WHATS HAPPENING FOR TUESDAY
I was so worn out from watching and dealing with Joe last night that all I could do was collapsed in bed about ten but now im awake and ready to do this. Lol what ever trail this may take . I never know when I start typing what im going to say or talk about .
Im still so filled with everything we did and saw and felt during this past week of our stay at the campgrounds. It was a wonderful experience….I was asked if you had to have a motorcycle to join in on that and no I don’t think you have to. There are people that belong to the CMA chapters that don’t have bikes…so I wouldn’t think you would have to. And I know you don’t have to be a member either really. Cause Joe and I haven’t really joined a chapter yet and we went. I just went online and found out when this Changing of the Colors Rally was going to be and sent in my reservation and check to register which wasn’t but 34.00 and then when we got there we paid for the camping. Which is really cheap too. 4 dollars or 8 dollars a night with elect. Pretty good I thought. Anyway there is a daily schedule of all the things going on that day and you can choose which ones you want to do. There are led rides mixed in there too. Like the one to the top of
Your time is well spent doing lots of different things. Services every morning and every evening with different evangelists . and Different seminars during the day on all sorts of subjects, seminars for couples, for women, for men and there is daily things for the kids too. From tiny ones on up to college students.
We had people from all sorts of foreign countries too. Africa,
Oh yes they have meals 3 times a day that you can get for 5.00 a meal. It is a buffet style and you eat in this huge dining hall. We got buy pretty cheaply I guess . Joe went thru the line and always got me a little something he knew I could have on his plate and that is what I ate sometimes and sometimes I didn’t and just had a protein shake , well protein and decaf coffee lol.
I hope that is all the questions everyone has ask. There were almost 3000 people registered and it was just one amazing week. Oh yes on Sat. everyone in camp lined up with their bikes and trikes and had a parade into
Well I think that is it finally if you aren’t interested in this I guess I have bored you long enough. Im just full of it today remembering .
Joe seemed to get better as the evening worn on yesterday. He did have one more small episode of not seizures like he had but confusion and wild eyed looks for about 5 minutes and not knowing my name exactly got part of it right but he said my name was joyce Kay Cook , which is his sisters name Joyce . but he came out of it in a few minutes. I tell you that is scary , it just brought back some memories of right after he had his wreck in 99. I really think I have post traumatic syndrome about his wreck. Almost any illness he has will send me back to that morning and all those old feelings of being scared and worried and sick feelings.
But with Gods help I can overcome and have and stand strong.
SUGAR:::: Are you ok? You didn’t get back on was just wondering. Yes im anxious to see your pictures.
LYNETTE::::: thanks for the welcome back , how are you feeling? And what do you think is wrong with your stab wounds. That is what I called them…looked like someone had stabbed me 5 places in the belly lol are your red or oozing or what?
Did you get an answer from Margie? She is really good about getting back to me just wondered. If you got thru to her.
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VESTA::::: yeah I guess if we didn’t know the Lord and know what he is capably of we would be more afraid of the economy but with knowing Him and all he can do we needed fear.
Love your new picture….just a little dark….
SHEILA::::: I am keeping you in my prayers daily for your pain. I know there has to be a lot of it but daily it will get better and better.
Let us know what the surgeon says today ok?
DEB:::::: I know you really did enjoy meeting Bec. Isnt she precious? You cant help but smile all the time she is around can you?
BEC:::: thank you for praying that I would be refreshed from my camping experience…it worked , I don’t think I could have handled Joe yesterday if I hadn’t had that under my belt.
Did you get lots of Pecans? Now what are you going to make with them?
Has the pain subsided any ? If now you need to go see your pcp and have him do an ultrasound…you are what now 4 weeks out of surgery , you shouldn’t be having much of any pain at all by now….so call and make an appointment and have them set up an ultrasound to be done , isnt that what your surgeon said ?
Take care of yourself sweetie…we want to see a happy , girl on the 19th….
SUZIE:::: ouch on the dentist thing….i bet that hurts like a big dog doesn’t it?
Take care and not long now till your big day …am keeping you on our prayer list to have a great surgery and good recovery.
Is the mouth pain any better today?
CASSIE::::: hey welcome to this post , happy to see you on here. Lol poor thing you were deprived of your favorite for your last supper, but will come a time that you will be able to eat that again if you want, the thing about a lot of things that I thought I loved before surgery doesn’t taste nothing like it use to. And of course you cant eat even one tenth of what you did before. Lol
JANET::::: hey yeah what kinds of long handles and all about them. We have some but they are just your run of the mill long handles. Please send emails …..
I think I answered most of your questions about the CMA rally above.
Isnt it awful what people will do and say when they think there is a little money to worry about. The man probably didn’t have much of anything anyway but you can always tell who the vultures are in a family …they start circling before the body is even cold. It is so awful sometimes how they can act. I am keeping you all and especially Mike in my prayers ….im glad that he can go out and settle everything.
