~Whats Happening Saturday?~(for Jan)
Hi there, Peeps~
How is everyone today? What are your plans for the weekend? Besides staying warm, I might add...
Well-my day was lazzzzyyy. Jon and I did an art project for school-he made pilgrims-out of kit that Megan bought from Joanns fabrics....so since it was pilgrims...I did a history lesson to tie it all in while I was TRYING to get the pilgrims hair to stick to his head (a ball shape) and NOT my fingers-and Jon just kept getting the giggles, because, within seconds-every single one of my fingers was covered in brown fuzzzz!!! (hair was a pom pom you cut up!) Jon wanted to wait to do the big "field trip" for when Darrel can join us. He has 1/2 day next Thurs and then Friday off-so we are going Friday-and we are going to go on the trail-and find a nice place to picnic-by the river-and maybe the falls, just depends on where it leads us....anyway-the boys are totally making the picnic lunch and we are going to use our official picnic basket....
We got done with school and then I made lunch-leftover tacos and taquitos. I think Jon has a hollow leg right now! Anyway-I did 2 loads of wash in between times and then we were finishing up lunch and he came and crawled up on the couch and asked me to lay by him (we have a big pit sofa) so I laid with my head touching his head and I was rubbing his forehead-and the next thing I knew, Darrel was walking through the door-both Jon and I fell asleep. He did before me....I know that, because I remembered thinking he needed to take a nap and get caught up on his sleep...Poor little guy just is NOT sleeping well, at all! So-I was like-Uh, OH!!! Its date night - and we are leaving as soon as Mike gets home from work-so now I only have 45 minutes to get ready for our "date", plus, get the boys packed cuz they are staying overnite with Megan tonite....get a shower...You name it...I was stressed about the time factor! SOOOO.....as it went-Im not too tired, cuz I had a 2 hr nap today-and my date was AWESOME! WE had a blast! We went to Chatters for dinner. I had 1/2 order of salad with chicken breast, and Mike had the blackened chicken alfredo with cajun spices-and he said it was burning his throat it was so spicy. I LOVE spicy now, BUT...I was too afraid to try something new on the first date night we have had in forever. We have gone out a couple of times the past 6 months, but not been overnite away from all kids-its so nice to have all adult time once in awhile. We were SUPPOSE to go see Body of Lies OR Eagle Eye (?) but....the times they had posted AT the theatre were not the same as they had in the paper and so we HAD to see either the chihuahua movie, or Max Payne....We chose Max Payne-and now I wish we would have seen the taco bell dog! Max Payne STUNK! One of the worst movies I have EVER SEEN! EVER!! We decided that we are going to do a date night once a month, no matter what AND that we will go see our movie first OR rent what we want-so it doesnt cost an arm and leg..... We had fun though....felt like a teenager. Almost nervous. Laid out 4 different outfits and let Mike pick which one...He said-I knew thats why all those clothes were on the bed! LOL..... Really nice. Just what the dr. ordered and he did laugh some-and he hasnt done that all week-he still isnt ready to talk about his dad passing or memories etc-he will bring up this or that and I just listen and then thats that. One thing and no more. He just says-Im not ready-even when I dont bring anything up-its like he is afraid that I will-so he makes it known, right off the bat, that he isnt ready...thats okay. I will be here for loads of hugs and love when he is.
I wanted to get this posted now, because in the morning, Mike is going hunting, and I am going to sleep in and then go to town and hit the sales and 2nd hand stores I didnt get to this morning. I have some other errands to do as well, like get the straw for the dogs house outside-insulation for the plumbing in my laundry room and then I need to have the kids move the porch misc stuff around so that we can make room for the wood and they can get a rick or so moved to the porch so we dont have to go across the driveway to get it. We were going to go to the Maple Leaf parade in Carthage in the morning, but it STARTS at 9:30 AND its only going to be in the 40s then, and with the boys fighting colds and Megan being so sick all the time-we arent going to even try to make the parade-I may go and check out the pumpkin patch for Jon and the car show..... So-I am going to get my responses done and get to sleep.
**Andy-ITS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!!! Thank God your starting to feel better!!! Is it normal for your leg to still hurt like that after this long? Does the doc know how much it is bothering you? Maybe a side effect from all the problems they had taking out the cath? Im sorry its hurting you!! I hate to hear that!! Praise God that Susans leg and toe are all healed up!!! I am keeping you BOTH in prayer and cant wait to hear your both good as new and am praying about your bp....Hope its NORMAL now! No more tweeking the meds!
I bet Jan and Joe looked so cute-cool driving off. One of these days-you will have to video tape Jan packing that trailer!! What a hoot-did you get to watch her do it? LOL....Cant wait to hear the story about it, if you did-and yes, I am praying that I get to come to the meeting. I miss you guys so much!
**Deb D-Oh, how I am praying that they get you all straightened out for 2 nights! They usually dont rent out one night at a time!! I pray you have good weather, beautiful scenery and loads of amish shopping!!! They have the annual Bella Vista, AR craft fair this weekend and I wanted to go so badly, because its so HUGE and some really awesome stuff and my grams and I used to go years ago-BUT... The tailbone isnt going to allow that much travel right now-and its only like 35 minutes for us!
