WHATS HAPPENING SATURDAY
Hi Auntie Jan and OH Peeps-
I just want to say real quick that I have heard from Deb D-we just spoke the other day, she called me to get the other Debs number to her hospital room. They have been incredibly busy and she said she will get back in and post just as soon as she has time. I have also been texting with Sheila and she is doing okay too. Still having issues with her darn collar bone-and its looking like they will be doing surgery and putting a different plate in there-or something like that!
Yesterday, I ended up feeling like caca......(meaning crap). So, I was down for a good part of the afternoon and evening. I HATE that nauseated feeling-and combined with the pain I am in, I was fit to be tied! ARGH! I feel better except the pain. I sent a email out asking for prayer about my appt Tues. I desperately want some answers. I am checking into a procedure where they do a permanent pain block gadget at the base of your spine and you have sorta like a remote control-and it zaps the pain, and it keeps it from getting to your brain somehow. I dont know ALL the details right now, but Jan had first mentioned it to me, (a couple of months ago) and then, believe it or not-I got an email from my EX MIL (who woulda thought?) and she told me of her good friend who just had that thing installed and how wonderful she is doing and asked me if it would be okay for her to get the surgeons info for me and email it to me? Well-I have been praying, and a lot of my friends and family have been praying for answers-this may be the answer coming to me-just NOT in the way I expected it? The Lord does work in mysterious ways and I am not going to let my past with my ex MIL stand in the way. I have already told her that I forgave her, and I meant it. I believe its another valuable lesson I am learning here. I am just thankful that she and I can mend our relationship, even though I dont feel we will ever be close-but I have a much better feeling in my heart when I chose to forgive her. Doesnt mean I have to be buddy buddy-but I do feel like there is something to be said about all this. Hummmmm.
What do I say about this weather? The only thing I can think of is how bad it makes me hurt! I just cant function. Im sick of talking about it, Im sick of sounding like a broken record. Im sick of not being able to wrap my mind around it! I cant suck it up, I cant move on, I cant do anything! Im just plain over this! I said I wouldnt do this in 2009. I have too much I want to do and to get done and I am NOT going to live in pain every day this year. What ifs, whys, all of it-just driving me nuts. Sick of the whole ball of wax, and really upset that I have lost enough weight to make a full size overweight man-and I am in more pain than I ever was obese. Makes me feel like I was robbed. I got this wonderful life-and it was awesome, for like 6 months. Geez, I know horrible horrid people that live better than that! Im past the point of discouraged, and I am hitting the depression side, so I just have turned it ALL over to God and I am laying it all out on the line Tues with my doc and one of two things will happen- I will either be put in a psych ward, OR I will get tests ordered, meds changed and start the road to getting answers instead of the unknown! I really do have a good feeling about Tues though, even though I physically hurt like haitis-I feel good that Tues will net me some answers and a course of action. I have to believe that, its what is keeping me going!
Well, Megan was having the severe cramps again last night. When she called me, I was like-Oh crap, I am sick, theres no way I can go sit at the hospital-so I told her to call me after she got to the hospital and let me know what they said-and If I had to go-I would. I knew she was with her hubby though, so she wasnt alone, or I would have gone no matter what. So, she called and said that by the time they got to the hospital, the pains had stopped-but her chest hurt. She figured it was from hyperventilating or eating too fast or something or rather. Dang. That kid is going to owe me Clairol coloring for my hair-for the rest of my life!!!
As Im typing this, I am watching cruise ships on tv. I really want to go on a cruise. Mike and I have talked about it for a really long time. We are giving it up this year tho, to go to AZ and visit with his family, as Aunt Sis is terminal and grandma isnt doing well. So, we figured we just arent going to get much chance to see them alive very much longer. I hate that tho, I feel like there is always gloom and doom surrounding our trips out to AZ....I told Mike that this time, we will spend at least 3 days at the Grand Canyon and IF we have enough money, I want to go to Disney. We dont have to make the whole trip gloomy. Right? Mike said that Disney would be like a 5 hr drive, but you know what? When will we be that close again? Not sure, so I want to try and do that too.
Well, Mike just came in, and I am going to get a brunch finished. I started it, but he went down to visit with his parents and just got back- Please remember everyone in prayer who needs it and I appreciate any you say for my daughter and grandaughter to be, and for my appt on Tues. Thanks so much-love you all and have a wonderful Saturday! Love, Janet