Oh my gosh didn’t know you had re broken your tailbone. Girl what in the world are we going to do with you….
Shame about not finding the deer. I know that is disgusting to real hunters, to harm an animal and think about it being injured and all. but hopefully she will be ok.
Oh on the bush that attracts butterflies, there is one called butterfly bush and it will get fairly big if you don’t trim it down ….i have one about 10 ft tall now and about 4 ft across. They come in several different colors. Pull it up on google and see if that would be something you would like ? and yes you could probably plant it now…since it is a perennial. But wait till your butt is healed ok? Don’t need to be digging now.
So far all my plants are ok but today is to be spent getting in a lot of things I want to save from the cold and have again next year….I have a lot of things that are just to pretty to let the frost get to them…so im putting them in pots and will put in the green house.
My mums are still very pretty , the ones I just bought and the ones I already had…if it doesn’t come a hard freeze then they all should be ok….
Want to remind everyone that if you have a frost and you will get out early in the morning before the sun hits the plants and spray off the frost you will save them for another few days or weeks depending on how long it takes for their to be another spell of frost …
Oh and I think you do just great subbing for me when im gone and don’t intend to fire you lol
Silly goose.
LOU:::::I am so glad that you are doing well enough to go back to work…that is great .
The eating part away from home is always tricky, at home you can get everything in like you are suppose to but when you aren’t there it is harder, not impossible but harder , you just have to plan…good im glad you have a good boss.
Looking forward to the meeting next Monday, I guess I need to post today about it, right?
BEV::::::::::so you were in KC this last week end huh??? Hmmm the plot thickens , you can be added to my list of possibles for my secret pal. Lol
Im glad you had a good week end with your dad and sorry about all the vials of blood they took, I had all of mine run here while back and it was 16 vials and then they called me the next day and told me I had to come back in to give them more because they didn’t get one for something , darn that was enough to start their own blood bank or maybe someone is using all this blood to clone someone lol poor person.
Oh anyone who is interested I posted some pictures on here about the week end. I failed on capturing the fact of so many bikes and tents, you wouldn’t have believed but I can see it in my minds eye anyway.
LOVE AND HUGS
GOD BLESS
http://community.webshots.com/user/mimicook?vhost=community
GOD BLESS YOU TODAY
JAN COOK
Good morning sis and all! Oh, I just didnt get back on because I spent so much time on the puter yesterday making out games for the Oktoberfest this Friday and I was tired of typing by the time I got it all done. And I had to write the news article for the church newsletter for my JOY group. It is crazy because I have to write it like weve already had our event for this month because it goes in next months newsletter! lol...and I have to write something about next months event even tho we never have a date set or anything when I write it! lol
Sis the rally sounds absoulutely fantastic..renewing and refreshing and just done right fun. Did you all know anyone there? The West Plains chapter would be as close for you as Branson? Boy that doesnt seem right but I guess it could be thru the back way huh?
This will be short too cause I have to leave in just a few to go to the gym. I felt so good yesterday after getting back at it. Im really anxious to go this morning. And Tues is the early class, so I have to leave here by 8.
It sounds like everyone is having so much fun visiting back and forth...I want someone to come see me! Or I want to go visit someone! Hey sis, as soon as you can trust Joe to be alone we need to go visit someone! I sure hope that is all done with him. What is this test supposed to show them anyway? That is so scary. The wild eyed spells are seizures too arent they? That is what they told Melissa to look for when Levi fell that time and hit his head. And even just staring off into space. You didnt say, is that something that can be a side effect of having that test done?
Janet You did a bang up job at filling in for sis, and I volunteer you to do it when ever shes going to be gone! Everyone appreciates the two of you sooooo much for keeping this line of communication going for all of us. I thank you both because I sure couldnt keep up with it all...I love everyone on here too but MY mind isnt good enough anymore to keep track of everything and everyone. And LORDY girl, will your life ever settle down and be boring and calm? I pray for you and all the issues your family is having to be settled. Especially those with little Jon and his little heart being troubled.
Bec you need to get the pain checked out. You should be healed and doing great so something isnt right in there. Maybe it is a problem with the drain hole not healed right from the inside and it needs to be checked out really well. Worried about you sweet lady!
Sheila, you poor little thing. I sure wish you were closer so I could do something for you. What could I do for you if I was???? I do pray for you to heal quickly.
Where is everyone? Alot of girls havent been posting lately...love and miss you all....
I gotta go swim and work out! Love and my LORD's best to you all today!
GOD is my ROCK! SUGAR 
Golly I only have moment..... my sis is on her way to pick me up we are going to get apples...
I feel like one of those busy squirrels I watch out my window picking up acorns and storing them away for winter! It is "bin days" at the orchard in Waverly so we are making out annual trek for apples. I love the Fuji best as they seem to do so well as an all around apple.... eating, baking etc.
