WHATS HAPPENING WEDNESDAY
Well im working my little butt off this morning. Lol Got out and went for a walk with Andy this morning , I told him that if he walks while im gone to be really careful and try to get Susan to walk with him so he don’t have to go alone…
We set up the tent that Andy is loaning us…so it would get aired out…
Washing clothes, packing clothes. Put stuff in take stuff out. don’t need all of that. Undo it and do it again lol
Im packing small zip lock back with protein and splenda in them….i told Joe that if I cant figure it out any other way I will use it in Coffee 3 times a day. be nice and warm and get me going that way…I hate eating out that much cause you never know how stuff was prepared. I buy something and take one bite and tell Joe you can have this if you want cause it has either too much sugar, too much fat, too much grease, or something in it that my little tummy says WHOA!!!!! That stuff aint comeing in here…and if I force it , well that is another issue all together. My tummy is very very picky about what I put in there. Even something as simple as scrambled eggs well just say they have to be made a really really special way and most kitchens don’t do it. Lol
But you know that even with all the pickeyness and stuff I LOVE MY RNY!!!
l tried to load the trailer , good grief. We need a bigger trailer lol
Go buy another trailer Joe !!!!
Good news the second shot is giving him relief from the pain…that is really good if it does like it should he shouldn’t be hurting at all before he has the 3 shot…and that one will last a year. I wonder how long he can keep doing this? I just don’t want him having back surgery unless there is no other way around it…
My pain in my kidney area is less this morning. I bought some meds from the health food place , forgot its name right now and have increased my Echeniaca to 6 instead of 3 also bought some organic cranberry juice and have been drinking that too. It is feeling so much better and if I can beat it with out antibiotics I will be a happy camper.
So today im drinking lots and lots of water and protein drinks and taking the meds yeah!!! That’s the good life ….lol
Jennifer we have missed you hope to see you back at the support meetings. And I love that horse . he is beautiful…how is this second band doing….i met a lady the other day that had lap band surgery 3 years ago and has had to have it replaced 3 times…so is now trying to get the RNY done. I told her about yours and she said that her last one just broke the first one just wouldn’t inflate and the second one caused her to break out in hives. I though I don’t think I would have been brave enough to have the 3 rd one do you? Hope this one works for you….
SUZIE:::: if you come to the meeting on the 27th will dig up some mimosa trees for you , they will wilt no matter how quickly I put them in a pot tho so might be better to keep them in pots till next spring….I grew a really nice sized one for my mom in a 5 gal bucket from seeds. I can bring you all the mimosa seeds you want.
Lori::: There are some protein drink somewhere that you will be able to tolerate. And the ones that you don’t like now with the bad gall bladder may be one of the ones that you like later.
Like I told you in another post , you cant compare yourself to anyone else…everyones body is different. Me I don’t lose fast either. I never had a huge bunch of weight fall off really quick but was steady and sure …..i still am not to goal but that is for someone your age and all and someone my age doesn’t need to be that skinny . lol or at least all of that is what I tell myself. Lol
JANET::::: WOW what a post today, Im like Deb maybe we need to start readying your post with a box of kleenix in our hands.
You know I think you aren’t nearly as different as you think you are. I was a grumpy person when I was fat too. I didn’t let others get close to me. I could smile and talk to them but when it came to letting anyone in close I didn’t want to do it. And didn’t.
I have probably lost a lot of really potentially good friendships because of that. Never believed them if they did act like they liked me, it was always because they wanted something. That was what I thought anyway.
I think a lot of all of that goes way way back to more than just being fat…I think the fat was another symptom of the all of it….I think if we ask a poll where no one had to reveal their name or who they were, we could ask how many formerly fat people were abused as Children, either sexually, mentally or physically and you would get a big response of the majority would be yes they had been, food became our friend in more ways than one. It was the only person that didn’t try to hurt us. Always made you feel good and was in enough supply for us….sounds like im talking about addiction doesn’t it? And yes even as a child that was what we were food addicts….so sad…I hope that if anyone sees their child starting to do all the things we use to do that they get them help…
Most of the time it isnt just a food addiction out of nowhere. But stems from something else ….
Of course we are still addicts but we have the power to break that addiction now. Praise God.
I think you are right that the soul is probably more of a transformation than what people see on the outside even….When you come to a support meeting it is like oh boy here is so and so , and everyone runs to hug her or him…lol we have become hug addicts now lol not such a bad addiction do you think?
I am praying about little John, bless his heart , death is a hard thing to deal with when you are an adult with someone you love ,let alone when you are a child and everything is so literal. Like Mama says that God answers all your prayers so we need to pray and tell God everything. Just like his pray for God to return Grandpa. His mind cant get that but he will they are pretty smart and learn just don’t let him think that God only answers some prayers. Pray and think about it I know you will come up with a good answer for him so he can understand. …raising smart kids is very hard isnt it?
I am praying for all of your kids. And hope that all turns out ok in their lives…I know they will with you for a mom and Mike for a dad. You are very good parents so don’t doubt that for a minute.
Oh Michele is so happy and excited about her job , getting that back, she loved that job and all the stress that went with it but when the stress at home got to be so overpowering she blew it. She told me that she is going to bible study with her boss Wednesday night.