I did see a program (science channel, I believe) about men and women and how we think, the sides of the brains and so on and I DO believe that it DID give me a better understanding of HOW and WHY they do and say some of the things they do-its NOT because they dont care-IT IS because, like you said-they cant associate feelings with a situation etc-like we do! I would be really interested in watching the tapes tho-Im gonna look into it....I am also going to see about the book-I may just check the book barn and buy it-so I can re-read it when I need to-Jon will be a teen soon too! LOL...
Cant wait to hear how your weekend went! Will be thinking of you and hope and pray for safe travels and an all around AWESOME TIME!!!
**Jeanine-Im so sorry your having a day like that...Im glad you posted whether its all happy go lucky or not-THATS NOT WHAT LIFE IS ALWAYS ABOUT-so PLEASE dont feel like you have to post when your happy and not for every day situations-we WANT To hear about it all-no matter what!!
I agree with you about the drama....I snapped this week too-I will be praying that you get peace of mind....You and I-keep taking a page from each others journals, dont we? Deb too (pooh)....I think if we ever sat down to talk-we would be there for days!!!
When is your surgery? I sure dont mind adopting you! We tag teamed bec-LOL....and you already have so many that love you- Please take care and KNOW we are here for you WHENEVER and for WHATEVER you may need us for. We love you.
**Sandy (Shannon)-No, I didnt know you were called Sandy!! Thanks for telling me-so I can call you something your used to-LOL....I was ALWAYS JAN.....until I got on here and Jan C didnt work, cuz there was already one-LOL...
Im sorry your having a bad day-your in good company today-several others did too-and yes, I think its totally normal...It happens to me too! Glad to know your okay tho! Hope your pizza tasted good-it sure sounded like it! Hope today is better for you. I will keep you in my prayers!!
**Vesta-Hi there! Thanks for the compliment....Good to see you! Is everything going okay? Wish I could see you at the meeting this month-that would be so awesome! I think of you often and love you!
**Susie-what grade do you teach? Im sure you have posted it before and I missed it.....You are a way more patient person than I.....I cant sit with that many kids for that long! YIKES!
20 days!!! The count down begins.....do you have an angel yet? Let us know so we can get you hooked up with someone-ok? If not, we will worry, worry, worry!!! Have a good day!
**Sugar-WOWWWZZZZAAA-the mountains, the hike, the waterfalls-it ALL sounds just breath taking! Im so happy you got away!!! PLEASE make sure Im on the list to get that email of the pics! Hope you will bring some to the meeting this month too!
How are Ricks parents? Mikes dad passed away on Monday....its been a pretty sad week here for us.. I know we will get through it-but its so hard and its harder to think about calling and then realizing again that he is gone....I wonder how long that will take? Anyway-have been praying for Ricks parents and did Rachael find anyone to pick up the boys?
Cant wait to see you, you little world traveler....dont know when your sister world traveler will be back-cant remember what she said...Will be back by the 27th-LOL....
**Jan and Joe-I hope your having a blast!!! See you back soon!
**Sheila, Renee, Bec, Lou, Penni, Deb (pooh), Sherr, Tammy, Cor, Lynette-we are thinking of you all....Hope all is well with you guys!! Whether its health issues or personal....Hoping and praying your all good!!
Have a great Saturday everyone! Love you all. Thoughts and prayers to you all, Janet
Good morning to all,
Janet, just wanted to post this morning about the report on Rick's dad. He went to Tx to MD Anderson and got a second opinion and the cancer is for sure contained in the one spot on his cheek and cheekbone and not spread any further....PRAISE GOD! So they sent him home with instructions for chemo treatment only. They wont do radiation because it is too close to his brain. But his chemo is once a week for 8 weeks and each treatment is 5-6 hours long. That sounds like a lot. We talked to him day before yesterday (first treatment was Monday) and he said he was starting to feel yucky. But maybe it wont get too bad at least not until he's had a couple of treatments. Just pray that Rick's mom stays calm thru all of this because with the alzhiemers she gets very aggitated and confused when there is a stressful situation. Im not sure about Christmas with them this year either...dont want her to be put thru that trama and drama...I might suggest they come here? Just dont know what to do.
Now, about the feeling about calling someone that has passed and when will that go away??? Dont know, still waiting for that to happen. My mama passed in 02 so 7 years now and just Thursday when we were driving home I thought, think I will call and let Mama know we are almost home....IT is SUCH as SAD feeling to realize then that you can't! I always just look to the heavens and say "mama, were almost home!" Im hoping if she cant hear me that God will relay the message. lol!
No, Rachelle has not found anyone. Three different people took turns while I was gone...please continue to pray about that situation for us. I do not want to keep doing this all winter. PLEASE GOD!!! Thanks to all you prayer warriors for you continued support.
So Janet has Renee and Lou been back on to post yet? How are they doing? Im hoping they recover quickly.
Bec, where are you?
Deb, where were you going? Is this close to home and just a quick little get-away. My hubby suggested we go to Branson around Christmas time and stay overnight and go see the lights at SDC. So we will probably do that.
Now, who is wanting us all to come by thier house for lunch on the 19th? That might be fun and more at ease than going to a restaurant but it would be alot of work...
Well, gotta go...talk more later gang!
