I need input!

Hello Everyone,

Thought I better pop in and say HI! We have been busy around here. Friday was GD Sydney's 18th birthday. It's hard for me to even think my first Grandchild is 18!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday Dennis and I went to Cape Girardeau to do some Christmas shopping. I had already pretty much bought for everyone, I have been doing it online this year don't have to fight the crowds that way! So anyway we finished up the shopping. He wanted to go J.C. Penney's "BIG MISTAKE" They were so crowded!!!! But he needed to get a couple white dress shirts for church and they were having a pretty good sale on stuff so he also got a pair of slacks. Anyway then we went to Olive Garden, I love their salad and minestrone soup.

So then yesterday morning Dennis preached at a church that is 10 minutes from our house. Which was nice because normally we drive about an hour to get to church. So last night they were not having service and  Dennis’ work was having their Christmas Dinner so we headed up there.  We decided to take his Boy Scout truck instead of our van. Because the truck is a one ton dually 4 wheel drive. Anyway all it was doing here when we left was raining. The Scout Reservation we had to go to is located out on  West 44 Interstate around High Ridge about 21 miles west of St. Louis. When we got to 44 Interstate the roads were still clear But the trees were covered in Ice! We had a descent time good food and fellowship. Dennis was adopted to be Donner the reindeer for Santa’s Sleigh! And I forgot my Camera!!!! Maybe I will get some copies of pictures that some of the office girls took. We made it back home without incident, roads still just wet.

So anyway now today I will be picking Sydney up after school so she can get her eyebrows and upper lip waxed.

Dennis is on vacation for 3 weeks starting today. He can’t take it in the summer because that is when the camp is jumping and he has to be here.

I would like to let Jan and Lana Jane and Connie and the others that I  am thinking of them and pray that each one that has surgery and those  that are pre-op will have a speedy recovery.

My back has seemed to be less painful in my Thoracic Spine but has been  hurting in my Lumbar area. I go back for a second epidural on the 18th of this month. The only thing I am wondering about is that after I had this 1st epidural  I have been having some major spasms in my back. And that hurts like nothing else!!!!!!!!!!! So I don’t know if it’s caused  by what they did in there are just that maybe I am doing more than just laying around??

You know what I have to, I guess, put this out there and see what you  all think?I have never had what you call a dumping problem. The only time  I throw up is when I have ate to fast. And then it's not really throwing up.  I just open my mouth and the food, I guess you could call it regurgitates.

I don’t dump on sugar, I don’t dump on fried foods, or bread, nothing. I have found that I can eat anything and also seems to me I can hold in  my tummy more food. Your probably thinking why am I doing this, well I  am addicted to food just as being addicted to drugs or coffee or any other addictions. And when I found that nothing bothered  me old habits creep back in. It’s really hard to fight it for me, I just knew  that I would be smaller than I am right now at this point. I had lost 121 pounds  and I have gained back 5 pounds. I have went from a size 28w to a 13/14.

I am just getting discouraged about this because I do not want to go back  to where I was!!!!! before wls.

I guess what I asking for is your prayers. I am so afraid to take the steroids  in these epidural’s and then thinking of having back surgery and not be able to move around much is getting to me.

I know that this is supposed to be a new lifestyle for me. But if nothing makes me dump when I eat, it makes it real easy to eat it again.

I’m just getting mad at my self and I know that I have to fight this, but is  this going to be like every other time that I have went on so many diet programs  to only gain back the weight and then some?

Please send some big prayers my way!