Thurs Humor

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their 
days interesting. 
 
 Well, for example, the other day Pat and I went into town and went into a 
 shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there 
 was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come 
on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and 
 continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and 
started writing another ticket for having worn tires. 
 
 So Pat called him a ****head. He finished the second ticket and put it on 
 the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This 
 went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he 
wrote. 
 
Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus. 
 
 We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important 
at our age. 

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A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed.

"If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked.

"Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend.

And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.

Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.

"Go and get help!" he cried.

"But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!"

"Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."

Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!"

The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."