GOD is my ROCK! SUGAR 
Dear Sug,
Thanks for the update on Ricks dad. PRAISE GOD that its contained. Yeah, that long of a chemo treatment sounds like a long time-but some of that just may have to do with them taking a little longer to get him the same amount of meds that someone a little younger or healthier would get quicker-does that make sense? I HATED working at the Cancer Institute and seeing patients in those chairs for so many hours a day-BUT....often times there were good reports too-so...we will keep praying for him!!! I will pray for your MIL too! That would be stressful on anyone-and then give them that on top of it, what a mess! Im not sure what I would do for Christmas if I were you....What would be the easiest and least stressful and drama on everyone? Do they live in a house and entertain at Christmas time? If not, maybe you guys could go the weekend before? A day before? I dont know here, just throwing out ideas. Towards the end, for my g-parents, they didnt really host and such-so we would go down the weekend before and do a dinner and gifts for them-and they loved it AND didnt care what day it was-LOL....
We will definitely keep them AND the situation with the boys in our prayers! It will all work out, Im sure-God is just making sure he can find the RIGHT person!!! Did you ever see my post about that after school program at the Y and how they will pick up kids from the school? Yes, you do have to pay BUT...they do offer financial aid. Not sure if she qualifies-so I am NOT insinuating that she is not wealthy-just throwing it out there. I know she is a single parent and that her ex doesnt pay child support-so I just assumed and dont take it as a slam, ok? They have that program in Joplin-not Diamond, where I live-But, I wasnt sure if they offered it where she was or not-might be an idea to check into? IF I lived by her AND had a more economical car-I would do it in a heart beat since I dont work or whatever and just have her pay for my gas WHEN I needed the help.
Ok-lets see-Renee and Lou, last posts and texts (texts from Renee) are good. Drains out and they had their one week check up on Thurs. Renee was 2 g away from getting in all her protein yesterday (YAY!!) and is kicking butt. Pain in the side where the shark bite, I mean drain was-but thats to be expected, right? It will and DOES GET BETTER!
Sheila STILL in a lot of pain. I am going to be calling her DIL, Rach, here in a bit-Sheila just text me her number. Sheila said she didnt think it would be as hard on her as it has been. This surgery is kicking her butt. Well, she has 6 pins in there-for crying out-they had to peice our Sheila back together-so I know she can still use prayer!
Bec-she went to Pauls mom with him. She said she would be back Friday and that it would more than likely be too late for her to post. She has been in so much pain STILL from her side-that we may not hear from her until tomorrow. I pray that the pain got better for her-and that she is FINALLY getting relief. She is one of the sweetest people I have ever met in my life and it would really bother me for her to have a hernia or whatever, when she is so faithful about how she has done everything-to the T.....not saying ANYONE deserves to have complications-DO NOT take it that way-those of you who know me, know what I am saying and not to offend anyone!!! Just continue to pray for her as well. K?
Then-Peggy is the one who offered her home and lunch. I put Penni down in my post when I meant to put Peggy-so poor thing probably thinks I dont care about her-when I think the world of her. She is so funny and loving and I cant wait to see her! Anyway-you missed her post because you were off, tromping through the mountains, going on hikes with your hubby and seeing beautiful scenery and waterfalls-SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR OFF HAVING TOO MUCH FUN??? (sticking my tongue out at you!!!) Just kidding...YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU!
Sugar-I just got a call from Melissa, Mel....well-grandma passed away this morning at 6:15. Im not sure how much more my heart can take this week. Her grandma-was the closest thing I have had to a grandma since mine passed on. I was amazed at our bond-and I loved that woman so very, very much. I just told Mike last night that she was going to pass on-I had a dream about her-and I knew when I saw Mels call that is what or why she was calling me! PLEASE pray for the family. They lost Aunt Rokie in Feb., then Mom-May 10th to cancer and now Grandma. I said the ONLY thing that I knew to say-she is up there-catching up with her daughters-AND trying to make breakfast for God! On the inside Im screaming NO MORE! NO MORE! NO MORE!!! I CANNOT TAKE ANYMORE! On the outside, tho-I have to be strong, and I just dont want to anymore. DAMMIT IM MAD! I WANT MY DAD BACK-I WANT GRANDMA BACK! I WANT, I WANT, I WANT...I know, HOW SELFISH OF ME! Im TIRED of hurting. Physically, mentally. Im tired of crying. Im tired. Now, Im watching aunt sis and uncle Mike (micky we call him) die and micky only has days-Mikes grandma-she is in denial. I am so worried about her. When she lost dad-she STILL is waiting for him to call AND she STILL wants to go to the hospital for visiting hours and she was at the mortuary. when Micky dies- I dont know. Aunt Sis is TRYING to take care of grandma on her own. Wont let her go to her house-because she shared that with Dad-and they are worried she will sit in his room all day and not do anything else. Anyway-sis is tired-she is terminal with cancer-and weak physically and just suffering so (this is her 3rd bought with cancer-she has had double mastectomy, total hysterectomy and all the chemo and radiation and since BOTH of her daughters have died in the past 3 yrs and she doesnt have any kids at home-she is NOT having ANY treatments and NO one knows she is terminal now, except for Mike and I and Mikes biological mom-we had to PROMISE NOT to tell anyone-and she ONLY told us because she had to give Mike POA over dad in the event she went before him!). I WANT so badly to go out there and DUN DUN DUN...Save the world-BUT...because of MY PAIN, my broken ass that re-broke 2 weeks ago Friday-I CANT. Wow. All I can say is WOW...and....wonder-shake my head and wonder. Jonathan-he is just breaking everyones heart because he just doesnt understand. He just has this little heart of gold and is the most loving, caring 5 yr old I have ever met-and I am desperately praying that he starts to get some sleep and bounce back-cuz he is NOT understanding WHY his prayers (since God DOES hear them all, you know - thats what Jon says) AND he answers them-WHY he wont give his grandpa back AND IF its a good thing that Grandpa is in heaven because he hurts so much-when God is going to take mommy and daddy because they hurt so much too? What a mess.....I am going to go now-I dont want to keep rambling...and Im sure that everyone is sick of hearing me whine and moan. I love you and I will talk to you later. Janet
I'm making pies and baking cornbread to take for the chili/soup supper at church tonight. Other than that doing nothing.
