I'm so happy and emotional today (I blame PMS)

I just wanted to share with you all two desserts that I made yesterday for my hubby and I.  I made sf chocolate pudding and sf strawberry jellow with fresh strawberries and banannas in it.  Then last night after dinner I took two wine gobblets and layered chocolate pudding then banannas then sf cool whip then more pudding more banannas and topped it with cool whip.  They looked so pretty and was soooo yummy!!!  I layered the jello and cool whip also for myself tonight.  (I'm home alone until late friday night or early saturday morning) 

I just feel so good that I am eating healthy and am sharing it with my family.  I used to eat all the bad things and TONS of it.  It just makes me feel so good that I can make yummy tasty things for the ones I love and know that I'm not hurting them by feeding them.  I have recently come to relaize that feeding people is a part of my addiction also.  Not only am I a food addict but I love to feed people. 

I am going to make an appointment with the phys. that did my evaluation for my preop testing last year before surgery and get some help to deal with my addiction.  I know I am addicted to food.  And I need help with it.  I am losing weight and I am on the right path but I do eat things that I shouldn't and I KNOW I shouldn't.  It's the old me that just thinks man remember how good that used to be.  But you know what---when I eat those things now---they aren't good anymore.  I feel guilty and just feel like I've just wasted my time and space in my tummy eating CRAP!!!  I don't want to make excuses or not take acceptance for my own actions but please don't misunderstand me---I don't eat wrong often or much of it when I do.  I guess the first step in fixing things is acknowledging and accepting what you're doing wrong.  So I'm just laying it all out there I guess.  The 22nd is my one yr surgiversary and although I am extremely happy with my success I just wonder if I could have done better by this time.  I wonder if 202lbs wasn't what I could have done---I wonder if I could have lost more by now.  Or if I should have. 

~Angie

Hugs Angie,...I know just what you mean about feeding others.  I do the same thing,...not sure it's about an addiction or if I just enjoy my family being around and cooking for them is one way of getting them here. I made a delis meal tonight for them and everyone enjoyed it.  We had Salad, a pasta with tomato sauce,...and diced toms,...Tyson's breaded chicken breast,...baked.  and peas.  Put parm cheese on top and wow it was so good.  I added a little marg to the peas and that was it.  No fried food and we did have some crusty bread that I baked.
I love the SF jello,..yours sounds great.  I went to therapy for over a yr about the food addiction,...I would like to start again,...maybe after I get a house and moved I will have some time for me.
You take care of yourself, and you are doing great.  So don't beat yourself up with this.  I know the first yr things move pretty fast, that second yr you will have to work your tool a little more.  Things will slow down.  So keep pushing you can do this.
Marylin

Your feelings are normal..this time of the year is really hard for me, I wanna graze,but when we have the grazing days just do the jello and pudding thing..I drink alot of the sf lattee that satisfies me more than anything, I use fat fre milk..and moca lattee at walmart , its in a box...We all wonder if we could have done better but just dont dwell on it, you still have time and you are doing so good..your not in this alone..and it is good to talk about it..you are a very beautiful person inside and outside and you have come a long way, so just dig in and be happy...love ya ...vesta

I am right there with you. I am having so much head hunger. I think I have eating too much and thats why I am losing slow. I gotta get on track. Crazy how food haunts us. You have to have it to live but you also have to control it. Alcohol would be easier to control, you just avoid it. Glad I do not have that problem though. Together we will beat this food addiction and be healthy happy people.

Angie...
Sweetie I don't think you are alone with this thing....I know it's an issue not only with me but with my family....Food is associated with every thing that goes on in our famliy.. You get an award ..you get a family meal...it's your birthday....you get a family meal... etc..etc..etc........ Matter afact we are having one tonight for my step father....it's his birthday and official retirement day from the air force.....The whole famliy is comming and my daughter got him a bakery cake to go along with all the fattening food we will be having..... 
And I find myself buying the kids there junk they like even after I say Im not going to do it...Sometimes I wonder if part of it's because I know it's an excuse to get it in the house so I can sneak in it at times!!?? ......
I think some of my problem with food is comfort and satisfaction...... I have alot of stress in my life.....I know some of you can relate to that.....And I catch myself eating comfort foods to help relive some of the stress....... Food can be pretty dang tasty.... That's a well known fact and if it wasn't then there wouldn't be so many fat people out there!!
But as I read your post I realized that one of the things that I needed to start doing while I work on the issue Im having with the food is to do like your doing and start making SF, FF and better for me foods look more appitizing and so it for the whole family....It wouldn't kill any of them to eat better and if they need some of the other crap then they can get it on their own and eat it while they are out......

The past few weeks have been the hardest on me since my WLS....I stopped smoking Dec 30th.....That's the day I got my phone call about seeing Dr.MacIntyre, about getting my TT done....I know you have to quit for surgery so I knew I had to get started.....Well my mom went in the hosptial ....then a few days later my grand mother had a heart attack....in the middle of that my two weeks with my son home from basics had flown by and I had to take him back.... And I smoke like a train when I drive!!!
God was I torn with all this going on....I did cheat some with the smoking but the anxiety about killed me...It was impossible to get past it and keep going with all that was going on..... And without noticing what I was doing I ended up eating here and eating there to help take the edge off from not having the cigs.... I was so focused on trying to get off the cigs that I haven't noticed till the past few days how much I had started eating to take the place of a cig....And as I look back on the pat few weeks I realize I have really been pigging out basicly!!!....So I weighed...thinking maybe it wasn't as bad I thought it was.....WRONG!!! I have gained 12 pounds in the past few weeks!!! Now I have even more emotions because of the weight gain!!!
But now that Ive realized how bad Ive done and how easily my eating can get away from me again if Im not careful...Im going to try and make changes and make the good for me food look just as ymmy as the not good for me food....

Angie...Thanks for this post....It help me to open my eyes....Help me know there's away to get  it undercontrol....I was begining to dought my even having WLS.... And help me to know Im not alone with this food issue......
Luv & Hugs...Tammy~ammy

Angie you are not alone I am upset with myself, I eat and drink things I know I shouldnt but at the time I cant tell myself to stop.  I havent been to the gym since the holidays its just like before my surgery I find an excuse for everything.  Your dessert sounds yummy.  Just remember we are all here for a reason.  Food addiction is not any different then alcohol, drugs or smoking you cant just walk away and think your fixed it doesnt work that way.  We are all in the same boat or we wouldnt be where we are so dont be so hard on yourself.  We are not perfect even though I think it would feel good to be perfect.  Sending hugs, Raynetta

HERE'S TO EVERYONE OF YOU!!!!! I too suffer from food addition....and your all right, it CONTROL'S everything we do!!!
BUT... that is how we have all come together....kinda like a AA meeting...so to speak. Only we dont drink....we EAT!!
I know Im new to this in all, but I still have to deal with issues too....and so far Im ok....for now....but what going to happen 6 months down that road???
We will all make it....all of you are doing great....just look in the mirror and if that dont work...put a pic of your old self up in the bathroom, so you can see it everytime you go to look at yourself...
Also...even though Im still early out....Peggys thread about "what ya eat today...has really helped...It makes you accountable....for rights and wrongs....for goods and bads....
Now...Angie....your one awesome women to get to where your at now compaired to a year ago....look at what you have done...Im soo proud of you!!
Hope to see ya all on Peggys Thread tonight....actually...it helps me see that there is hope for me and other foods....lol
Love and Hugs to you all....