Wow!!! When God starts moving you better stand back and keep your nose out of it lol
Sugar will be back Thursday I think. She called me the other night and wanted to know how everyone was….i gave her a quick report. She is like me she cant get you all out of her mind lol
SHERR:::: I will be so happy when you find out what is wrong with your poor tummy and can get it all fixed up….hey you didn’t tell us that you had met another guy , already? Well don’t get too close too fast…..test him lots of ways ..over and over. If he is worth his salt he will come thru with flying colors if not you will see little cracks here and there. Lol
Sure wish there was someone in that area that could go to
RENEE:::::well sounds like you need a babysitter , falling like that. Better watch it the next thing we hear will be fell off the porch and broke your arm or something.
What kind of doggies do you have that you want to give away. Just mutts?
Hey Ill take Peanuts if you ever don’t want her…
You know I will and would be really upset with you if you gave her to someone else.
I have hated that I gave her away lots of times.
Yeah on the 19 pounds lost wow that is super good….in one week that is amazing. The walking really does good doesn’t it?
You are treated like a princess because you are.. and we all love you .
Hope you will be at the support meeting on the 27th…wow by then you may have lost 50 pounds lol
Are you getting really tired and not having much energy? You should be getting more and more every day.
Yes Michele said last night to me that she felt like she was on the biggest high she had ever been on. Lol
She got the job back that she just loved, now tell me that God didn’t have something to do with that. She quit there 8 months ago…and not on very good terms..
But it was like she had never went away , God is so funny sometimes.
Way to go girl….keep it fresh.
Everything I can find about how to gain weight is to add more good carbs and more protein. But I don’t think you look bad like you are .
BEC::::: so where are you going this week? Hope you enjoy yourself. And thanks for praying for us to have a good time. This Christian Motorcycle Ass. Ralley is like a big tent ralley…if any of you remember them from years ago. Services in the morning and night. And then there are bike games , bike rides etc etc. we go one moring after church to the nursing home in Mena. And give any of them that want to ride , rides so much fun.
There is a pancake breakfast in Mena one day that pays for extra things for a boys and girls ranch.
Parades thru town one in day time and one at night, that is when our trike with all of its lights will shine lol
You know what you were talking about is what I am always talking about and that is turning everything in your life over to God….that doesn’t mean you have no backbone but it is hard to let God do all of his will in your life. Some of the things we hold on to is so petty and little ….Thats ok God I can do this myself….it isnt that you cant it is just an area that you maybe need to surrender to God.
Im like you that to God if it concerns you there are no little things. Bless you for saying it so well. Im not a preacher lol well some would disagree about that lol
A concordance is the best thing anyone can buy for them selves if they are really interested in studying the word of God….makes it so much easier.
A personal relationship with God is so amazing. And the thing that everyone should try to obtain
Anytime you are around and you want to ride on that Trike you just jump yourself on there for sure…Joe will love to take you for a ride. It is so much fun.
We will be waiting for you to get back .
…
I SEE a lot of people have been getting things from their secret santa. I have gotten some pretty e cards and sorry I haven’t said anything about them on here. Or I may have you
Well guess I better get a little sleep while I can , they brought my cpap machine today so tonight starts my journey …..i found out today from this guy that the doctors said I stopped breathing 30 times in an hour , gosh no wonder I wake up tired….that is like every two minutes im awake even if I don’t really remember it. Lord have mercy. They didn’t have to sit if but up to 6 to keep my path way open so that is good. But he did say that having that many episoids an hour he doubted that it would ever be off of the machine. Oh well if it helps me to feel better it is worth it ….
Love and hugs all
GOD BLESS.
WILL CHECK IN AGAIN TOMORROW EVENING. VIA WIFI AND LAPTOP LOL
HOPEFULLY PICTURES TOO.
http://community.webshots.com/user/mimicook?vhost=community
GOD BLESS YOU TODAY
JAN COOK
Gail just left for work @5 a.m and as i was standing on the porch with him freezing to death ,it started pouring rain, Sheesh i'm never gonna survive the winter, I am so cold all the time,I'm seting here in a insulated flannel shirt along with my thermal jammies,socks and wishing i had eat muffs,and could type with gloves on LOL.
My legs and back are kiling me this morning,I hate hurting everyday, 1 more day and i go to the pai clinic.Sure hope they figure out something to make it all stop. It makes me angry that i went through this surgery to better my health and life,Then the back and leg pain still stops me from doing things i wanna do.I push myself to get the basic things done ,cleaning house,laundry all the usual stuff,Then i make myself walk the walk every morning, Well unless it is really cold and wet,Then i don't go.
Hope you have great fun on your trip and that you don't get wet.
I had to ground Nikki yesterday for lieing to me,Broke her heart,She said now you don't Love me.Omg that broke my heart I so wanted to just unground her But knew i had to stick with it, I just tried to reassure her that I do Love her ,Always will Love her no matter what she does,But she can't lie and not get in trouble. But i still feel like a horrable Mom for breaking her heart and making her feel that way.
But i know i must be doing something riht.Because when she went with me to sell Chili supper tickets,This one Ladies house we stopped at donated money,She had just got out of the hospital and as we were leaving Nikki told her I will pray for you at Church, Made me a very proud Momma, I just Love her to peices.
Bec- Hope you have a great time on your trip and I hope your pain is better so you can enjoy yourself, Yes you have my curiosity peeked, I'm worse than a kid when it comes to getting suprises LOL. You are such a wonderful person and i know that God has a very special place prepared for you in heaven. Won't it be great when we finally get to meet him and see him face to face?