My Paul thinks he has been severely mistreated in the food department! He said to me yesterday ..... "you are not ever going to be a good cook again are you"? Man that made me feel bad ..... so I guess I better get busy and make my good man a little something just so he knows I still can "if" I want too! ~tee hee
Am going to be making cherry a cheese cake to send home with Debbie D. for David and her boys. I will have to make Paul one too.
I had such a WONDERFUL day yesterday! If Miss {{{{Deb}}}} tries to tell us again that she never smiles I KNOW IT'S NOT TRUE!!! ~tee hee Or those people who tell her that needs to just have another look! ~ha I was so very blessed to get to spend those two hours with her! I sure hope Deb that you realized you did not have a thing to worry about in meeting me. You say way way too kind of words about me! The blessing was mine to be sure! Oh I'm so excited about the nuts! She gave me three different kinds!!!! I sure will have my work cut out for me now in getting them all cracked and picked..... she had the biggest most beautiful hickory nuts I've ever seen... and the black walnuts were big this year too....
Mimi ~ You asked me what I was going to do with them.... one thing for sure is I'm going to make the sugar free pecan pie that Sugar makes! I simply can't wait to have a taste of it on the 19th! That dear lady is going to bring it to the lunch!!!! It was one of my very favorites at the holidays and I was quite sure I would never be able to have THAT again.... I guess I kind of mourned that one if you will along with the cream cheese fudge. I know it's silly.... but I LOVED those two things.
You asked about how I was doing.... I am doing noticeably better this week... I still have some nasty pain and am still taking the pain meds to walk but I had to do that before I had surgery.... I think I am going to go ahead and heal up it is just going to take the "FULL" eight weeks like they told me I guess..... I should of known that!
Today I get more things to eat.... even though I don't really care one bit .... I now can have small amounts of fruits and veggies.... that really opens up some possibilities ....... Yippee!
Boy I have alot more to say but just have to get myself finished ready for the day.... will have to do yard work with Paul when I get back from getting the apples.....
I hope to have a bit more time in the morning to write as it's time to do housework before Debbie D. gets here for Thursday and Friday.....
I had wonderful talks with Janet and Renee on the phone this week.... it is always such a blessing to talk with any of you dear wonderful folks! Janet you are going to have a "goot" time going thru those baby clothes... there are 5 medium sized boxes of them! Wow that just amazes me! Deb... I know you will be blessed beyond measure for your generosity! I'm praying so and the baby clothes were not even for me! It's does my heart so very good to see how everyone loves and gives to one another! It REALLY REALLY blesses me! Can you believe I have a tear rolling again! It's simply wonderful!
I just have to get off here now..... love each one of you and am praying that good things come your way today!
bec
I will try and answer my e~mails tomorrow morning.... Jeanine you are a sweet doll! I want to talk with you tomorrow on the phone if that's ok?
Not a lot going on here today.Nikki is off to school ,Gail is working in Kansas.He wasn't home last night and Nikki and I sure missed him.I slept in the bed with the pillow top mattress last night and i knew better,Now everything hurts on me,My hair even hurts LOL.
Sounds like you had a really good time on your trip.Seeing all those tents made me wanna go camping ,Until i walked outside and that brisk morning air changed my mind really quick LOL. I came in went down and loaded the wood stove,It is nice and warm in here now.
I love to go outside early and hear the birds chirpping,But this morning wasn't any chirpping,Just blue Jays screaming,Rooster across the street crowing and the hoot owl hootin, I swear the rooster and owl both have got to be blind because they crow and hoot all day and then at night they do. So either blind or terribly confused LOL.
Sam stayed outside last night ,I told him when i got ready for bed he better come in it was gonna get cold but he just laid in the yard looking at me like whatever mom i ain't moving.So when i opened the door this morning he about knocked me over coming in.LOL So he is laying on his blanket snoozing and happy.
Yes Bec is precious.You can't help but be happy when you're around her.I've never seen anyone so excited over nuts before,She was so tickled.You would of thought she had just won the Missouri lottery jackpot.I just love her.
i called Laura about 7:30 this morning .We will be walking but after it warms up some.My bones can't stand it when it's real chilly they don't wanna work. Wonder if i took a can of WD 40 and squirted it up my butt that would get those bones to moving better,LOL.
If i could remember to take my calcium tablets 3xs a day would probably do wonders,But i always forget to take them.Bec told me walmart has a daily pill container that has a timer in the middle of it,I haven't seen them at the walmart in Brookfield, So when i go to Kirksville tomorrow i'll go check out their walmart,It is a lot bigger than ours.Ours is suppose to be super center but haven't seen nothing super about it yet ,Other than everything is super expensive. LOL . I don't understand why all walmarts aren't the same in price on things .But this store is alot higher than the one in Kirksville or Chillicothe.And walmart will match other store prices but not other walmart store prices. Go figure.