I am hurting so bad today i actually had to have Gail help me get out of bed,This really bites. Guess i'll just deal with it i always do .But i still don't like it.
Gail is out putting more christmas lights on the house.It is pretty chilly out this morning,But it needs done or he will never get them all on in time. But right now i could really careless if they are done or not.
My weight is really getting on my nerve only have one left today and it's still early.But anyhow i gained 3#s Four if you count the 224 i weighed earlier this week now it says 228.
This is really starting to really bother me. I can feel myself getting depressed and don't like that either.I really should restart my paxil but i'm so sick of pills i could just scream.
I'm praying for all who ned it and that everyone has a great day.
Sorry its a short post but i really am just not in the mood to talk or even be around people today, I love you all.
Love and {{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}} Deb
Dear Deb (Pooh)....
Honey, I cried when I read your post! Its not MY Deb....I had to have Mike help me up the past 2 mornings. IT BITES! I KNOW ALL ABOUT PAIN-and I am PRAYING MY HEART OUT FOR YOU!!! PLEASE consider yourself HUGGED BIG TIME (but not hurtful!) (((((((HUGS))))))).......Email me WHEN your up to it. I sent you one yesterday, missed you yesterday and knew something was up with you-you were on my heart BIG time-and still are. I KNOW your sick of pills, but PLEASE talk to your doc about the Paxil....You have come too far-to get depressed now! PLEASE-PAIN WILL MAKE YOU DEPRESSED! When is your appt at the pain clinic for now? If you cant get there-I want you to let me know and we will figure something out. I want you to get relief-ecspically with the cold weather setting in-the pain will only get to you more and we are NOT going to let that happen to our Deb-we love you WAY TOO MUCH! I gaurantee you-those pounds WILL go away-do NOT let it add to your depression, PLEASE.....That will happen over this journey-and altho your newly post op (to me anyway) its freaky the first couple of times it happens-but there are so many reasons for it-all of which, at this point, have NOTHING to do with what your eating, ok? Its NOT going to stay-in fact, I wouldnt be surprised if you stepped on the scale in the next day or two and 6-7# are gone! It can AND did happen (and STILL does happen) to me-ALOT!!! I love you, Deb and if there is ANYTHING-I mean ANYTHING I CAN DO-to help you feel better-let me know.....Love, Janet
Didn't mean to make you cry i am sorry.I called to rechedual my pain clinic appt and have to call back monday becauses i missed their call back,Not sure i'll make it till next appt and it's only a consult.I take vocdine which is a waste of my taking them . I was on the phentinil patch {sp} once it helped for a couple days.Then my brother oded on morphine and other drugs were in his system too, Like valium or xanax and a few others.So i refuse to take morphine or the patch.
I was a meth addict for over 5 yrs,Hardest drug in my life to kick but i've been clean since may of 1997.And i don't trust myself with many narcotics,The way i hurt it would be so easy to fall rigt back into an addiction.Sometimes i think about going back on the meth because when i was on it a lost over 100lbs didnt hurt ever.But i know where that road leads and its not worth it so i just deal with the pain,Today has been and still is a very bad pain day.The disc in my neck are completely gone and have spurs on them which causes them to pinch a nerve which causes major pain in my shoulder,The disc in my back can't remember which ones but theres alot are all bone on bone,People tell me its all in my head.Man do i blow when i hear that, I don't say much about my pain but by cracky when i hurt i hurt i'm not just saying it and it sure as hell ain't in my head.I have percocet,dilaudid and vicodine plus flexeril. Only thing i take is the flexeril and vicodine,Just started taking the flexeril again this week, i dont see that it does anygood but i'm almost willing to try anything. i only take them both 2xs a day. but might as well be taking tylenol.
This weather is really taking a toll on my bones.My knees are bad too. Last time i went to dr in Aug after i fell over sam in the bedroon floor because he is black it was dark and i hit the floor hard , I could hardly move so i went to dr they did the xray thing and wanted me back in a week because my right knee is bone on bone too,You can move it and hear it rubbing.