Renee--- I think we are all gonna have to chip in and buy you a set of knee,elbow and maybe even a protective body suit, LOL. Hope you are ok and didn't hurt yourself to bad, Hope you find a good home for your doggies.
Jeanie-- Welcome home. Sure have missed you. Now you need to take care of you and get some rest.
Janet-- Hope you're feling better today, And i have set a box of kleenex next to computer LOL. Like i told Bec you are a wonderful person and I know God has a special place ready for you in heaven also.With all you go through and still you are there for everyone else.
I think Jan is right about some of the reasons about our childhoods, At least i know it is true for me.
I pray that your family has peace of mind and that the Lord will get you all through this tough time.
You're a wonderful mom You're children are so lucky,and i know you're gonna say you're the lucky one. And that is true also. But they are very blessed to have you.And i bet Mike is very proud to have you as his wife,You're amazing woman.
To everyone else I hope all is feeling great and you all have a blessed day. Always remember to smile Makes people wonder what yur up too LOL. Now if i could only follow my own advice LOL.
Welcome to all the newbies and to those who have came back,Keep on posting and shareing with us,We will be here to listen and help if we can.
Lots of Love and {{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}} DEB
HUGS, HUGS, HUGS, HUGS, HUGS, HUGS, HUGS, HUGS, HUGS, HUGS!!!!!!!!
Whew OMG did that felt good!!!
I missed you all so very much, I wish I could tell you have often I thought about you all, way to many to even count!! My mom would ask me a few times what I was thinking about and the answer would almost always be you guys, she said wow Jeanine you sure do love them don't you? Whoa tears again just now just like when she asked, I wish there was a way to tell you all what you mean to me, not sure love is a strong enough word!!
Darn-it this honestly was gonna be a happy post but I gotta get this outta the way while I am already crying I guess.
Janet when I read your post and then Deb and Jan's this morning, all I could do was cry. First let me start by saying I TRULY believe with all my heart you are three of the MOST amazing woman I have EVER been blessed to know !!!! I could feel a lot of pain in your posts and the thought of any of you being hurt just rips my heart out!! You ladies are so right many if not all of the precious people on this board are scarred and we have worn those scars for all to see in the weight we all have carried! In my case I always let everyone in it seemed I wanted to save the world, still wish I could, this caused me to be used and abused a lot over the years too. I just PRAY that God will polish me and use me like he has you ladies, change me from a scared lump of coal into a BEAUTIFUL diamond like you have become!!!
I want to thank each and EVERY man and woman on this board for sharing their hopes, dreams, sorrows, fears, pasts and presents with all of us!! Your testimonies show us that if we believe, if we work,if we PRAY, if we trust, if we share, if we give, if we love, we get sooo much more back in return!! Thank you all so much for each smile, each tear, each story and most of all for just being who you REALLY are, you guys have no idea how much you all have helped me and countless others!!! God is still polishing us all and not all of that is without pain sadly but oh my the rewards and the gems he produces, how very blessed I am to know all of you gems!!!!
Bec Thank you and all the other folks who stood up for prayers!! I praying for anyone that may be offended by praying for each other!! I am so very lucky I was born into a christian family and have witnessed all my life the miracles that people of faith can call upon God for when they gather in numbers on their knees. I bet the person who sent that note is a prayer and doesn't even know it, you know the old saying there are no atheist in a fox hole, when we get in trouble we always say OH GOD!! I am happy to see that most on this board pray without ceasing in good times and in bad, remember to be thankful for blessing and answered prays. God doesn't just want us to ask for prayer from other or even pray to him just when we need him. I always feel so guilty when I pray I start out thinking I need to ask God for this or that, I get so busy praying for the people i know that need them or thanking him for the blessing he has given me and soon I forget what I even wanted for myself so I am extra grateful I have the prayer warriors on this board to pray for me!! Thank you!!!!
Jan and Bec I hope you have wonderful trips!! be careful and come home to us safe, rested and happy!!
Deb you keep warm my sweet pooh bear!!! I am proud of you for sticking with the restriction for Nikki, I know it was hard!! My mom used to say it was her job to raise us the right way because not everyone in this world would love us the way she did when we were wrong. I think about my best friend growing up she got to do everything, all the parties etc. not me my mom would say do I know their parents, well no mom its why i wanna go LOL then the answer was always no. My friends family were Christians to they went to the same church as we did,they loved her but not enough to say no. the year after we finished high school, 2 days after my granny died she was killed in a car accident drunk. I can still remember going to her house with my mom and seeing her folks. Her mom was screaming my baby my baby, my mom hugged her and said OH Jane i am so sorry, I can not imagine loosing my baby, Jeanine thinks we are to strict on her but its just because we love her so. My friends dad looked up and said Oh God I wish we had been more strict on Betty Jo maybe she would still be with us. That broke my heart but it made me so thankful I had a mama who loved me enough to say No, thank god Nikki does to!!!
Janet HUGS!!! I wish I had some way to comfort you more in your time of grief, I know it is the hardest thing to go thru. I have lost my Daddy two years ago now and it still feels like yesterday as Deb said. I have lost many people and carry them and their lost with me always but I also carry the blessing of having had them in my life.