Gail has gotton most of the lights up on the house Just have to go get about 5 more boxes of icicle lights and we have 8 more windows to do plus the garage. Then it will be putting up all the yard stuff, That will take forever LOL. But will be so pretty when its all done and lit up. The guy that works for the city is gonna come down with the ladder truck so we can put lights in the cedar tree out by the drive way .
I seen on weather bug this morning it might snow a little Thursday, That's crazy . But i've seen it snow on Halloween before,But it's still crazy LOL.
Just tried eating a lil bit of toast with peanut butter and it feels stuck,So there goes eating for the rest of the day.Sure will be glad when and if i ever get to eat again LOL.
I'm just rambling and have probably bored you all to death so i'll go, Gotta make beds and do some laundry.
Hope everyone has a great day, Prayers for all and take care.
Love and {{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}} Deb
Good Morning Auntie Jan and OH Peeps~
Jan-I was so worried last night when I got on and read your post!!! Is uncle Joe Joe feeling better and doing okay this morning? I sure hope so! Know what? It becomes so personal when you KNOW someone and when you get close to people-whether this is just a website to some-to me, its so much more and I KNOW, for a fact, several others feel that way too! Your family to me, and I just couldnt get you and Joe off my minds all night long! What a sigh of relief to get up this morning and see your post! I was telling Mike about it this morning over coffee and he said what Bev B said-that when he had his-that he had to stay there for 4 hours-AND when he got home-he was to "rest" for the rest of the day-on a recliner or such-NO LAYING FLAT-HAD to have his HEAD ELEVATED!!! Did he have to stay after the procedure? Did they NOT tell you to keep his head elevated? WTH? Im scared of the medical profession anymore-I really am! At any rate....I am standing in faith WITH you and we are CLAIMING Joes health right now-NO MORE COMPLICATIONS! NO MORE!!!
Yesterday was ok. Talked to the pain management doc office and was MORE than disgusted with the docs orders....BUT.... I see her next week, the 30th. IF my tailbone isnt healed-we are going to have to figure out the next step. One thing that the nurse told me-is that they may be sending me to, I always forget the technical name for the doc-but an arthritis specialist. My arthritis, O/A, DDD and DJD ARE SEVERE and she knows that a LOT of the pain I am going to be experiencing (am right now) IS based on the weather. The late fall/winter time-almost cripples me! I HATE THIS! Im so sick of being in here and saying that. I have been doing a lot of research AND......with all the bone and joint issues I have-I can have 100 surgeries and I will NEVER be pain free! NONE OF THOSE THINGS WILL GO AWAY and there is NO CURE for ANY OF IT! This has surely been the week from H E L L!!!! So much has been coming at me. Im TRYING, with all of my heart and my soul to stay positive-and Im gonna tell you-that last night was about as bad as its been, mentally. I was in such a dark place-ready to give up...... figure, well-what the hell-I had this surgery-and I have lost enough weight to be a very large man-AND....I am so willing to do the things I have never done before AND want to do-and yet-limitations, limitations, limitations. So-here goes how I am feeling and what I am thinking and those of you that have ANY advice-I would LOVE to hear it.....PLEASE! I VALUE your opinions.... So-here goes:
All of my life I have been big. I have missed out on SO MUCH! Like-even as a kid-at girl scouts-I could only get a uniform one year...then they were so expensive from having to be specially made (YEARS AGO-LOL) and I dropped out. When we went to camp-I was the ONLY girl who didnt horseback ride-because of how fat I was. We had to, back then, get weighed IN FRONT of kids (at school)-and it was months of humiliation and merciful teasing....I NEVER went trick or treating after the first year I remember-because I had a couple of adults make comments about IF I NEEDED more candy-and teased me and that same year-a couple of boys knocked me down and took my pillow case of candy saying I didnt need it cause I was a fat*ss-and I never went back. This is NOT to make ANYONE FEEL SORRY FOR ME...I WANT to get across to everyone WHERE I am coming from-there IS a point to MY madness! Ok-so...this is my WHOLE LIFE....ALWAYS having limitations-hell, I couldnt even get to the bottom of the shallow end of my pool-because my fat would bounce me right back to the top! Just so much-so much no one thinks about-but for me, and lugging around almost 450# and my mental state of mind-I HAD GIVEN UP! I WANTED TO DIE! When my life changed-when the weight started to come off-and the SIMPLE things started to happen-BIG things for the super