Circle of Friends Cancelled

Well, I just the email from Claudette that the Circle of Friends group will be no more......I am truly heart broken.....I absolutely LOVED the meetings and learned so much through interaction with people who have been there done that.  I also was totally looking forward to someday being one of those "seasoned" postops and sharing my wisdom with the newbies in our group. This will not be happening now b/c of some people.....some anonymous and some not.  I just think it's a shame that people have so much unhappiness in their lives that they project that onto other people..... If you didn't like the group, then JUST DONT GO!  Who gives a flip what you think......I sure don't.  I find it truly shameful b/c that group could have made a serious difference in someone's life....and now they won't get that chance because of those hateful hateful people.  And, she is NOT doing this just for attention...she is doing this because she has been slandered and been attacked for no freaking reason. I'm pissed off and sad so I'm going now. Rianne

Rianne,      I just got the e-mail too.  I feel for Claudette.  I also know that the group just cant disolve b/c a few people are being rude and do not like the group.  Being a newbie 7 months out, I have not the qualifications to do this but I did suggest maybe her passing the torch so to speak.  The group is great and I HATE the fact that it is no longer.  I will not attend the group I came from b/c of the people and leader (some of the fellow members were really nice dont get me wrong), so now I am stuck finding another new group.  I hope someone seasoned in this surgery can take Claudettes torch and run hard and fast with it.  I will talk to you soon. Britt

  I'm sorry to hear that.  I don't know Claudette, never been to a COF meeting and don't know anything about what you may be referring to - but, I am in ministry, and I do know people in general and often these types of things seem to get almost political in nature.  Not sure if that's what's happening here (and I don't want to know), just speculating.  Because I know absolutely nothing about what you all are referring to, indulge me a minute on a few points for pondering that may help encourage some of you through this time.  I know it's going to be a struggle for many of you, as I know many of you attended COF; but many of you may go through something similar with other support groups.  So this could apply to any support group and/or other similar situations... I know what it's like to have someone say mean and hurtful things to you.  I truly do.  You want to close up shop, turn tail and run.  You're done and that's it.  But if you do that - then they win.  If there's any measure of truth in what's been said about you (the collective you here - not meaning any one person by this ;) )  then it might be time to take a look inside yourself and make some changes, make some apologies or whatever.  Humble yourself and admit if you've done wrong.  But if there isn't any measure of truth to the hurtful things said, and it was the other person(s) just truly being mean, hateful, jealous or whatever:  then hold your head up, press on toward the goal you have and continue helping those in the WLS community as you have been.  When you are the leader of something (a support group, a ministry leader, a scout leader or whatever) people are watching you.  It requires someone with diplomacy, tact, a great measure of people skills, overall maturity and a thick skin to take on the job; because anyone viewed as someone in authority or in a leadership position will come under attack (I don't mean a physical attack, but a verbal attack - or someone trying to undermine what you're doing).  Attack from those who just oppose anyone in authority, from those who oppose a particular guidelines/rule/position of the group that is being enforced or upheld by the leader, or just a personality conflict:  whatever the reason, there will, at some point, be an attack.  Count on it.  How you handle that attack - shows a lot about your personal character.   The following are good points to consider, not just if you're in an attack by someone, but just as a good role model as a leader: Do you: -keep your cool -not resort to name calling -do not gossip or bad mouth another person - EVER -use bad language -do you truly hear and listen to members of the group/club when they has issues/complaints that needed to be addressed -do you delegate responsibilities, as needed and/or dictated by your groups/clubs bylaws -do you remain accountable in all areas, according to your groups/clubs bylaws Again, I'm sorry that many of you are hurting over the COF issue.  I'll be praying for you.  {{{hugs}}}

Well I do feel for her as well----but if someone can pass this along to Cluadette Id be grateful-- Claudette---and to everyone else I can understand 1st hand what she was going thru--in a different situation but I understand the slander, the ignorance of some people---but if she can think of it as this-----She can come back to the group and keep it going--yes its hard to ignore people but she didnt let anyone or anything keep her from having her surgery 6 years out right?   Well now today---take a stand----Get the group meeting again and back on here--just like no one stood in your way of having surgery--dont let them stand in your way of being a great leader of a great group ! *looks around for Claudette*  Everyone is looking for you--Please come back and continue doing what you do, and everyone else who doesnt like it, can turn the other way---not read your posts and keep their mouth shut!  This is silly to attack others--we are grown adults and not everyone can like what everyone says or does--thats what makes us--US ! So maybe that can get her back on here--I hope so--so many people depend on her, the group, the advice etc----Dont let anyone knock you down from what you love doing Claudette!!!!! Love Amber

could not of said it better myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!