I know this year has been hard for you , I can not even imagine going thru all you have sweetie, your polishing has been very painful, but OH THE JEWEL that you are!!!!! Please know how very much you mean to all of us and that you and your family are ALWAYS in our prayers!!! Things will get better, this to as they say will pass, I will pray that the pain begins to get easier to bare soon!!.
Love you sweetie!!! HUGS!! I am here if you need anything, I will do all I can to help in any way I can!!!
Jan I am happy to hear about Michelle doing so well too BTW, God is sooo very good, more prayers answered I promise you i will continue to pray for her!!
Andy HUGS!! I am so happy to hear you are better!! I will pray for you Hun and hope each day gets easier and easier!!!
Renee and Lou HUGS!! Welcome to the bench ladies!!!! I hope you guys are doing wonderfully!!
Renee please take care of you girl, the elevator thing and then the fall sounded soooo scary, PLEASE PLEASE be careful!!!
Sheila OH girl I am sorry to hear about you accident, I am praying for you, you have been thru so much I hope after they fix you up this time you will stay healthy a LONG while and enjoy being back at your old house again!!!
Shanon I am so glad you heard from your daughter!!! Give yourself a Mom hug now and then would ya!! i know it has to be hard knowing those you love will be so far away for so long. You are a strong lady!! HUGS, HUGS I promise to pray for you and HUG you anytime you need it!!!
Lori WOOT, i am sorry to hear you have to have another surgery so soon but I am thrilled it could be the answer to all the prayers and get you on track!!! I will continue to pray for you and your family!!!
I have written two books today and said almost nothing I planned to LOL, I am sure you are tired of reading by now!! I know I have missed many but please KNOW I am praying for you ALL, the posters and the lurkers alike!!!
will catch everyone back up on me more tomorrow LOL for now I need to get busy, I am so behind on everything sigh!!!
B****hank you for all your prayers for my uncle he is settled in a new place so he can get the care he needs, his daughters came to see him while i was there this trip and I think maybe a peace with them is on its way!! He has been a Angel so far and saying all the right things and no drinking at all!!! Please continue to pray for him that God will continue to work on him!!!
BIG HUGS to you all !!!
Jeanine
My husband's 77 year old aunt had rotator cuff surgery a week ago yesterday and since she is single with no children, we were the only ones available to help her. I was pretty much with her every day last week. Her arm has to be immobile so she had to have help with everything. Then to top it off, she has an unsteady gait so she went to answer the phone Friday night and fell! Thank God we were there. She fell on her shoulder and hit her head. We had blood everywhere. Unfortunately, she has had both knees replaced and couldn't get up. We finally called 911 to help get her up and then to get her to the hospital for xrays and staples. She ended up having 8 in her head but the xrays looked clear. We still have to see if she reinjured her shoulder. Needless to say, I'm exhausted. But she's alone, what can we do? I'll be going back over today to do her laundry. She is much better this week, I didn't even have to go over yesterday. But my greatest fear is that she'll fall again with no one there to help her.
I found out a few things about me last week, too. My anemia is getting worse; my hemoglobin and hemocrit numbers are dropping which means I'm losing blood somewhere. So more tests. Then Monday I had gall bladder tests and found out yesterday that I have multiple stones (one is HUGE) and it's only functioning at 30%. So that explains the occasional intense pain and bloating. My surgeon told me yesterday that it's only going to get worse so I will be having surgery on October 31. Yay, another surgery. I told him he is going to run out of body parts soon. He said "You still have a spleen, don't you?". I love his sense of humor. He did my RNY, removed my thyroid and now he'll do my gall bladder. He's also going to watch my anemia and possibly do a scope to see if my pouch is ulcerated. It's always something with me.
I have an idea for those of you planning on coming to KC with Bec in November. Angie had mentioned trying to find a WLS friendly restaurant and I know with our picky pouches and newbies it may be impossible to find one we could all tolerate. Now for my idea...why don't we do lunch here at my house? I know how to cook for us and I know I can come up with several dishes so that everybody could find something yummy to eat. I have a killer Chipotle Pork recipe that is so tender and digestable. I also have lots of good foods for picky pouches. What do you all think? I'm only a few miles off of 71 Hwy. It would give everybody a chance to rest and save some money for the shopping sprees you may have planned. I would dearly love to have you all here and be able to spend a little time getting to know you. Let me know, k? Oh, I have a cat, so if anybody is allergic I will need to know so I can put him downstairs.
Janet....bless your heart. I know that most of us can sympathize with only part of what you are going thru. Thank you for your honesty, it helps know how to pray for you and your family. I'm sure you've heard this before, but is there a Christian counselor you trust? I think you need somebody to talk to who can help you through all of this. I mean, your pain is a burden enough and then you add all of the other issues. You have had almost all of the major stress factors lately. I know, cause I have too and started having seizures because of them. My heart aches for you and I know that you are on overload. Let us know if there is anything we can do for you.
Bec....thank you for the reminder on prayer and sorry I couldn't call yesterday. More doc visits...you understand. One of my favorite verses on prayer is Romans 8:26 where it tells me that the Holy Spirit interprets my groanings. Thank the Lord He knows what I'm crying about and I don't have to be perfect when I pray. (I struggle with perfectionism...it is a bad trait to have...never feel like I'm good enough to pray.) Counseling is beginning to help me deal with some of these lies I have believed all these years. You are such a blessing to me.