I would just love for a dr to just pop my back but noone will touch me because of the disc the way they are.So was really looking forward to that appt at the pain clinic,But of course i knew better than to get my hopes up about getting to go.and i was right ,But i will call monday and rechedual,Even if i have to drive my car expired plates or not.And if i get pulled over i would/nt wanna be the patrolman that does. I'll be setting in jail LOL
I went thursday i think it was to the commubity walk in medical clinic they wanted 65 buxs just for an office call then whatever else they did all i wanted was a b-12,Didn't wanna pay their utility bill for the month,So i left i'll either go to milan monday or might wait till the 22nd i think is when i have appt with dr in kirksville,
I already have paxil here,just really don't wanna take it.But think i might have to start between the pain and the surgery and the weight going up and down driving me insain I think i better start it,I haven't been a very nice person to be around this week.I have started smoking again GRRRRRRRR,I havent walked this week except once i think/Laura never wants to go or its to dang cold for me in the morning then by the time it warms up she is in bed resting,And i think they are gonna be moving back to columbia so that will leave me here alone to walk by my self.Which will **** me off cuz she moved up here so we could do this journey together and i love her like a sis, heck she is more of a sis than the two i have.one i tolerate other i can't stand.Sure don;t sound like a very good christian do i or sound like anyone that anyone would want for a friend.Heck i don't even like myself LOL.
Only good thing that has happened lately even though my weight goes up and down i am down from a 22/24 to and 18/20 in stretch jeans.and some xl tops some still have to be xxl. because i like them loose .i guess i'm just used to big shirts to cover my fat,so i don't look like i have 2 butts one in back and one in front.My butt shelf is shrinking too so thats a plus.
I've just been feeling i have went through all this fpr nothing,can't eat nothing and still can't get past the 200# mark,It is so infuriating{sp}.I get my 92 grams of protein in most days only says to get in 65,and i drink 20 ozs of water with those so thats 40ozs plus i drink other things so i'm surely getting in enough fluids.Maybe my body is so used to being morbidly obese it don't wanna turn loose of the weight.
Lord look at me whine,whine,whine, When i should be so grateful that i even got it done,When there are so many that can't or are haveing to jump through hoops to get approved. I am Thankful Just very impatient i guess. I Thank God for allowing me to do it and for pulling me through it.So why am i being such a whinner?
Went to chili supper tonight took pies,cornbread ,Was ok the veggie soup was good at least the 3 tablespoons i had was.But just wasn't in the mood to even be there and be around people,So we left early.
Gail is sick too has been for about a week, He has bad sinuses they want to do surgery but he keeps stalling and the infection builds up to where it brings him to his knees. Guess i'm just gonna have to call the dr and set him up with another appt,Plus he needs to go see cardi dr again. I got mad at him today and told him if he wonn't go get checked out then i don't wanna hear about how bad he feels. I know that was mean but sometimes i gotta get hateful to get him moveing .
I got a halloween card and a 10 dollar gift card for walmart from my secret pal.I guess it was from secret pal. card wasn't signed lol. I have somethings to send off to my pal this week.Hope she likes them.Theres a few others on the list that even though they arent my secret pal i have found somethings for them too.Just gotta find a place to mail from so they dont know where or who it came from.LOL
I found your email i had deleted it cuz i didnt reconize the name but went back and found it,So i will respond to it later.
Well i'm sure yur sick of hearing me whine so i'll whine more tomorrow,Take care and hope you get a good nights rest,But since yur hurting i doubt you will,I'llpray God gets you through tonight as pain free as possible.I'll also be praying for your family.
I love you Girl.
Love and {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Deb
Blanket prayer for all who need it, God knows your needs so i'll leave them all with him.
Dear Deb,
While its fresh in my mind I want to tell you something that IS A FACT: YOU WILL NOT, NOT, NOT get ADDICTED to pain meds IF, IF, IF YOU ONLY TAKE THEM WHEN YOUR IN PAIN!!!! Not only did I go to nursing school, but one of my aunts was an orthopedic nurse for 28 yrs AND I have worked at a hospital for 13 yrs.....I have asked every doc I knew-and then some I didnt-BECAUSE of my issues with bone and joint and etc. Are you taking them to get high? NO....Your taking them to be able to FUNCTION! I do NOT get high-I DO NOT take them, EVER-when I am not in pain! Now-does that mean that your body cannot become reliant on them? no-your body, when taking narcotics long term, WILL, most certainly become reliant on them, thus-when you are ready to get off them, you will need to wean off of them, slowly-and you will be okay! I was on Oxycontin (240 mg PER DAY) and vicodin for 6 yrs. They said that IF "I" was addicted, I would have to be admitted to the hospital and weaned that way, with methodone-BUT...I ALWAYS remembered NEVER to take my meds IF I WASNT In pain...It took me 3 weeks and I weaned off of them (AT HOME), with NO WITHDRAWELS! IT was awesome! I was very disgusted when I had to go back on some narcotics-and fought it, like you-tooth and nail-BUT....If something aint working-and you may as well be popping a tic tac-then there is no sense!!! You HAVE to find a doc to get you regulated. Now-I KNOW that your brothers death was tragic-but sweety-your brothers death was not in vain-and you will KNOW-NOT to take extra pills, because of the pain. I cannot say that I have never taken extra-I HAVE, more than once, doubled up on some-because the pain is just too much to bear-BUT...when I read your post about your brother, I have NOT done it since-and I WILL NOT....Instead-I talked to my pain management doc AND decided to go ahead and PAY the high price (not covered on my RX Plan) so that I WOULD get some relief....its better than dying from an overdose!!!
