maybe this is just me but i need some support here

why is it that i feel so lonely from not eating certain foods.  i mean i have dreams about all you can eat buffets and eating the buffet until it is gone!!!!  no really i do have these dreams.  i know that i miss food.  and i am really trying not to have the cross adictions of any kind.  but i find myself so drawn to it, more and more each day.  now to give a recap of my mental state.  i am borderline personality disorder, suffer from agoraphobia, severe anxiety panic disorder, post tramatic stress disorder, and the doc says biploar too but i do not agree with that one (yes, i take my medication like i am suppose to but i dont know if i might need a switch on my antidpressants since my surgery).  i just wonder if you all ever feel like this.  i know that i have more on my plate in the mental department then some people on here.  i want to hear from you all.  o and i am also classified as severly depressed.   for people who know me and see me at group i know i seem happy all the time.  most of the time i am better in social situations (if i can get myself to get over the anxiety of being there or even driving there and leaving my home).   i love support groups and now i am just a little down on myself.  all positive feedback and thoughts would be apperciated.  i know i am just in a funk right now but these funks suck!!!!!! 

Britt: your right all funks suck. I have been clinically depressed before but with the help of a good counselor and my Lord and savior Jesus i no longer suffer from it.  I know it hurts to be where you are.   Hopefully with meds and counseling you will feel better .  Food was all we had for so long but now you have so much more to live for.  I know you miss it , sometimes i do too but if you can get out and walk or do somethinhg physical it really will help.  We all love you sweetie and if you ever need me my email address is [email protected].  ok Im not the most comforting person i guess but am willing to listen.  Jan

jan you are always so supportive and sweet.  i thank you for your kind words.  i might write to you tomorrow if i am still in this funk.  thank you so much it really means a lot that you wrote. britt

Brit I have been where you are. and I have days when I seem to obsess over a certain food....but not as often as I did when I was still new at all of this! now Im planning a huge meal for my son who is comming home on leave for Easter. I look forward to it and I dont think Ill be very tempted...I have had enough bad experiences and enough weightloss to really feel commited to NEVER being fat again....food is NOT your friend sweetie! it lies to you! as for the other stuff...do you have a hobby? I recomend a dollhouse for your daughter....you and she could build not just a house but memories and you would have something positive to think about when you really cant find one! it sure worked for me when I was in the mental state you describe. if you need any help....Im not so far from you I couldnt run down there and give you a hand or a sholder!

nutti

ah thanks nuttie.  that is my probelm b/c i am so indecisive i have no hobby but my daughter and i are making up for lost time with her.  even though she is 3 1/2 i feel i owe her more mommy daughter time and since the park is just around the corner i can not wait to go walk there and just be out.  this weather is not good for her to be out in.  and the gym we go to well they are full of the flu and stomach bug.  even though i know they clean the kids club area i still dont feel safe for her in there.haha  we do let her go in there about once a week though.  i hope things work out tomorrow and maybe they can change some of my meds.  thank you again nuttie. britt

Hey Britt!  So glad I found you- I have two doll houses!  One is one of those kits that everyone starts with that is a victorian.  The other my husband built from scratch, it is called the Georgian.  Oh man is it ever nice!  We have built everything in it, inclucding crochetting with sewing string for dollies etc.  I hope to get back to the project one of these days.  I never got to the curtains, and Randy needs to put the base boards down.  I don't have any pictures of it to send you, and don't know how to attach pictures here on OH anyways....  When my husband retires, I hope he gets back into the hobby and uses some exotic woods on some projects.  He even made the windows and wired it for tiny lights, made parkay floors...everything.  Our daughter was 12 when all this happened and she played with her kit house, but collected for the Georgian house.  Now she is married and has a daughter, but no room to store the doll house.  We have a down stairs so I keep them down there.  I let the granddaughter (4) play in the kit only on special visits to Nanna's house.  (when I'm busy and need her quiet).  You make me miss the hobby!  I don't have time for it now, but we sure had fun doing that for about 2 years.  Brenda Nutt

Britt sweetheart you are a very beautiful person and your daughter is too,  I know we get over whimed sometimes with our eating problems but just remember you are not alone in this we are there with you, and there is alot of foods out there we can have..so just keep talking to us and we are always there for you..there is alot of us ole mother hens out here that you can lean on because we have been there it gets better...love ya and am giving you a big hug.....vesta

thank you brenda and vesta!  today i feel much better.  i told my husband that my daughter and i needed a girls day out and so we are going to chuck e. cheese today.  i know it is a kid place but i just love seeing kaylee run around and play.  plus this way i am not in the house obsessing over things.ha   yesterday was a rough day.   a day were i was like i wish i didnt have this surgery.  but today i am so happy i did!!!!  i am a confusing person.haha  talk to you all soon.  thanks for the support. britt

sweetie that is what we are here for. and always know that this is a safe place to come to when you need someone. have fun today with that sweet daughter of yours.  

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time Britt. Is there anything I can do to help?