Jan...have a great trip. I wish I could see you heading down the road on your trike with 3 or 4 trailers lined up behind you. Too funny. Be safe.
Sheila...thinking of you and your next surgery. Get well, k?
All of you that I can never remember, I read about you all when I can and hope that each of you are doing well. I know some of our new losers are struggling...hang in there. It does get better.
Have a great day, Missouri....I have to get to Aunt Margie's and then to another counseling appointment.
Peggy
I just got home from my dr.'s appt. I took in my list of blood work that Margie sent me several weeks ago for all my vitamin levels well, I screwed it up. I didn't read it and you have to fast for 12 hrs. and not take your vit. for 48 hrs. Anyway my dr. ordered the test I will just have to wait until Mon. to do it. I am going to KC tomorrow night so I can't do it Fri. I got my b12 shot and a flu shot. My dr. calls me her shrinking patient!
I have to work at the school today, I don't like going in at noon on Wed. because I feel like I'm just thrown into everything that is going on and it seems more hectic on Wed. because of that. I like my other 2 full days.
I am going to go have my nails done after work today. I need to have my eyebrows done too not sure where to have that done at not to mention I hate that! I think when I go to KC I'm going to have a makeover at the Bare Minerals store. I wear that already but I think I bought the wrong color of foundation powder so I want to check that out. I guess I just feel in the pampering mood lately?
I really like my kymaro body shaper I think I want to order another one. I didn't get the black one that they offered as a special cause I wasn't sure how I would like this now I wish I would have ordered the black one so I could have gotten it at the discounted price.
Well, guess I better eat something and get ready for work take care everyone and have a wonderful Wed.
Good Morning Jan & OH Peeps~
Let me say before I start my post that we need to remember our girl, Sheila today, as she is having her surgery to correct her collar bone or bones-not sure if its one side or both! Her surgery is at noon and I told her to have her DIL, Rachael, text me so I could get on and post. I may have to text Renee or Tammy Ammy to post for me, but thats okay-they will. So-will update ya when I hear something-lets pray for a safe surgery and speedy and UNEVENTFUL recovery!!! Sheila-if you read this before you leave out-LOVE YOU GIRL!
Oh man-I sat and read yesterdays responses to me, and then Deb (Poohs) from today and bawled like a baby! Still crying. I KNOW-I KNOW-I KNOW-ITS ALL YOUR PRAYERS that are carrying me right now. I sure DO NOT deserve the love and compliments you all give me. I do NOT even come close to feeling like the person you all describe me as-as complimentary as you are. I dont feel amazing, I dont feel all of the good things you all say about me. Maybe its because right now I am at a -not so good place?- I am so angry today. I have been since last night. Let me tell you-those that think I am this little angel person-woman-friend...you may change your mind when you find out what I am about to post.
First-Mike and I called his aunt to check on her and Grandma. She is in denial, and is waiting for dad to call her-as he does every single day when he is in the hospital. Then, she wanted to go up to the hospital to visit before visiting hours were over. She went to the mortuary with Sis-and still doesnt comprehend. My heart is just breaking for them. When Mike found out dad died on a ventilator (not life support as he had a DNR, but, ventilator is one step from that.....he finally broke down. Dropped the phone on the floor and he was out the front door before I knew what happened. I grab the phone-and now sissy is crying. Now I am crying. She has been in the hospital herself (she is terminal with cancer) and she was so sick that the last week of dads life-she did not make it up to see him....and is upset that she didnt make herself. (why do we do this to ourselves?) so, I am TRYING to comfort her and my phone keeps beeping-its my ex. 4 times he calls me, in a row. WTH? He NEVER calls-cause he knows I will NOT talk to him. Before I hang up with Sissy-she tells me that she is having a big problem with Mikes sister AND his biological mom, Sue-Sue wants Sissy to split dads ashes-and not for Mikes sister-but for Mikes neice (who is the biggest B word you ever met-and at 14-talks like a sailor, calls her grandma names I havent ever heard come out of a childs mouth and so on and so forth-she NEEDS to be put over someones knee and get her rear busted!!!) ANYHOO.... Sis told Sue NO WAY-that is NOT what MY BROTHER wanted! Im NOT doing that....so now, Sue is going to Arizona-because she is going to have it HER WAY....Oh, but Sue-your NOT! So-Mike is going to be flying out to Arizona either this weekend or next weekend, whenever Sue is there. Mike is very, very upset. Anyway-on with it...his sister calls Sis yesterday and tells Sis that she wants Sis to go to dads bank and clean out his account and since Michael is getting the ashes, she wants the rest of dads personal belongings-and that she will hold this up in court if she has to!! OMG-ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You live 2 freaking hours from dad and havent seen him in 4 yrs-AND....ONLY went out in July, because Mike and his family were coming to visit from MO.....WTH? So-Sis has POA, and Mike is the oldest and he was next in line-in the paperwork to make any decisions regarding dad, should Sis become decapacitated (is that the right word for it? In the event Sis could NOT take care of things-then Mike would-he signed the papers in July when we were there)...Ok-so Mike says that the money should go to help with mortuary costs-OR to help Grandma make her bills-because they lived together and thats what dad would want! WHY are people so greedy? Its not like a urn of ashes is going to net us a million dollars-its our DEAD DAD! NOT A MILLION DOLLARS! Its HIS dying wish! Who the hell cares who gets a little bit of money thats not going to purchase a car, pay off a house OR even pay for a nice vacation-he didnt have much! She also said that she would like dads van! Give me a break!