duper obese peeps, like me-like wiping my rear without standing, taking a shower and reaching ALL my body parts-and feeling clean afterwards-tying my shoes, wearing clothes that I CHOOSE to wear, I no longer HAVE to shop at the expensive plus sized stores and I NO longer HAVE to wear ONLY what is big enough to fit-I had some of the ugliest clothes on earth, peeps-BECAUSE THEY FIT!!! sometimes the things at Catherines-in the largest size they made-didnt fit!!! They were too small OR too short! For Mike to have fallen in love with me, just amazes the hell out of me! (which I was no where near that big when we met...I had lost 100# after my divorce to Eric-and I did Sweatin to the Oldies morning AND night-and was down to 215-250.....-but then I got hurt, knee injury again and the surgeries started and that was it!) Ok-so.....what I am getting at is this- "I" have only had MY LIFE BACK-for a little over a year! Yes, I am 2 yrs out in just a couple of weeks, but....I was a good year out, before I didnt really have limitations BECAUSE of my weight. Now... So here is my thought:
I have researched all my bone and joint issues. I have stage 6 O/A... No cure. Arthritis-No cure. DJD....No cure and the DDD....No cure. I have been told I SHOULD have to have surgery on my back. No gaurantee that it will help ANYTHING...In fact-LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of complications AND it WILL NOT be a long term fix for me. Due to the fact that my discs are disingrated-6 presently-as of last MRI/SCAN-and 2 more getting there-the only thing that they can be definite about is: I WILL have titanium discs, 2 rods in my back,2 cysts removed AND my siatic nerve repaired. I am NOT going to be healed-AND.... I WILL have to have another surgery as the other discs disingrate. There is NO WAY to stop this from happening. Now-I realize that eventually-the DDD and DJD WILL KICK MY *SS-I KNOW THIS....BUT, Right now-I am just so leary of hopping up on the operating table and risking something worse than I deal with now. At least now-I CAN do activities and such-even WITH THE PAIN....But...That CAN CHANGE-and UNDERSTAND-this is NOT ME BEING A PESSIMIST....(sp?) this IS REALITY! The statistics are NOT good. I can and do know that the knee surgeries-they are going to be a blessing and I WILL have more pain relief than problems post op. I have talked to enough people to know that most are happy, with those new knees and the relief that they get. The back surgery-not so much. I have YET TO TALK TO ANYONE WHO WOULD DO THEIRS AGAIN OR WHO ARE BETTER OFF NOW!!! NOT ONE...IF any of you has a success story-back wise-I would LOVE To hear it-and it HAS to be for DDD...k? Look at Brenda-she cannot even keep up with her housework that she WAS doing pre-op. Susan-she had 3 back surgeries-ALL of the same issues as me-and even with weight loss-BAD-WORSE OFF (and for what?).....so many people-and so, my way of thinking is-at least right now-I CAN do activities. I CAN walk. I CAN camp. I CAN fish. I CAN. I CAN. I CAN...Does NOT mean its pain free living, of course-but I AM able.....IF that was taken from me-I think, mentally, because of this journey and because, for the first time in 40 yrs-I HAVE A LIFE-no matter HOW PITIFUL it is-ITS MY LIFE! I LOVE doing things with my family. I LOVE going to the store and no carts-I LOVE going to garage sales. Riding the go-karts (cuz I couldnt before....I know-Im crazy-BUT...) I havent begun to cross all the stuff off my goal list. I told Mike-I have only been FREE for a year! For a year peeps! I was a PRISONER IN MY BODY FOR 38 yrs and now....I DONT want to be a prisoner, for ANYTHING! Sure as hell not something "I" cannot fix-I cannot fix that. I CAN keep this weight off. I CAN get the tummy tuck, I CAN get both knees replaced AND finally, I CAN move to a better climate to get the relief that way-BUT...If they mess up with my back-and even if they dont mess up-but-the discs and rods mess ME up-there is no turning back the clock and taking it back. 5 or 6# yes-the rest of my life being a prisoner because of my back surgery-NO..... Mike and I talked, in length, about the possibility that we may have to move. If I want to have any sort of quality of life-that just may be one of our only options. So-I hear a lot say....I will feel better, I will this or that-but I dont think I have ever explained exactly what I am thinking and like I said-this is only regarding the back surgery. I AM going to go get the tummy tuck-BUT...I may get the knee or knees done first. Im not sure yet. Everythings been so overwhelming lately. I know, by spring, at least...I will have 2 surgeries under my belt. The tummy tuck and the right knee. Its the worst one-they both are eaten up with arthritis and I basically dont have any knee caps-BUT....the right one is worse due to the fact that I have 3 broken pcs of bone sticking out....
