How much can one bare?

Good evening! Today is a bad day for me an I have no one to talk too. I'm hurting so much cant stop crying an feeling real sick. I'm still grieving an then on top of that the love of my life tells me shes not happy bein wit me anymore when I got home from putting my mom away. Its been ruff this two months an I dont know who to turn to. I have no friends here only back at home in Maryland so I'm all alone. We talk about trying to make it work but I only see is that I'm the only one trying  in my eyes. Its like I dont know this person anymore an I've only been gone for a month. She works alot,but was doing that all the time so thats not a probably but when shes home she's always sleep but when her friends calls to do somthing she jumps up an be like I'll be back. We dont talk much an I know when you live wit someone you dont have much convo,cuz its like wat can I say that you dont know already know. I feel use an abuse. We was suppose to be moving back to Maryland after she got her CNA but now she dont wanna go back. She know I wanna go back due to mom gone an its only my dad an brother an left an my dad is not doing good his self. If she would had told me along time that she didnt wanna go back I could had been there wit my mom an not waiting on her to get he career going. I ask her to be more of a help wit me wit the kids an she said she would but she havent. We had a real goodnite no fussing an just enjoy eachother company. Today I ask her wat she doing today an she said nothing I said ok she ask me did I had anyplans an I look at her like ok wat do I do but stay home an take care of the kids an the house. I ask her wat can we do today she said well we have low funds so we cant do much. Well the two youngest bus pick them up at 11 am so I was saying to my self we can put them on the bus an grab some lunch an talk an take a walk,an before I got a chance to ask he if thats a good plan a knock was at the door. She went to answer it an came back in the room smiling an kiss me an say I'll be back wont be long an now its 12:44pm an she been going since 10:30. She lying all the time now an I'm catching her in them. I just dont know wat to do. I'm trying to stay postive cuz I am moving back to Maryland,just trying to let the kids finish school an I have my surgery but all this stress might kill me before hand.  Wish I had some friends or support to get me threws this.I wish I knew somethings I can do threw the day to keep me from sitting in here thinking about this. I cant get a job rite cuz I'm to close to having surgery an dont wanna start a job an have to take time off. I feel terrible coming on here wit my problems but I have no one else to talk too.

WOW! That was an ear full.  Keep your head up! Move to Maryland! Angela 

Hello Ladymoya...I went to a get together at this friends house and this girl I liked at one time came on to me. I felt uncomfortable about it...Why?...Because I told her that I liked her alot back then...but,she would not give me the time of day...I was fat...I told her nicely that Iam still the same person...but, since she did that to me years back, I want nothing to do with her now but Friendship... Its my time now..just as it is your time to shine...If this person doesnt want to be with you then so be it...You cant make someone want to be with you...You seem so nice Ladymoya and a good head on your shoulders...Iam sure you will do the right thing...Just remember this..when you reach your goal and you are doing ok...They will all flock around you then...keep your head up and tell them No thanks ..They had their chance...That will be your big WOW moment.....You got a friend in me LadyMoya...If you ever need to chat...Just email me ok?...I sometimes get lonely too and confused...We can work this out together....God Bless & Keep You Safe....Craig Lee

Ladymoya, Wow sorry to hear you have had to deal with so much in such a short period of time.  If you your partner is being like that and your not happy maybe you should go be with your family. When you have surgery you are going to need positive support and it don't really sound like you will get it where you are.  What ever the reason is she is going off alone and being gone long periods and such. It's not a decent way to do in a realationship.  Sometimes it's not always understandable but there is a reason for all things. Dosen't make you like whats going on any better but at least you know something will come out of it...Maybe this person is not the right person for you. Maybe things are happening where you will go home and be with your family. Maybe it's happening cause you are meant to be with someone different.  The best thing to do is search your heart and decide what you really want to do and what is right for you.  Please keep your plans for your surgery! It will change you life alot and the changes will surely only bring better things..... Your in my prayers....Luv & Hugs...Tammy~ammy

Dont worry..when you have your surgery everything will look different to you..turn you eyes to God for answers in your life, he wants to help us but we have to ask him for help..I will be praying for you....vesta

HMMMMMMMMM.... while I know you feel like your loosing your partner and that is a sad and often a difficult time.

keep in mind that you have wonderful reasons not to get so down and depressed. your kids! focus on them.  soon all your focus will be on yourself and getting better.I too suggest moving home for support reasons but since you have reasons to stay...(kids in schhol,upcomming surgery) make the best of it....get involved with something. I build dollhouses and make miniatures...while that hobby isnt for everyone...there is something you can doo....lots of online communities for yuou to meet folks and make friends.  When I went to the shrink for the pre surgical eval...I was asked how is your social life??? well...I had/have a full social life yet I never leave my house. all online. if you are forced to stay here and your partner is drifting away than get involved....in ANYTHING!  get the house organised to make moving self and kids home when its time....get yourself ready for the surgery...focus on those kidos and YOU!  like someone said you cant make someone stay with you....but you always stay with you! be someone you want to hang out with.  surgery is going to change your body...your mind and attitude is what will change your life!     do you attend a support group? church?  great places to meet folks and make new friends! Hang in there kido! it does get better. nutti

Thank you all for the support. I'm hanging strong an focusing on my kids. I'm still having surgery here but soon as my surgeon release me to another doc in maryland I'm hitting the highway. will post when I get surgery date.