My Best Friend, Food

I read this tonight and felt so much of the same things as the author of this poem does...

 

My Best Friend, Food

My best friend has been with me since the time I was a small child and had to sneak into the pantry late at night and steal to satisfy this deep hole inside my soul. My best friend fills the deepest, darkest needs that my body has, that my soul craves - to be filled up with something - anything.  My best friend will never desert me or reject me. My best friend stayed with me when my mother beat me and when my son died.  My best friend allowed me the freedom to lean on her more and more as I needed her and never once complained. My best friend hid me deep within myself where nobody else could find me.  She protected me and guided me safely through life. My best friend is always a quiet listener and never asks for anything in return.  My best friend always calls to me and wants to help me through all of my struggles, pains and fears. My best friend loves to celebrate with me when something good happens in my life.  She is always standing ready anytime, day or night when I need her.  She is never petty or jealous. She never hates me because I may not need her that day, but is always standing ready when she is needed once again without anger or resentment. I have needed my best friend less and less this past year, but sometimes the pain, anger, resentment and fear builds to such a height, I have to go running to her once again and lay my head against her bosom and ask her to take care of me once again.  She is always happy to oblige. Somehow I have to tell her that I don't need her anymore. Not ever again.  That somehow I have to find a new life without her, that she can only be there for me as something to help me live, not something to live for.  I'm afraid of being without her, but I know it's the best for me. I think she will understand, but the fear is that she will never really go away. That she will stay there, always lurking in the shadows, waiting for my weaknesses to bring me back to her once again.  The even bigger fear is that she will really go away forever.  For now I put her away...and build the hope that the next time I need her, she will be less and less an obstacle to life - so I can live. Debbi K. © DCK 10/10/99  

honestly I'm a lil scared to live without "my best friend"  I never have---I don't know if I can---but I do know that I am NOW (don't think I ever was before--not in my whole life)  ready to truly fight!!!

 Always,

~Angie!

Angie, I want you to know that you have a whole board full of new "best friends" and that we will do anything we can to fill the void that giving up your favorite foods leaves in your life.  We are almost all food addicts so we do understand your feelings but your "best friend, food" is slowly killing you and you have to put it aside and learn to live for yourself.  You can do it, you're an amazing woman. Hugs, Lana

This might sound a little silly, but I wrote "my best friend" a letter and told it we would could no longer be friends. I had to break off the relationship in someway so that I would know our friendship had been severed. I know that I will have to meet my friend at "work" three times a day, but our relationship would not be the intimate relationship we once had, but now, our relationship would be a business relationship; get in get the work done and go home. Being true to ourselves we need to severe our relationship with food because it truly is trying to destroy us through its codependant behavior toward us. We have let food see us through every emotion there is and that has to stop.  I then wrote a letter to God asking Him to take the place of food. I wanted Him to be the one to be with me through my emotional ups and downs. I wanted Him to take control and help me. My favorite scripture is Philipians 4:13 " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." He can help us through anything there is, we just have to allow him to be our support, our "best friend."