Ok-so on to last night. We got a call yesterday from Mikes aunt Sis....she was letting us know that this company that is shipping dads ashes to us-would be calling and that Mike or I would HAVE to talk to them, about the shipping-that they would have to get a verbal okay (before they are allowed to ship them) AND then they have to verify that someone will be here to accept them. Mike was working when she called-so he didnt answer the call-so I got a text from him asking me to call her-and just as I opened his text-her call came through and we talked. Well, it seems that grandma, on Saturday, was at her and dads apartment and that the DME company had come out to pick up dads oxygen tank and all of the medical supplies he had there-and the guy that came out (he is 24 and has been the one has gone out to dad and grandmas for the past year-and has gotten to know them) he is in dads bedroom, talking to grandma-and she starts crying, she PASSES OUT on him-FALL****s her head-breaks her glasses, is knocked out and the gash across her forehead-is bleeding profusely (as head wounds always do). This kid calls 911-then aunt sis (who is 3 blocks away around the corner)....he lifts grandma and is holding her, talking to her and all as they are waiting for the ambulance. Grandma spent the day Saturday IN the hospital (getting tests and such)-she has never had stitches in her life (will be 93 next month)-and her forehead is stitched from side to side. Sis said when she got there-that poor kid was covered in blood from his chest to his shoes! OMG! Poor guy! Poor grandma. The thing that touched my heart-was that the guy had tears running down his face, because he has become attached to grandma (as well as dad) and felt so bad! I was like-COME ON, YOUR KIDDING ME!!!! Is this a joke? Whats going on?
Mike gets home. He asks me what was going on with aunt sis and so on. We talk and I tell him about that company. I can tell he is so bothered about something and I KNOW its dad-BUT...I dont bring it up-so I wait. I tell Mike-honey, I HAVE to ask you something, because of this company-they CAN take the ashes to Aunt Sis IF you need more time to deal with this before they get here....he looks at me-I told him that she asked me what "I" thought and for the first time since Mike and I have been together, I didnt know how to answer that ?..... Mike sits for the longest time. Tears start coming down his face. It took him 15 minutes to tell me-one word at a time-that he cant remember ANY memories with his dad. I cant see him, in my memories, he tells me. WHY CANT I REMEMBER MY DAD? HOW COME I CANT SEE HIM IN MY HEAD? WHATS WRONG WITH ME? WHY? WHY? WHY? he described this particular fishing trip to Stockton and how this huge fish ripped the pole right out of Mikes hands and his dad was sitting right there next to him-and he says-when I look over there now, he isnt there-I cant see his face. I cant remember ANY MEMORIES...WHY, WHY, WHY????? OMG Peeps. I cannot, for the life of me, remember going through anything so heartbreaking with Mike. For Mike. The tears started flowing and there was no stopping it. I stood up, walked over to my beautiful husband and just held him while he cried and reassured him that his memories WILL come back-and his dads beautiful face WILL come back and that he WILL be with Mike ALWAYS....Then, he tells me that he doesnt even remember what he is suppose to do with the ashes. Am I suppose to decide? No, I said-I was there in July. I know what he wanted. Then he got angry (not at me, just in general)-I AM SUPPOSE TO KNOW! I AM SUPPOSE TO DO WHAT HE WANTS ME TO DO-AND I CANT REMEMBER!!! I just CANT REMEMBER WHAT HE TOLD ME!!! Thats all he said-Why cant I remember? Over and over and over. PTSS. Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Rough, bad, bad night. Bad.
God did something amazing though...Jon had been pretty hyped up-just bouncing off the walls-and when Mike and I were in the livingroom-the boys didnt come in and bug-AND....after it was all said and done-this child that was going 90 to nothin-walks in the livingroom, walks over to Mike and says-Guess what I havent given you since you have been home? Yep, hug and kiss...Love you, daddy- to the super, duper, cheese moon and sun and back-in the WHOLEEEEEEE WORLD!!! THIS MUCH, DADDY!!!! (this was not prompted by Darrel either-neither knew what had gone on while they were in their room...opposite end of the house-and they were playing their sony). I lost count on how many hugs Mike ended up getting. We went to the track-to get a car Mike had to work on for someone (extra money) and then I took him to Academy for his new arrows-my treat. My last $20, but well worth it-
Woke up this morning - pain intense. Mike had to help me up again....But, emotionally, much better. The prayers ARE WORKING FOR ME-for strength anyway-so PLEASE keep them coming. Prayers for my hubby and family are appreciated as well.....more than you know. Also...if you could pray for our Suburban.....it had some funky shake in it last night AND is leaking oil. We cannot afford anything to go wrong with it right now-so any prayers you can send up for us on that, would be greatly appreciated!!! Thank you!
Well, I just got a text from Renee-she has a bad eye infection and it hurts her to read right now!!! She asked me to tell everyone hello for her-AND....to let you all know she has lost 31#!!! WOOOO HOOOO and BOOOO YA! YAY YAY YAY...Baby circle dancin for sure!!! She is getting all her protein and liquids in and gets to have some foods now.....WOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!
Well, I am gonna get my responses done and get my clothes changed.
