mixed emotions about inspiring others

Has anyone experienced this? Since my success with WLS, I have found myself an inspiration to others who are now seeking WLS for themselves. I initially felt very proud and a bit touched to be inspiring others, but with it....I'm beginning to feel some heavy burden of responsibility. What if someone seeks the surgery (due to my good experience) and has a bad outcome. My mother is currently being worked up for RNY in Nevada and a few good friends at work have either had or are having surgery in part because of my success. Sometimes, I almost regret telling people about my surgery and allowing my journey to be so public. I worry that someone could have a bad outcome because of my referral. Is this nuts?

Victoria, I think we all have had those feelings at one time or another. Everyone's experience will NOT be the same as our own. I did have an experience with someone I connected with on OH, I was post-op, he was pre-op. He'd made his decision on his own to have surgery though prior to us meeting on the boards. He had so many questions for me though and I answered honestly, letting him know my opinions and reminding him he'd have to find what worked for him and to just learn as much as he could and stick to the rules. He had his surgery and died of a massive heart attack 2 days later. It was HORRIBLE. Would he have had the heart attack without the surgery? probably. Still you wonder. But per our conversations i know, he believed in God, felt this was what he needed to do and was very excited about moving forward. This surgery is a VERY personal decision. I happen to work in a medical clinic and I've let all my co-workers know I've had WLS. They didn't knwo me prior and can't beleive when I show them my pre-op pics. I have had several pts come to me after a nurse has told them I've had WLS because they are being referred to Columbia for it. I encourage them to research on OH as many hrs as they can.....I did for months before my surgery. I went to a seminar 3 yrs before actually deciding to have WLS. Eventually I KNEW it was the right choice for me and I came to that decsion on my own without even sharing it with family(except my husband) or friends. It was MY choice and I knew beign a light-weight in the world of WLS I woulnd't have much support from my family or friends. You ARE an inspiration and you can't stop that! : ) It's an amazing thing you've done here, turning your life around, giving yourself new hope for the future. They just want to taste a little of that too. I just encourage folks to NOT jump into this decision, it's not a FIX-ALL and you'll go through more than you could EVER imagine. You need to be as educated as you can be on nutrition, exercise, (mental health!, therapy is not a bad idea people!) And for goodness sakes......GET YOUR BUTT TO A SUPPORT GROUP OR TWO OR THREE!!!!!!!!!!! My sister had the surgery after me and I played a HUGE role in her decision. Even helped get my surgeon in CA to do it as no one in MO would touch her due to a blood clot disorder. Had she had a bad outcome I would have known she was at peace with her choice. If you don't have a "peace" about it then it's not time to have the surgery. If you have doubts, WAIT. You aren't ready. I could go on and on.....sorry. : ) Tami

thanks, Tami. I don't think I was prepared for the emotinal journey that my WLS (and even my success) caused. The things I planned on feeling (grief over losing food) I never felt. And the things that have bothered me are things I would have never thought about......what a trip! Surgery has changed my life so much and I've been on a very intense inner search for who I really am..........wow!

You're not alone there Victoria, that's for sure!!! I'm still on that search as well. : ) And you hear things pre-op that people are concerned over and I know I thought, oh not me...that won't be an issue and look now.....never say never.....just when you think you have it all figured out, there's something else! lol I'm just enjoying the ride and hoping in the end it'll all work out! : ) Some of the same life issues are still there, others have surfaced now that food doesn't burry all the problems, and you gotta find ways to deal with them now that FOOD isn't doing that for you. Pre-op we just don't have a clue really. And I gotta wonder, does that "fat" person image we all have in our head EVER completely go away. You said I was looking so small? Most days I don't see that. But I do feel pretty good and confident, just not SMALL. Funny how that works. WOW is right!!!

you girls and guys are a real help to me, that is why the dr. explains the pros and cons to you, and sometimes we dwell on the cons to much and like to hear people are doing great. I think we all know there is a chance having surgery might not go good, but there is a bigger chance of death staying like I am. as I told my family this is my decision and with Gods help it will be fine, Gods Will be done tks again, Love ya vesta