New ABC's

          New Alphabet
A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float! < BR>Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.
A's for Arthritis;
B. the Bad back;
C's for the chest pains -- perhaps car-d-iac?
D. is for Dental decay and decline,
E. is for Eyesight, can't read that top line!
F. is for Fissures and Fluid retention,
G. is for Gas, which I 'd rather not mention.

H. is High blood pressure -- I'd rather it low;
I. for Incisions with scars you can show.
J. is for Joints, out of socket -- won't mend,
K. is for Knees that crack when they bend.
L's for Libido. What happened to sex?
M. is for Memory, I forget what comes next...
N. is Neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O. is for Osteo, bones that don't grow!
P. for Prescriptions, I have quite a few -- just
give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q. is for Queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R. is for Reflux -- one meal turns to two.
S. is for Sleepless nights, counting my fears;
T. is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!
U. is for Urinary; troubles with flow;
V. for Vertigo; that's 'dizzy,' you know.
W. for Worry; NOW what's going 'round?
X. is for X-ray, and what might be found.
Y. for another Year I'm left here behind,
Z's for Zes t I still have... In my mind!
I've survived all the symptoms my body's deployed; an d
I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!