**jan-keep us posted on Joe. Prayers for sure. Im sorry you both had to go through that! That stinks! The info on your trip is FAR from boring. Could have read about it for hours!! loved reading it and cant wait to hear more in person!!! The parade-sounds magical-like disney or something!! Would LOVE to see that. Heck, I get excited when I see 20 bikes at Undercliff-OR when they had a bike rally at the campgrounds there around the corner and it was 100s of bikes-AWESOME for sure!!!
Thanks for the info on the butterfly bush. No, I WONT be digging anything. Aaron or Darrel..... I will research it. Thanks and hope all is well today. Your both in my thoughts and prayers.
**Lynette-whats going on? keep us posted and your in our prayers.
**Sheila-What did the surgeon say? Your in our prayers.
**Deb (pooh)-isnt Bec just a doll? gotta love her!! Take a pic of that wreath! Cant wait to see it. She told me about it and it sounds BEAUTIFUL!!! Im jelous-LOL.....Glad you got the hug. Love ya. Hope your pain is bearable today! In my prayers, as always.
**Bec-thanks for giving Deb my hug and not forgetting-LOL...No one hugs quite like you do!! LOL... Love ya and hope your pain is way better. If not, please make that call. Your in my prayers.
**Cassie-WE LOVE NEWBIES-WELCOME to the Whats Happening thread-PLEASE KEEP COMING BACK and let us get to know you!! Tell us about yourself!
Well, I know that I havent responded to alot. I gotta run, didnt realize it was so late. My thoughts and prayers are with you all-have a wonderful Tuesday. Love, Janet
Anyway just wanted to let you know I know how Mike feels about not "remembering" or "seeing" his father. I lost my father, will be 7 yrs now on the 5th of Nov. And it took a long while to get passed that grief and pain. I lost alot from losing my father. My faith and belief of God and someone that I could count on for everything. But the time came when I finally dreamed about my father, I didn't get to see his face but I knew it was him. That dream brought back the memories....not my faith...but memories. So please tell Mike that my thoughts are with him and the memories and face will come back, but not tell hes ready for them.
Now as I'm sitting here posting this tears are running down my cheeks and I'm asking that I don't get angry posts about losing my faith...please understand that I want so badly to believe that God took my father for a reason. I guess the time has not come for me to understand yet.
I haven't posted much lately, but felt like I needed to post. You all have NO idea how much this site plays into my life right now. Someone else posted (I'm sorry I cant remember your name) that she didn't have any friend and a life.....I can Relate to that, believe me!!
OK enough of this.....I wish everyone a Great day and have fun!!!
Cor
Cor, never ever would we get angry about something like that! You are loved and cared for and as a Christian myself, I pray that God shows you what you need to see to help you get your faith back. I struggled with the loss of my mom and had some pretty severe issues too for a while but the Good Lord saw me through it and I got it all straightened out in my head and my heart. I will pray the same for you. We love you!
Janet...girl I am so worried about you and the pain you have. It sounds like a plan tho to get the tt done and the knee. I wish you could get both knees done at once. That is how I did it and thank GOD for letting me do it that way. I was glad to have them both feeling better at the same time so I could get on with life. Your family and you have been thru soooo much just since Ive known you and Im sure I dont even know the half of it. But I pray that the good LORD gives you a peace about the choices you make. And I also pray that the suburban carries on! Just wanted to take special notice of how much you are cared about and loved and prayed for.
I still have no relief for the grandkids and picking them up everyday except that gas prices are lower so it wont eat up as much $ this way.
GOD is my ROCK! SUGAR
Cassie L.
We had a GREAT weekend in Jamesport! Once again the Lord was GREAT, the weather perfect and the B&B we stayed at was wonderful! The owner of the B&B called me back Friday afternoon and apologized. He said, I was correct, it was his fault, he had double booked the room for Saturday night. My reservation was made about a week before. I guess he called the other people and canceled. I hope he offered them a free night's stay for their inconvenience!
This was our first trip to Jamesport in the fall. We always went for our anniversary in February. (Haven't been in 5 years though.) Needless to say, there were a lot more people there this weekend. We went out to the country Amish Stores first then went shopping in town. Enjoyed a group of blue grass musicians for about an hour. Honestly, it was one of the best times that dh and I have had in a long time. I told him we have to do this at least once a year! We both need the time alone together. He agreed. :)
I was a good girl and didn't spend too much $$. I did buy a hand made picnic basket. I have been reading a book by Kay Arthur, Emilie Barnes & Donna Otto called "Youniquely Woman". There is one chapter in there that tells of making a "Love Basket". You put in it a tablecloth, two fancy glasses with long stems, cloth napkins, candle holder and candle. Then you add the food items. You can use it as a "Love Basket" for anyone. To take to the beach, football game, etc. However, mine is going to be used primarily as a Love Basket for my hubby. I'm going to prepare it and every once in awhile, when I know he's having a hard time of things, I'm going to surprise him with it. The basket I bought is beautiful and has a little table to put it on. Should last for a very long time. Anyways, I thought it was a great idea!