~ What you (his sister) and her lazy ass husband ARE going to get-is our feet in their ass's! They havent worked a day since Ive known them-but they keep spitting out kids-AND, I would rather have Darrels biological womb in my life-than Mikes sister-she is just pure white trash and her husband, Raul-has kids all over the united states that he doesnt bother to care for! I think he married Mikes sister to get his green card and nothing more! So.....needless to say-Mike didnt know a lot of this because he was outside-walking-and when he came in-I didnt tell him all of it yet...... So-on with this story.....Eric (my ex) keeps right on calling. There is 3 voice mails from him already and so I tell Sis I have to go-figured it was about Stephanie. I listen to the voice mails and then..... It happened. I think I may have blacked out I was so mad. When Mike got back in the house, I told him that I had to go get Molly (my new dog)-she had been with Megan until Melanie could get take Mollys stitches out........which-I wasnt lying-I DID have to pick up Molly, BUT.....I was taking care of Eric first. That JERK called and accused me of sitting in the apartment at the motel and not letting, get this-HIS DAUGHTER come in and get her clothes. I have MY daughter, and HE has HIS DAUGHTER and I had better STOP playing games with them and so on and so forth, because I wasnt going to like it IF he HAD to get riled up....Oh SA~NAP~ You have NO IDEA, Eric-how much your threat is going to come back to haunt you in about 10 minutes.
Stephanie had called on Monday night and told Aaron that she would be over last night to get the rest of her things from Grandmas. Aaron forgot to tell my mom. My parents went to dinner with family that was here from IA visiting my dad-his cousins. Hasnt seen them in years. Anyway-they were at dinner when Steph got there to get her things WITH ERIC and Aunt Sandi. Well-she got in Megans face again when Megan said that they didnt have a key (there is NO master key OR key in the office whatsoever for the managers motel-NEVER has been!) so.......Aaron gets between them-and as a good husband and daddy-to-be...he tells Stephanie to stay the hell away from Megan and that if she hurts ONE hair on Megans head-that she will deal with HIM....THEN...Eric decides to buck up to Aaron. Aaron is at work (in the office) and no one else is there-and they are nose to nose-and thats when Eric starts calling me-saying that I was sitting next door on my lazy ass laughing and I was a POS because I couldnt do anything for HIS DAUGHTER and, guys-that was IT! I called Eric-and told him that I was in the shower and didnt hear my phone, but if you can wait for 10 minutes, I will let you into my moms apartment for Steph to get her stuff.....Ok-Steph KNOWS I dont live there. The freaking Suburban CANT be missed-and its here NOT THERE-and this TARD is Talking to ME like that? Yeah-I dont think so! So-I get in the Suburban and am heading to the motel.
I call Megan and Aaron. I tell Megan to get to her apartment NOW. I tell Aaron to get behind the desk and to mind his own business and stay there. No ?s. They knew from the tone of my voice that I was NOT happy-but didnt know about the calls I was getting. I pulled in and the look on Eric and Stephanies faces were priceless. I parked under the awning-didnt even bother to park it in a parking place. I get out and Eric comes walking over to me- Hi Jan-I thought you were here????? I slammed him against the Suburban, got nose to nose with him and told him, through my teeth-that IF he didnt QUIT F'N with me-that he wasnt going to need to worry about going to his AIDS doctor anymore! He said-I will call the police-thats okay ***** IF I have to go to jail-I WILL get bailed out and you WONT-so call them!! Call them!!! Come on! Get on the phone-and I slammed his head into the window and every time I said call them, I slammed him against the Suburban! I told him-you will go to jail for felony back child support-been working on it this week AND......I have "saved" your voice mails on my phone-NO cop is going to arrest me-and a few choice words later. Steph is now crying-Mom-what are you doing? Let my dad go. Dont hurt my dad....yadi yadi yadi.....and then she says-this is the kind of crap I had to live with....OMG! I also told him that IF one of his butt buddy cops came out-AND he thought that just having sex with them was going to get ME arrested-that as soon as I tell them that he is HIV/AIDS positive-that they would be p.o'd and he would REALLY PAY THEN!!Then I remember saying-My FIL JUST DIED and I wi**** would have been YOU instead and that the tears started-Thats the last thing I personally remember, but I guess I shoved Sandi away from me...I dont remember that. I dont remember shoving Stephanie off of me, either. I dont remember anything until Aaron had me off the ground, carrying me under my arms into the office, and I was pissed and swinging at him to let me go too.....Eric said-Shes crazy-Im out of here! I did have his hair between my fingers-and they said they were surprised that the window on the Suburban didnt break-me too. Aaron had tears rolling down his face-he said he has never seen me like that......I have never seen me like that-NOT since I was married to that ~~~a long time ago. I took several beatings from him and the day that I decided that I wasnt taking it anymore and fought back-we BOTH went to jail and I spent 20 hrs, with NO bail-because of HIM! Because "I" stuck up for myself for the first time in 10 yrs! I could NOT let MY DAUGHTERS stand there, watching him beat me (they were never around for the other beatings-ever) I wanted them to know that they NEVER had to live like that-and so what happens? The police come-hand cuff ME-in front of my daughters-for fighting back-all because that jerk said that I split his lip open-and the fact of the matter is-altho I would like to take credit for cracking him in the lips-that he went to bite my thumb and I moved it and he bit his own lip and then lied to them....AND he never got cuffed in front of the girls-and wanna know why? I found out when Eric was in one of his "sharing" moods several yrs later-AFTER we were divorced and all-that he had a fling with the officer that took him in his car that day (before that day-but you get what I am saying)....which-I figured that there was SOMETHING going on-because the day I got released-I went to get a cig out of my purse, in the parking lot-and there was a signed complaint-FROM that arresting officer-against ME, folded up nice and neat at the BOTTOM of my purse!.....ON ERICS BEHALF-Eric didnt sign it-Eric didnt tell them to-the arresting officer did it- on the behalf of Joplin.....I promptly turned around, went BACK into the PD, and asked to speak to this officer and he wasnt in, of course. I walked to the prosecuting attorneys office-THEN...to the city attorney and threatened them with a HUGE lawsuit-because of the domestic abuse "I" had documented and the ER visits where I had "fallen" or had "accidents" and one of my docs even listed that he thought it was domestic because of Eric answering all the ?s, but when they ?d me, I didnt admit to it-so-I had it all, and I was gonna use it-guess what? Within an hour-I was called and it was dropped.
