What's wrong with me?

I should be bouncing off the walls with excitement.Fri is all day preop deal in Columbia and then the 11th is my surgery date. But instead i'm feeling nothing at all,Anyone else go through this before surgery?
                    Debbie

I think I kind of went into shock.  I was so excited one day and then the day before surgery I was almost down in the dumps then the day I woke up to go to the hospital I had to be pulled off of the ceiling go figure now I know what a yo yo feels like up down up down up down

Hey Debbie!  I have been going through such a mix of emotions this week.  One minute I am excited. The next, I am scared to death.  Been having a little trouble with anxiety, but nothing too bad.  I think its probably normal.  I think because it is something we have chose to do instead of being told from the dr that we have to have to have it done.  You know what I mean?  when you have something wrong & the dr tells you that you will need surgery, you just think "well I have to have it done".  This is our decision.  I've been thinking "am i making the right choice?"  "will I do ok?"  & I have all the thaughts of what could  happen running through my head.  I know I am making the right decision, but it's still scary.

Do you know how many people will be at the class Friday?  I will look for you there.   (((HUGS))) Angy

Hi Angy
 No I don't have a clue how many will be there,Hope there aren't alot because i don't do well in big crowds lol.I'm starting to second guess myself and starting to get scared now all the what if's are rearing their ugly heads.I've been on here this morning reading all the complications of surgery during and after, now i'm driving myself insain lol. One day no emotion ,next day scared silly ,look out tomorrow lol.17 more days of up ,down, up, down ,.xanax take me away lol.
                     Deb

I understand where you're coming from.  When I was approved for surgery, I was SO excited.  When I went in for my pre op stuff two weeks prior to my surgery I was still excited but starting to get nervous.  Every day that I got closer to my surgery I would wake up excited because I was another day closer then a couple hours later I was terrified.  I kept thinking, what if, what if, what if?  I litterally made myself sick I was doing it so much... my biggest fear was kind of like what Angy was saying.. I kept thinking, "I'm choosing to have this done.  A dr. didn't tell me to do it.  It wasn't one of those, 'We're taking you back to surgery to remove that tumor that could kill you' deals....  I was thinking, I'm doing this out of vanity... then I'd walk up the stairs to go to my bedroom, have to lean against the wall and catch my breath and I'd realize that it wasn't for vanity, it really was to save my life, only I had made the decision before a dr. told me that I needed to do it.

I would try to rationalize with myself... maybe I could just try Weigh****chers one more time and start back to the gym... I know I can lose the weight, I've done it before, I'll keep it off this time, I know I can!  Well, I had lost weight on WW.. I got down to 179!  I had started at 219 lost to 179 then gained all the way up to 252... could I REALLY do WW again and REALLY keep it off?  Once I was honest with myself, I knew the answer.

On the day of my surgery I was absloutly petrified...  I kept asking my husband if it was too late to change my mind.  I felt guilty going into a surgery that I elected to have, worried that I might die and leave behind a 3 year old little boy b/c I wanted to loose weight.  But then the opposite side of that is, My son could walk into my room one day and FIND me dead b/c I had a heart attack or stroke b/c my blood pressure was so high.

Having this surgery is the most amazing and the most terrifying thing... going into it.  BUT once you've had it, you'll be shocked to remember the feelings or lack there of, that you were having prior to the surgery.  I'm just a little over 2 months out and I've lost 58.7 pounds and the last time I measured, I've lost a total of 34 inches from my whole body.  I went from a size 22 to a comfortable 16... in only two months.  I have so much energy now and not only can I climb my stairs, but I can climb them with a full laundry basket, forget something downstairs, run down the stairs to get it and run right back up them again! 

What you're feeling is normal, just try to keep some prespecitve and know that you're making a life altering decision that will be worth your time and emotions.. stay strong and think about your reasons to live and be excited about that amazing life you're about to restart!  You'll be amazed at the moments you'll have, esp the ones you don't see coming!

Best wishes.. this is gonna be great!

when i had my surgery i kept thinking you know this is something that i really need to do for my health, instead of a few years down the road having to have  a heart bypass.

but i know how you feel i was sort of like that too. was almost like i had no emotions.
just hang in there. after surgery was about as bad since i didnt have any pain it was like hmmmm i wonder if he really did anything. lol . 

Hi Debbie,

It is completely normal.  As it gets closer, you'll go from being excited, scared, question your decision and a range of emotions that may be similar to a roller coaster ride. 

For me, I wanted the surgery so badly.  I waited and waited, got my surgery date scheduled and then felt almost numb.  It was the reality of it was really going to happen. 

Congratulations on your surgery date!!

Cathy
www.obesityhelp.com/group/LoseWeightFindLife