Whoever tells you the pain is in your head-ought to have the CRAP BEAT OUT OF THEM! How DARE ANYONE SAY THAT TO YOU!!!! I KNOW your pain, I FEEL your pain-and I KNOW-Im sorry if this offends anyone-there are days it would be easier to die-than to deal with it ONE More day!! Every single time that I dont think I can possibly hurt anymore-Im proved wrong. I KNOW everyone keeps saying-get those surgeries done-and I have no problem with ANY of them-BUT...the risky back surgery....Its easy for someone to sit and say that-when they havent walked a mile in my shoes. When there is a chance I will NEVER walk again-hold my child on my lap-hold my grand-daughter, period-yes, I do have reservations and I guess-until I am ready for a freaking wheelchair again full time-I am not willing to just jump up on the operating table and have them mess with my back-as much as I have wrong with it. I have yet to meet ANYONE-who has had the surgery I NEED-WHO IS PAIN FREE OR-WHO WOULD DO IT AGAIN!!!! NO ONE!!! AND.....This is a lifelong issue-ITS FOREVER-its NOT going to fix my back forever. ALL my discs-will eventually disingrate-and so I am looking at multiple surgeries-God willing, I live to a ripe age. Im so sorry that people are ignorant and speak to you, out their ass's....they MUST be backass hillbillies-because any SMART person, wouldnt speak such B.S. out their mouth-so we KNOW where they are speaking from AND where they come from-dont you let dumb *ss people, get to you!! Pray for them, that they dont ever have to deal with what you have had to deal with-even though, it would be nice for them to live ONE DAY in your shoes-they would NEVER speak like that again, rather, be at your doorstep-asking HOW can I help you today, Deb? (Can you tell that riles me up????-let me at em' for you, Deb!!!-LOL)
Let me say-CONGRATS on beating Meth. I CAN and I DO understand where your coming from-its HARD-its so hard to go through what your going through!! Im sorry....On one hand, I know your afraid-on the other, Im afraid that IF you dont do SOMETHING....that the pain WILL drive you insane. The more we get to know each other-the more freaky it gets-the back, the knees. I dont have the neck issue (knocking on wood) but I have no padding between discs-IF the discs are there-and in my email, I explained about no knee caps and now my right knee has 3 broken bone pcs sticking out of it (pretty gross AND painful, I might add) BUT....not gonna have surgery to remove them, when I have to have surgery for a new knee altogether-they will do it then!
There are people who are resistant to some pain meds-OR have a high tolerance. Flexirils really dont do anything for me, either. Some people they work well for, Im not one of them. Vicodin-not a thing! Thats like popping a tic tac. So, I understand! The pain clinic-IF they can give you some relief-like the steroid shots-if they work for you, great. They didnt work, but 2 days, after the 2nd shot, for me and I did all 3-for the chance at a yr of relief. They do, however, work for Jans hubby, Joe-but it seems to me, that they double up in the dose they give him-NOW....before you begin the series-I would bring that up-because once you have had the set of 3-you CANNOT get them again for a YEAR! So-IF you tell them how resistant you are-they may bypass that first dosage and help you out in that way!
Onto the Paxil. Please talk to your doc and get back on it. Its not something you should ever stop and start when you want!!! I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW your sick of pills-sweety, I am ONLY TALKING TO YOU THROUGH EXPERIENCE AND WHAT THE LORD IS LAYING ON MY HEART!~! I AM NOT TRYING TO UPSET YOU......that being said-Paxil is NOT something to mess with either....ITS there to HELP YOU! AND......NOT JUST YOU-BUT several of us-POST OP-NEED anti depressants-NOT because we are failures-BUT...because there are SO MANY CHANGES! SO MANY-and some of us just need that extra help...I remember sitting in my last class pre-op and Natalie (nurse and manager) said that 50%-50% of ALL POST OP PATIENTS END UP DEPRESSED-50%!!!! HOLY COW, I Thought-WHO could POSSIBLY get depressed when they are getting their lives back and for me, its something I wanted ALL OF MY LIFE-the possibility of being what I considered "normal"....HOW can someone get depressed-CRAP... Shoulda known better to think that!!!! So-you will more than likely not need it forever-but it let it help you out-just for a bit longer-until your leveled out!!!
If I lived closer to you-Man, I WOULD be your walking buddy-in a heartbeat!!! You wouldnt be able to get rid of me!! LOL.....Im sorry. I sure wish we lived closer. Actually-I WISH we lived close-like in Arizona or someplace where the weather didnt dictate our pain level like it does! This stinks-I KNOW!
About your knees-have you ever done the series of syn visc (or visk) shots? It gives lubrication/padding between the bones-like a shock absorber? I did them-in both knees and the first 2 sets (3 shots each-either every 2 weeks or once a month, I cant remember now) but the first 2 sets worked. Eligible for them every 6 months....they worked great-and I had relief until it was time to have it done again! The 3rd set...didnt do crap-and than I was told it was just too far gone-BUT....Its worth a shot-and IF they work for you-you WILL get relief-within a couple of days of the first shot-Talk to an ortho OR get your PCP to send you to one-and get that shot-in both knees and see if it helps-it CANT hurt....well, unless you have allergic reaction to eggs-LOL...they will go over that with you, tho.