So, there you have it. I finally lost my mind. It doesnt feel too good not to remember everything-but I didnt kill him-and so I guess thats a positive-I dont have to deal with police and how to pay a good attorney! I left, without my dog!!! I cant believe I forgot her. Anyway-I got ANOTHER voice mail from him last night (Eric), and your not even gonna believe this-saying, I forgive you, Jan......Im sorry about Mikes dad, I know how close you were to him and I know you were just taking your frustration out on me because your emotionally suffering and so Its okay. There are no hard feelings on MY END-Im sorry you are going through this difficult time and give Mike my love and call me later in the week! Are you freaking kidding me? He actually THINKS that I was busting his butt because of Mikes dad-NOT because HE DESERVES IT? I swear-that WHOLE family-they are MENTAL!
So-there was my messed up evening. I told Megan and Aaron they are to stay away from Stephanie, Eric and the whole clan-all they do is stir crap up and we just dont need anymore of that in our lives. This morning, he has called me AGAIN...and this time, he wants ME to go to the attorneys office and sign paperwork saying that HE has custody of Stephanie (Im TOTALLY ok with that, believe "I" told him to do that MONTHS AGO and he would NOT) AND....that "I" will be paying HIM the sum of $225.00 per month until she is out of school. Guess what Janet ISNT going to sign? Anything stating I will pay that much. As it is-I give her her SSI that she gets due to MY disability-AND...buy ALL of her food, AND give her another $40......during the month for her toiletries and such-so, I have ALL my receipts and such and I have been averaging between $150-200 PER month since she left in May. Thats a lot of money considering that I dont get much during the month, I give her 1/3 of MY money every single month! Kiss my rear, Eric-Im NOT paying YOU that much-NO WAY, NO HOW! I ONLY bought her food because she has been living with his sister, his mom and then my mom and they all have their own bills and expenses and I didnt ever want it to be a financial burden on THEM....they were doing ME a favor as well as Stephanie. I wanted them ALL to know they could count on ME to help them financially-although it wouldnt be much-she is picky-and her "food" costs enough to make a huge difference here-I know it would impact them-just milk alone-she can drink a gallon a day IF she could get away with it. Milks too expensive-So I bought 2 gallons A WEEK-for HER alone-and she was told to MAKE it last-that is ALL your getting for the week. I thought that was fair. I bought 20 yogurts a week....Yoplait-ONLY kind she would eat-her green tea-you name it-"I" bought it.....
Well, I have to get this done and get out of here. Have some errands to run and am going to child support enforcement AGAIN today and I am staying there until I have an answer. I spoke to them yesterday morning and they were to get back with me yesterday and so far-NOTHING! SO-Im stopping AGAIN....today.
**Jan-the vision of you packing that trailor made me smile every time I thought about it. Wish Joe would have taped it somehow!! LOL....Im so glad that his back is better. So glad your kidneys are better-so glad your gonna have a WONDERFUL TRIP and a wonderful TIME!!! Take pictures, PLEASE... I am praying for travelers mercy and for wonderful weather for you guys...IF you cant get on line, I will do my best to post for you, ok? Someone will-so dont you worry IF you cant!
Praise God again for the changes in Micheles life! How wonderful that her boss will be doing Bible study with her!!! Baby circle dancing for sure!
Jan, thanks for the response. I know a lot of what your saying is right on, but I guess I never realized how many of us did that pre-op. I dont even WANT to be that angry person, ever again! The love I feel from you guys-it is overwhelming, for sure! I cant even tell you how my heart just burst with the loved feelings being poured out for me-even from people that I have never met OR thought didnt really particularly care for me, you know? Its all so overwhelming to me. Its a good overwhelming though-and Im really not all that used to it. I cant believe how many people responded to me-that had my back-they were in MY corner....its really just been an eye opener-and once again-God has shown me some things. I am praying for my unhappy person who sent me the PM, that God will show her what praying IS all about-I guess she will have to either start skipping my posts, or belong to another board. I dont know. Ive been a part of this board long enough to feel attached to several people-I know I am-because I think of all of you when I am doing other things, driving, whatever-so Im NOT going anywhere and now I know I dont have to change HOW I post for prayer or HOW I post period.
