for you. Love you dearly.
There are so many that understand what you are going thru. Mark had the same kind of relationship with his mom and when she died he grieved more for what they didn't have because of her actions as he grew up. He loved her but wished that they had had a better relationship. You are doing so well to be able to continue to love her because she gave you life than being so resentful of her mistakes. Those mistakes also shaped you and have made you a better person today. Mark and I always said that our goal was just to be better parents than ours were and that our kids will be even better than that. I think you are accomplishing that with Gail and Nikki and your other children.
I'm praying that your mom makes the best decision for her and her remaining time. Mark's mom chose chemo and that took her life. She was too unhealthy and weak to have taken the dose they gave her. She was diagnosed w/stage 4 cancer (the worst stage) on July 5, received chemo on July 6 and was gone by July 31. They tried to tell her that chemo would give her 18 months. It was 3 weeks of pure hell. Honor your mom's wishes and support her to the best of your ability. We are here for you. Love you dearly.
Peggy 
Life isn't about about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Life isn't about about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Most Active
Recent Topics