Its HARD to like yourself when your hurting and grouchy. Its hard to live when you hurt so bad. Its hard to function and your brain is tired. Your tired. Life is a struggle. I know it-BUT....Deb, I know you well enough already, to know that YOU FOUGHT FOR YOUR LIFE! Look-JUST LOOK at what YOU have overcome? My God, girl-YOU HAVE FOUGHT FOR YOUR LIFE....DONT YOU DARE GIVE UP NOW! Your ALMOST THERE! So, right now, your down-on the ground, AND your dirty, and your wings, they are tired....as our wings get when they take one hit, after another, after another-BUT....I am here to help you mend those wings, (along with so many others on here) to lift you off the ground, to shake some of that dirt off-AND help you stand TALL....YOU CAN and YOU WILL, PULL YOURSELF UP BY THE BOOTSTRINGS AND SHAKE SOME BOOTY! YOUR NOT GOING DOWN ON "MY" TIME-WITHOUT A FIGHT!!! Now-my wings arent as sturdy right now as Id like them to be-so it may be a slow rising (LOL) BUT....This point is: Together-WE CAN and WE WILL-RISE to the occasion-RISE above-GET better AND be all the better for it...Im speaking from experience and "I" NEED you-as much as you NEED us! OK?
Heck-Im sorry, but look at all we have survived already? The abuses, addictions, abuses, losses, the list is way too long to list-and if we can survive that-mentally-we CAN survive this-and WHEN we need each other-OR the inspiration, there is NOTHING wrong with getting on and saying...I need you guys. Some of us are too far away to do more than pray-but I will take those prayers and I will do what I need to do-and so will you! You have a beautiful little girl-WHO NEEDS HER MOMMA-and thats YOU! She NEEDS YOU-to help her grow and become the kind of young lady you know she can be! BECAUSE OF YOU! You have so much to live for-you have so much going for you-things are just cloudy right now-but they WILL become clear and you WILL know what you need to do! You can AND YOU WILL do it-and this will all become a bad memory, but one that you will most definitely look back on one day and be able to witness to someone else!
I have to go now, Megan is bringing the boys home....I have laundry and such and so I have to get off here and TRY to accomplish something today. I dont think my tear ducts can produce any more tears-so I may be okay with getting through today without crying...Hope so anyway... I love you, Deb and if you EVER want to talk-email me or call me. You know how to reach me. Love, Janet
Sorry I haven't posted much lately, but I have been reading your post and by the time I get done reading I didn't feel much like posting. I wish the pain in my side would go away. It hurts really bad if I sit to long.
I've been wondering all this week what to get Tiff for her birthday Sunday, I'm really thinking a nice piece of jewelry or something like that. It's still so hard to believe my baby is going to be 18....it just blows me away.
I got the horrible drain out Thursday thank goodness, I was getting so sick of it, I'm able to do so much more without it, but there's still alot of pain in that area, so I'm hoping I can get rid of it soon so I can get more walking in.
Janet I'm so glad you had a great date last night, it sounded like you had so much fun. I'm just so happy you guy's could get the time alone.
If your able to make it down Sunday the party starts at 2, it's not going to be a huge party thing just a small family thing.
I look so forward to spending sometime with you soon, I have missed you something terrible and need my Janet fix. Love Ya Sis
I hope Everyone has a greatly blessed day.
Love and Hugs
Renee
If He bring's you to it.... He will bring you through it. 
Good Saturday Morning to you all!
Boy oh boy was it good to get HOME! Was not a very good trip to the big city for various reasons but will have to cry on your all shoulders about this traumatic experience!
I decided that I would go into a couple of wig shops as I didn't think I would be anywhere again I could really put some time into doing some research on the subject before I needed it.... so I went to two shops..... the first one the lady was WONDERFUL! I mean she was ever so kind and upbeat we just took a look around and talked about what I was looking for and general information and .... then we got some wigs and I set down in the chair and all of a sudden I bursted out crying tears just streaming down my face! For Pete sake! I was disgusted at my self..... the lady was so very very nice and we talked about how I felt... I dried up the waterworks and we got to work on trying on the wigs.... I was so unhappy I looked SO FAT in all the wigs! I REALLY struggled with it...... I tried on a dozen or so and when I finally found one that I thought I might able to live with I bursted out crying all over again.... that dear lady even sewed "toupee" clips into the wig so it would fit better..... she said I want you to take a break... go to lunch and think about it ..... and if you are ready come back but if you are not then wait awhile and let it settle in..... she was so so so sweet! I am going to send her a card and thank her for all she did for me that day and how incredibly understanding she was! She was GOOD at her job!
So we went to lunch and went to the second shop.....oh my goodness THAT was a disaster! The lady was "rough" she dug her nails into my head each time she put another wig on ..... she was short on patience, she told me in a not very nice tone..... YOU ARE NOT READY YET! I felt AWFUL when I left that shop! The wigs did not fit down at my neck and she told me "they were ok" she did not sell wigs that did not fit and my own hair line was showing right out the bottom!!!!! It did not do very much to help how incredibly bad and FAT I felt! Any way to say it was a rough day was an understatement!
Then with various other situations I was so very very glad to get home! Darn tear is rolling right down my cheek right now! This stinks!
I look at Brenda Nutt and Lana and they look so beautiful in there situations and I looked TERRIBLE! I'm not kidding! By the time I was done crying.... my face was all pink and blotchy.... it was just awful! Maybe I am just too prideful? I don't mind wearing a wig... don't even mind telling anyone I am... I just don't know what was wrong with me? My hair is so thin in the front and hard to fix now that all the wigs looked like I have a big ball of fuzz setting right on my forehead!