Have a good time, honey-Love you BOTH!!! Take pics!
**Jeanine-WELCOME BACK!!! How are you, sweety? We sure have missed you!!! Cant wait to see some more postings from you....When is your date? Do you have an angel yet? Love you and have been praying for you, your uncle and your whole family.
**Deb (pooh)-I cant even read one of YOUR posts without being amazed at how much we have in common! It IS like reading an insert from MY journal! If your birthday is December 26th 1967-Im gonna faint!
Im glad that you feel Im worthy to let in as far as a g/f goes. Sweety-I ALWAYS have had MORE best guy friends all my life-they didnt seem competitive and all that junk! I have NEVER been the snooty type-I have NEVER been a liar, a thief, backstabber (IF I will say it to you, or Jan, Renee, Bec, Lana -you get the pic-then I WILL say it to someones face...without a doubt) or any of that crap-I say it like I see it. I am just ME....I dont WANT to do things JUST because everyone is....Thats NEVER been me! I cannot stand some of the women I worked with-when my hubby would come to visit me at work-they would literally FIND a reason to walk past us-and literally, I could see them looking at his rear. Now, I KNOW he is good looking-trust me, we were bestest buddies before we were ever involved-and from day 1, I thought he was one of the best looking guys I had ever met-BUT....he was too skinny....AND I ALWAYS thought he was way too cute to be with ME....(big Janet talking there) AND....that his women would have to be Barbies-because he was so perfect! Funny, huh? I have had women, right to MY face-IN front of Mike-say that when your done with her-call me. OR-what is it that little guys see in big women? OMG! How humiliating is that? Mike would always come back with smart alec remark that they were just jelous that they would NEVER be as beautiful as ME-and that he had the best-he wouldnt be calling anyone! (love that man so much!) I have never been the type that my purse HAS to match my shoes (if any of you are like that-PLEASE dont take offense-there is a point to that statement...) anyhow-I used to get put down all the time that I couldnt dress a certain way.....I just did what I had to do to get by and IF I could find something nice that fit-I had to buy it-no matter WHAT freaking color or whatever it was....I didnt have the options I do now-but I still have more important things to do than to have 20 prs of shoes with 20 matching purses. Give me my blue jeans and t-shirts and Im happy. I have some really pretty dresses now-but....I dont really go anywhere to wear them-but when you can pick them up at a sale for 1.00 or so-you get them...they are all summery tho. I have had a couple of best g/f-but I expect 2 things ALWAYS: Loyalty AND honesty. Period. Dont lie to me, dont steal from me, dont TRY to cheat on ME WITH my man... (which is funny, actually-because not only did he turn down a few that TRIED to make passes at him IN MY OWN HOME-BUT....he actually yelled-told everyone around what they tried to do-AND kicked them out of our home!!!-called them ****s and you name it!!!) Seems simple, huh? Its so hard nowadays. Im pretty cautious still.....BUT....My e.s.p is coming back and giving me direction...OR Im listening to it like I should have been doing all along-LOL.... SO-g/f-love ya and cant wait to be forever friends. Im so sorry your hurting. I have more to say about that-and will when I get home!
Before I go-And I have to go right now cuz Im running late. I WILL finish this when I get home today...BUT...I wanted to say-
**Shannon-THANKS FOR THE MOM HUG! I LOVE YA! You mean a lot to me-and the hug felt good!
**Sheila- I LOVE YOU TOO! Will be thinking about you today and praying for safe surgery!
**Sherr-I will pray about John! Im glad you like him so far. Hope you feel better and thanks for posting to me yesterday-Ive missed ya.
**Susie-will be thinking and praying for you and your scope today that all goes well. It will!!! YAY! One more step closer!
**Bec-Praying for your pain and travelers mercy. Gonna miss you! Love ya.
**Renee-Love you. Glad your okay after the fall-just think, tomorrow you can have milk!
**Lou-Keep on keepin on!
**Angie-congrats on the chair burning! Love ya. Cant wait to get one of those hugs!
Well, I gotta get. Or Im gonna have to do 100 to get to my appt in time....and its raining like nuts. All my love and prayers and will finish later. Love you guys-happy wednesday to you. Janet
Jan - wish I was going with ya!
I kind of want to go to Springfield this weekend but I just can't find the extra money at this time. My pay will be 2 days short so it will be stretched as much as I can especially since I have to buy protein and meds out of this one.
Its rainy and dreary here - had to actually drag Cassie outside to potty and she just stood on the porch and when I let them back in she pottyied on the floor. That dog knows how to pull my strings - then she stands there holding a paw up shaking because she knows she is in trouble. I was so mad i got her crate out and set it in the middle of the floor and she is hiding under my bed right now. Poor Taylor thinks he is the one in trouble and he is on my bed with his head under my pillow, how can I be mad at that?
Dad has Stag Night at the Moose lodge tonight so I do not have to worry about supper and sis is in Columbia so I can finish my sewing tonight without interuptions.
I read here daily though I may not post and not address each person but I want you to know that I care deeply about each and every one of you!
Hugs-Shannon
.
