OMG TMI

Deb,

I swear woman, I can be in the most FOUL MOOD and see one of your posts-and I about wet myself! I MUST MEET YOU SOME DAY! You do NOT know what a blessing you are in MY life-as well as others!

Sorry bout' your butt, but I suspect (LOL) that it had something to do with your surgery (scratching chin, your thinking NO SH*T, SHIRLOCK!!!) HAHA....I know I have heard a LOT of people have diarrhea and for some-it will be a lifetime of very soft b.m's.....I know others that have to take stool softeners every day or suffer.

~Now-for TRUE TMI~(THIS IS PURE HONESTY FOLKS-and I MUST ADVISE THAT THIS CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!!!)

I have been LUCKY to have suffered BOTH ENDS OF THE......(hmmm-no more puns please...) spectrum-but I must say, I agree with Angie-I would much rather have the diarrhea, then to be in there feeling like your giving birth, face turning BEET red, gripping the towel rack, if you dont actually pull it off the wall, one foot on the wall in front of you, one on the side-pushing for dear life-and for NOTHING! Your in there moaning and groaning LOUDLY-crying at times, screaming into a rolled up towel you have taken off the rack you pulled off the wall-have your face TOTALLY Stuffed into the towel.....turn the fan on AND run the water so that no one can hear you (or so you think)...You cant move-anywhere....you ARE ON ITS TIME-NOT YOUR OWN! Rocking back and forth, side to side....resort to swearing IF you have to-try to pinch it off and cant. Try rocking some more....Kid at the door asking if your okay-what the hell do you think? I have been in here for 45 minutes and not advanced 1/2 inch!~You would place money, MAYBE even your first born child-that what your TRYING to deposit is the SIZE OF A WATERMELON! HAS TO BE!!!! You wonder if your dialated to a 10 yet so you can push some more....You double over thinking maybe the pressure will help, then you arch your back and look at the ceiling-and wonder if anyone in the heavens is watching you and laughing? Do angels laugh at that? I must say-WHEN its NOT happening to me-Im laughing at my mental pic-(of me in this situation-NOT you guys!!-heck, I dont even know IF this happens to anyone BUT ME!!!) Just about the time you think your gonna pitch a tent and stay for a couple of days-AND you start to wonder-Does ANYONE ever have to call the EMTS over something like this? What would the outcome be IF I DID call them because I believe I am going to die before I get off this toilet!!! Could I almost be done? Nope...Just my sick mind playing games on me again-LOL...... Another kid at the door-Mom, when are you gonna start dinner? Mom, are you okay? Mom, do you need help? I BET...IF there were a guiness book of world records for this-I WOULD WIN!

So, after 85 minutes, and your finally done-your hair is soaked from sweating, your mascara has run down your face from crying and you think to yourself-I dont know what I did to deserve that-BUT...I WILL be going to buy some magnesuim citrate so I dont end up at the ER one of these days being sewn back together!!!! (although something tells me that wouldnt hurt as bad-LOL)

You emerge from the bathroom and EVERYONE is sitting around the livingroom staring at the bathroom door waiting for it to open....and when they see you-They KNOW, from the way YOUR WALKING, that YOU DIDNT PARTY IN THERE!!! They no longer think that I must have been in there reading OR taking a nice relaxing bubble bath....You would LOVE to join them on the couch, but you cant sit down for a few days-and wonder IF you can use depends on days like that? This is SAD BUT TRUE STORY~ Hope THIS doesnt happen to you- Love ya Deb-Janet