I'M LOSING IT!!

HI ALL, I'M BACK AGAIN...WITH YET ANOTHER PROBLEM. I HAVE NO ONE TO GO TO THAT WILL UNDERSTAND AND I'M ASHAMED OF WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING, WHICH IS EATING ALL DAY. I'M 5 WEEKS POST OP RNY. I HAVE BEEN HAVING PROBLEMS LATELY WITH PAIN, EATING/DRINKING, TODAY I'VE BEEN FEELING BETTER. I'VE EATEN ABOUT 8 TIMES TODAY. I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN DEPRIVED FOOD FOR 7 WEEKS ( INCLUDING 2 WEEK LIQUID DIET PRE OP) AND EVEN NOW I CANT EAT HOW/ WHAT I REALLY WANT SO THE THINGS THAT I CAN HAVE I'M "OVER INDULGING" I DIDNT THINK THAT WAS POSSIBLE FOR US. I HAVE BEEN WANTING CERTAIN THINGS SINCE THE PRE OP AND POST OP DIET THAT I AM ABLE TO EAT NOW AND I HAVE JUST BEEN IN THE KITCHEN ALL DAY. A PART OF ME WANTS TO EAT LIKE I DID BEFORE RNY ANOTHER PART WANTS TO LIVE OFF PROTEIN DRINKS AND WATER. I KNOW I NEED TO FIND A BALANCE. I'M IN THEREPY JUST HAD A SESSION TODAY (TOLD MY THERAPIST I WAS FINE BESIDES THE PAIN)  BUT BECAUSE I'M STARTING A NEW JOB NEXT WEEK AND CANT MISS ANY DAYS OF MY 2 WEEK TRAINING I CAN T GO BACK FOR 3 WEEKS. I SHOULD ALSO MENTION I'M A RECOVERING DRUG ADDICT AND ALCOHOLIC WITH A SEX ADDICTION. I'M AT A LOSS I FEEL LIKE I'M ABOUT TO LOSE IT HERE AND I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

Wow, how did you get past the physic evel?  No offense there.  I thought I had issues!!  I didn't have the RNY so can't help you there with what your suppose to be eating and what your not suppose to be eating. I wish you luck with this and the new job, congrats for that and I sure someone will come along with the right thing to say to you.  I just wanted you to know that I will be thinking of you and wishing the best.  You might want to look for an over eaters group or AA, I have been to them since I had my surgery because I have issues with food too.  These are usually once a week at night.  AA will let you come to their meetings you just talk about your over eating instead of your over drinking but in your case AA may be just what you need, you could get a sponsor and have someone to call when your feeling like this.  Just an idea, I know my boyfriend goes to AA and I have gone to family night with him and met a young lady that is having food issues.  I hope this helps you but you can go to these meetings every night of the week and some places have 2 meetings a night.  So get out there and get you some help you are not alone in this.
Marylin

THANKS MARILYN, I AM LOOKING INTO SOME MEETINGS HERE IN MY AREA THEY ARE HARD TOO FIND THOUGH AND THATS NOT AN EXCUSE ITS THE TRUTH. I UNDERSTOOD FULLY WHAT I WAS GETTING INTO WHEN I DECIDED TO HAVE THE RNY, BUT ITS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN KNOWING FIRE IS HOT AND ACTUALLY GETTING BURNED. AND I WOULD DO IT AGAIN IN A HEARTBEAT.

You have gotten some good advise from Marylin. But, most of all you have come to the best place. I could suggest you write down what you are eating especially the amount. I doubt that you are over eating. The size of your pouch would prevent this. You are probably eating alot of carbs. You might find a project to work on when you are home to keep your mind off food or take a walk even if it just a short walk around the block. You don't have to live off protein drink, if fact, that is what you don't want to do. Protein drinks are just a supplement to what you are eating. You need to eat food along with the protein and water. Don't deprive yourself of a normal eating. Keeping in mind normal means eating like a tithing person Vs a heavy person. I hope this makes sense to you. I want to congratulate you on become a recovering addict. You are fighting alot of demons and are doing better than you are giving yourself credit. Look at the weight you have already lost.


Hang in there and come to the board more often. You struggles will be in our prayers.