There's also a place in Jamesport that makes their own candles. My favorite is called summer. So bought one of them and another one I liked called timeless. Of course, bought some spices and candies (for the kids) at the Amish Country store.
Trenton (which is about 14 miles from Jamesport) was having Missouri Days. So Sunday after breakfast we went to Trenton and spent most of the day there. It was okay, not nearly as many crafters as in Mound City.
Monday I subbed at an elementary school. I was a "rover". That means I subbed for grades K thru 4th for about an hour each. Wasn't too bad. Then last night was BSA. Needless to say I am exhausted!! Then Aunt Flo decided to come for a visit this morning. That's one of the reasons why I'm sooooooooo tired!
Jake has his LAST football game today at 4:00. If they win this one then his 8th Grade Varsity team will be undefeated! These are the same kids who were on the 7th grade Varsity team last year and were undefeated and were district champions! I sure hope they win tonight. It's also parent recognition night. I told dh he had to be there at least by 1/2 time for the ceremony! The games are usually at 5:30 so DH has been able to make most of the games. However, since it gets dark earlier and there are no lights on the field they are having the game at 4:00 tonight.
Mama Jan - Glad to hear Joe is doing better. I can only imagine how terrified you must have been. I understand about the PTS. David had a serious closed head injury back in the fall of 1992 and spent 3 days in ICU in Jefferson City. He was helping his Step Dad trim some tree branches out at the farm. Maurie (his step dad) went to work on a saw. While he as gone a 20 foot long oak tree limb fell 30 feet from the air and hit David on the head. David doesn't remember it. They said by the look of the injury, he must have seen it coming and was trying to run out of it's way. He was unconscious but no one knows for how long. When he woke up he wanted to know where he was and why the Luke (Jake was here yet) and I weren't with him. He had even forgotten he had an old white truck. He had horrible problems with short term memory. He also become very introverted and mean spirited. The neurologist explained it to me that when someones brain is injured it shuts itself down to protect itself. When it starts to wake back up it reconnects, however, the connections may not be the same. Needless to say it was a rough 10 years before I got my dh back. I even left him shortly after Jake was born and filed for divorce. Jake was sick, I was sick and I couldn't deal with him anymore. We got back together a few weeks later. I can truly say that it is only by the GRACE OF GOD that DH and I are still together. Our marriage is better and stronger than it has ever been.
I am so grateful that the Lord brought us back together!
Let Joe know we all love him and are praying for him.
Glad you both enjoyed your trip and that didn't happen until you got home! That is a praise!
Janet - bless your heart! Please tell your dh, Mike, that I will pray for him. I haven't lost a parent. However, my dh lost his mother at the age of 66 in 2004. It was a very hard time. I'm so glad Mike has you there to comfort him. God's timing is always perfect even when we don't understand it. Thanks for sharing about little Jon. I know that blessed your heart as well as Mike's.
Bec - I'm excited about getting to see you on Thursday! I will call you later and let you know what time I'll be leaving. The weather is suppose to be cold and rainy. I was going to drive Luke's car, however, think I'll take dh's van. I'll probably leave around 8am or so. Would put me there around 10. Sound good? My apt isn't until 2:30 so we would have a few hours to work on that craft project. I love doing crafts, just don't do them much anymore. So I'm looking forward to helping you.
Sugar - Glad you and dh had a good time on your trip. Have you posted pics yet? Can't wait to see them as well as the ones from your Florida trip. I have to say it would be hard to write about something that hasn't happened yet...yet our main stream media seems to think Obama's already been elected! lol! Sorry, just couldn't resist!
Lou - glad your doing so well! Also glad to know that you have a good support group at work. I know that will help you in your journey.
Renee - how are you? Did Janet say you have some type of eye infection? I hope you get well soon!
Bev in Wichita - Wow, those new pics of you look great! Your new hair cut and color is great too! Sorry to hear you had a bad Monday. When they take my blood (which is every 6 months) they take around 11 vials of blood. So far I haven't had any problems. Though the lady did tell me I need to go home and eat right away because I basically gave my pint of blood for the day!
MO Peeps - please forgive me if I can't respond to everyone. I wish I could. It's just that my old brain doesn't function like it used too.
I hope all of you have a GREAT Tuesday!
Debbie D.
Did you hear me yell at you about noon Saturday? We went right pass Jamesport! We were on our way to Milan to a Wedding reception. My husband and grandaughter thought I was crazy when we came onto Jamesport I rolled down the window and yelled "HI DEBBIE" ....LOL
Lap RNY ~ 4/22/2003
5'0" ~253 starting wt. 130 lb loss!
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Extended Tummy Tuck with KU Residency Program
01/08/2010 ....Lost another 7 lbs with TT.
