New to the process and collecting information (Long vent)
I've been researching weight loss surgeries for almost a year now and recently started the process. I am 30 years old, weigh about 330 pounds and am the single mother of four young children. My mother is obese and dying from co-morbid conditions. Two of my children are becoming obese and I'm afraid that if I do not get out and moving and get them out with me, I will pass along this terrible disease to them as well.
I recently moved from a large city in New Mexico to a TINY town in NE Missouri. Things are really different here, but I had been in an abusive relationship and needed go. I currently have Medicaid but will lose that if my income goes above $400 a month. Luckily we're living in a home that my parents own so I don't have rent to worry about, but it's still tough. The Univ of MO hospital in Columbia has a program that takes Medicaid so I've started with them. I did my pre-surg psych eval, got my PCP referral, and filled out all the paperwork and forms since all that is required before setting up the first office visit. When I turned everything, I was told that they would have to process everything and it would be 2-3 weeks. THEN I could set my appointment.
After the office visit, they will file for my insurance approval. I'm anxious to get this all done as going without mu*****ome is both difficult and scary. I did finally break down last month and started a job. It wasn't ideal work, but had health benefits and I figured it would be a good move. Jobs around here are few and far between and very few have insurance. This one did and I was thrilled. Unfortunately, the days were long (11+ hours) and there were many in a row (6 days a week). The work was rough and physical to start with and standing for so long on cement in boots had me in extreme pain by the end of the day. My feet and knees couldn't take it.
I need to get this done FAST. I hate relying on Medicaid and food stamps. I hate living like this, but it seems to be what I need to do until I can get the surgery. I have started working on some of the things the hospital requires before surgery, hoping that once I get my office visit, things can move quickly. I've started group support meetings and I KNOW there is still so much I need to know.
In an ideal world, I would take my time to make sure I knew everything I needed to know to ensure the best success rates possible. Unfortunately, I need to figure out a lot in as short a period of time as possible. I researched the surgery itself for a long time before even figuring out that Medicaid would cover it. I'm comfortable with my knowledge of it. It's what happens after surgery that I'm concerned about. How do people deal with the changes? I didn't become obese overnight or on purpose...there are reasons I got there. I need help figuring out those reasons and preventing them from returning. After years in an abusive relationship, I deal with super low self-esteem and a lot of self-hate. Both of those things can sabbatage my recovery. How to I change those things? How do I learn to take care of myself?
I overeat to comfort. If I'm stressed, worried, afraid, sad, etc. I live an isolated life. I wasn't really allowed friends before and now it's hard getting out there and making them. But when isolated, I sit at home and eat a lot. How do I break out of those kinds of patterns? THAT is the part that I wish I could work out before surgery. That is the part that I hate rushing.
I've been vegetarian for 19 years. I'm used to eating nasty protein shakes and tofu. I actually LIKE them. I don't worry about not getting enough protein. I worry about not getting enough comfort. I know that as I lose weight, I will be able to move easier and find new things to replace old habits, but I'd be so much more comfortable if I had a game plan in place first.
Sorry to babble, but if anyone has any advice, I'd really love it. The town I live in has less than 2,000 people and there aren't a lot of resources in the area. Please help!
I live in Shelbina, which is about 40 miles west of Hannibal, 25 miles east of Macon, or 17 miles north of Paris, depending on which way you're headed from. I noticed that you're in Moberly. I head that way now and then. One of the things I never got over from living in a big city was my need for a Wal-Mart!
I happen to have family in laws in Shelbina, lol. So I know just right where it is plus my dentist Dr Russell is there in Shelbina. My sister-in-law works in his office. I am surprised that you come down to the Wal-Mart here when my in laws says that they always go to Hannibal. Guess it just different preference, 
Kathleen
Kathleen I do my share of Hannibal too. It's about as far to either one. I think that Hannibal Wal-Mart is literally half a mile closer to my house than Moberly. I've been doing more Hannibal lately though. I'm convinced there are fewer deer on Hwy 36 than on Hwy 24 and Hwy 15. I could be totally wrong, but that's how it works in my mind anyway. It gets dark early so I go the safer route lately. Just depends on my mood I suppose.
Jenn,
First of all, you've done so many positive things in such a short time, leaving NM, getting near your support (family), starting the process to have surgery. I know you can and will be so successful. You will find that the high you get from winning the surgery will make you not so hungry for comfort. Try to find a new comfort now, do you do crafts, read? I know it's not easy, been where you are myself. But I also know that you can do it. I don't want to be pushy but a good supportive church family would be a wonderful help to you. Check it out if you haven't already. Also, you need to know that this board is the most wonderful group of loving folks you'll even meet and you can come to it anytime, even if all you need is some loving concern. We're all here for you. Hugs, loves and prayers are coming to you from -
Lana
Thank you so much! It helps knowing that there are others out there that have made it! It's a bit overwhelming at times, but I honestly believe that this is what I need to do. Now I just have to figure out HOW to do it! Well, I guess that's where support groups come in and maybe one of these days I'll be able to return the favor! -Jenn
Jenn, you will be ok, your body with help you with the change. And trust me, you wont over eat but once! Are you having your surgery in Columbia? Look and see if there is a support group around you that you can attend. I believe there is one in Hannibal, because if I am correct there is a doctor that does this kind of surgery at the hospital up there, as my niece used to work up there. But you can do some research and find out if not there is are two support groups in Columbia. Boone hospital has their the 2 Sunday of each month, (which is the one I attend) and of course Dr. Scott has 2 session (I believe someone told me that). I know it is along drive just for support, but It might just be worth it.
You will be in my prayers.
Kathleen
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