Ok I'm done with that for now! ~ha I'm going to set on it a few days and pray on it a bit and see what the Lord will do for me concerning this....
what else can I do?
Let's think about something else......
I sure hope Mimi is having a good time and getting so much out of the meetings she is attending!
Sugar ~ it is good to see you home again! And it will sure be good to see you in November! I'm very excited about getting to see all that will coming that day!!!!
Peggy ~ What a wonderful thing for you to offer to make lunch for us... but with all you are dealing with I think it would be too much for you dear lady! My goodness you have a lot on your plate and then a surgery coming up too! I think that would just be too much stress for you don't you? It would be great fun but we all would all be happy with a restaurant too and it would not be so much trouble and expense for you either.... maybe when I come back for my appointment in the Spring or something like that? What do you think ...... wouldn't a place like Perkins or a restaurant that serves a full menu be ok for each of us? I would dearly LOVE to come to your house but I SURE don't want to put you out that much when you have so much going on..... how incredibly sweet is that are willing though....... do you have a big shopping complex close to you where there is like Bed Bath and Beyond, Marshall's, Micheal's, Borders.... etc close by for a variety of shopping? You know I don't even care much about the shopping or what we eat I'm just so very excited to get to see EVERY one that is able to come!
Oh my goodness you all have come to mean so much to me!
I simply can't wait for Debbie Darl'n to come this week and I can't wait to go get nuts at {{{Deb's}}} and I can't wait to meet Jeanine on the 29th! I'm just so blessed to be able to meet you all!
{{{Deb}}} I got the rest of the things I need to work on your surprise... I will finish up that so I will be ready to come when you tell me the pecans are ready to pick up....... PLEASE don't go out there and pick them up yourself.... Paul and I will do it! Kay? It would be great to meet Laura too if she was available? When I come to get the nuts I will bring my concordance and show you what it is and how to use it. It's real simple. And very very helpful in finding what you want to know about a subject.
Me and my sis are going to Waverly on Tuesday morning to get apples at "Market Day" you pick them out of a bin for like 25 cents a lb..... we have been doing this for the past four or five years.... it's kind of become a tradition with us..... this year I am going to use my peeler, slicer, corer to make sugar free apple butter in my crock pot..... I'm excited about that and I'm going to make a sugar free apple pie and see if Paul likes it? Wonder how much Splenda you use in them?
Jeanine ~ We will have to talk about getting together... when you are up here on the 29th.... it's not that far off you know? I'm just thrilled about this!
Sheila ~ I am praying for you and hoping you are getting along without too much pain..... my goodness 6 pins! I'm so sorry that happened to you!
Renee ~ I'm thinking of you and praying all is getting a bit better each day! Love you dear lady.... you will have to let me know when other of your appointments are going to be?
Lou ~ you are very welcome for the flowers and I'm glad you are enjoying them.... I love fall colors and enjoy making the arrangements, the spring flowers are my favorite.
Brenda and Dennis ~ oh my goodness you both are in my prayers too... I will be asking the Lord to minister to you both in a very special way! I know He will meet your needs. Hang in there He knows right where you are at!
Andy ~ It does my heart good to know you are doing better and Susan too.... I am fully expecting at some point in the future that you both will look back and be so happy for how far you have come!
Tammy~Ammy ~ I am praying that this surgery will work out and you will have it all done and healed up in no time... will be praying about the appt. you have coming up.... I sure hope you are able to get your group started back up and more people will be able to come.
Shannon "Sandy" ~ Say how much Splenda do you put in your apple pies? Will you go to your son's for Thanksgiving? I hope it works out for you to stop by and visit with me.... I don't think I will be going anywhere around that time... at least not that I know of now.....
Barbara ~ such sound advise you give others.... I pray you are blessed for that!
Bev in Witchita ~ WHAT BEAUTIFUL pics you posted! I LOVE your new hair cut.... it looks very nice on you! Seems like a much fuller cut. I can only imagine you are so pleased!
Vesta ~ Thank you for thinking of me! I'm doing right fine! I am still having pain in my tummy but I think it is getting better ..... I am only taking the pain meds just when I walk and I am walking the whole hour at one time so I only have to take it once a day. I'm trying to make it thru the rest of the time without it. You are so sweet to think about me! I just LOVE you!
Sangie ~ I will be excited to hear how your meeting went and how many were able to come... I'm sure hoping it goes well.
Lynette ~ I didn't see how you were doing when I read thru the posts... I sure hope it is well.
I know someone was approved but I can't remember who it was but I am VERY VERY happy for you! I know how so incredibly EXCITED I was when I found out I was approved. It was lot's more exciting than even the day I got my date!
Angy,Cor, Blondie, Penni Lori, Liz, Jen, Layla, Bev in Sedalia.... I'm thinking of you all and praying all is well with each of you.... I'm sorry if I forgot anyone.... blessing to each of you as well......
Well I have more things to do on my list than I could even begin to get done in days so I better get on it..... I've enjoyed my coffee with you this morning and now have to concentrate on the many many projects I have going or need to get started.
Have a wonderful afternoon!
bec
