Weds Humor

Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he Often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He Gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a Strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white Robe "Who the hell are you?" demanded Dave, "and what are you doing in my Bedroom?" The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter." Dave was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to Live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family. . . You've got to send me Back straight away." St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We Can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, He asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around Pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling Up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how Are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies Dave, "but I have this strange feeling inside Like I'm about to explode." "You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never Laid an egg before." "Never" replies Dave "Well just relax and let it happen" And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops Out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and His emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the First time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was Overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best Thing that ever happened to him . . Ever!!! The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt An enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting... "Dave, wake up you drunken ******* you've sh*t the bed "Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, yelling "..........Holy **** what a ride".

Tony Holy moly that was too funny!!!!! Thank you so much for the rib tickleing laugh!!! How are you doing?? Glad to see you posting on the board again. Your sure missed when your not around!!! Mel

Hi Mel, Im good thankyou,And how is Melissa doin?Great I hope,myself on weight wise I had lost a whole whopping 115lbs as of last week and is now under the 300 mark finely,I still have a ways to go though lol,but it's more than I have ever lost,so I guess I should be happy The wifey,kids and I are staying with her Dad in his moble home for a short while until we can get back on our feet so I hope its soon cause my wife and our three kids are staying in a one bedroom and boy its really crowded lol,I cant complain Its a roof over our heads at least lol.Well enough babbling for now.Its Good to hear from you again hun,take care and Godbless. TONY