THANK YOU FOR RESPONDING, AND I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. I DO HAVE A HOST OF DEMONS AND I WILL CONTINUETO SHAKE EACH ONE OFF ONE BY ONE. I'VE BEEN FIGHTING DEMONS ALL MY LIFE. I SWEAR MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY IS GOING TO MAKE ME A BILLIONAIRE!! :)

Pleezzze first call your doctor.......Start getting your protein and water in, and it should start to help.
 I think it may just be carb withdrawals, carbs are an addiction or they are for me ...like Barb. said  get on the fitday. com (its free) and chart everything you put in your mouth and how much..and sip, sip and walk and sip,some more.   and take all the vitamins...and at this point your protein is very important, are you doing the protein shakes?.... stay with us we will be here for you.....vesta

Hey there, I want to tell you , I went through pretty much the same exact thing!! I felt so deprived and there were so  many things I thought I wanted to eat, I was eating all the time and (i thought) way too much. turns out I wasn't eating nearly as much as I thought I was, it just felt that way to my tiny pouch, it felt the same as I used to when I would just gorge on fatty foods until I was so overstuffed and uncomfortable. Well when I starting paying attention to actually how much food I was really consuming, well it wasn't much at all, I could not even eat a half of a p.nut butter sandwich. The only thing I really worry about overeating now at this point 6 mo's out is carbs...yes the gosh danged carbs!!!when nothing else feels good and settled in the pouch, the carbs just go down waaaayyyy to danged easy, cheesits, chips, all the nasty things that helped get us fat in the first place. I do not eat any real sugar at all (splenda is a very good friend) I have never dumped yet, and don't want to find out if sugar will do it, but I know once I take that first bite of pastry and it sits well, I will go back and undo everything i've lost, STAY AWAY FROM SUGAR! what i've done about the carbs is count them out, no more than one "serving" in a day of "bad" carbs that means if 20 cheesits is a serving and I want to give up the rest of the carbs for the day, 20 cheesits is what I count out and that's it!! no more! I don't know how your doing with the protein ,but if you make yourself get in all the protein your supposed to, I swear you will be too full to feel like overeating, i absolutely promise that, money back guarantee lol lol. About the other issues , how can your therapist help, if you are not honest with him or her? there is no point in wasting time or money going if it's not going to help. Please next appt go and tell everything, you have taken a huge brave step by going to a therapist, you obviously need help as I think probably most people who are obese enough to need surgery do, most just don't admit it, there is usually a deep dark hurt that causes (women at least) to lose ourselves in food, it's called self medicating, and it eases our pain and isolates us from people (usually men) who might hurt us. I have admiration for you that you hve taken steps twoards healing , come on here and vent, cry,scream, people here are so friendly and warm, you are sure to get a calorie free pick me up from someone when you need it. best wishes, susan

THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR RESPONSE THERE IS ALOT OF TRUTH IN IT. I DONT HAVE TOO MUCH OF A PROBLEM WITH SUGAR ( BEEN USING SPLENDA SINCE 2003) I GREW UP ON SUGAR/SALT SUBSTITUTES, DIET POP, BAKED MEAT ETC...I LOOK BACK TODAY AND REALIZE THAT I WASNT EATING ALOT OF FOOD ( HOW CAN I?):) I JUST ATE ALOT OF TIMES, MAYBE 6 WHICH IS WHAT MY DOC TOLD ME TO DO BUT I'VE BEEN SO SICK LATELY I'VE ONLY BEEN EATING 2 OR 3 TIMES A DAY AND YESTERDAY WHEN I ATE 6 TIMES I WAS LIKE "OMG, I'M A PIG AND I'M GONNA GAIN ALL THE WEIGHT BACK!" I HAVE BEEN GETTING ALL MY PROTEIN AND WATER IN ALSO. I WAS JUST HAVING A BAD DAY. QUITTING DRINKING AND DRUGGING HAS NOT BEEN A PROBLEM. THEY HAVE ME ON VICODIN, BACK IN THE DAY I WOULD HAVE GONE THROUGH THE WHOLE BOTTLE IN 2 DAYS, THIS LASTS ABOUT 8 DAYS AND I'M NOT TEMPTED TO TAKE MORE THAN I SHOULD AND VICODIN WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO HIGH OFF OF.  I AM STILL TRYING TO QUIT SMOKING DOWN TO ABOUT 5 A DAY THAT I CAN NEVER FINISH A WHOLE ONE, FROM A PACK AND A HALF. I'M USING CHANTIX.

You know I forgot to mention this, but you are supposed to eat around a 1000 calores a day, that seems like a whole lot , but remember we only absorb about half of what we eat. Quit beating yourself up, at 5 weeks out it would be nearly impossible to overeat yourself, especially if you are getting in all your protein and fluids, there are just not enough hours in the day to eat that much! I am impressed with the smoking, My hubby quit a couple of years ago, and say's that smoking is harder to give up than heroin (no he never used, the dr. told us that) I just bet your emotions are all over the place, giving up smoking, (most ) food, most drugs, a new job...goodness I will read your biography for sure, sounds like a bestseller to me !! let us know how the new job is going, maybe it will open up a whole new chapter in your life, make way to new friends and a chance to start over, good luck.

THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR TAKING TIME TO RESPOND TO ME, YOU DONT KNOW HOW MUCH IT HELPS :)