What's wrong with me?

I told a very good friend of mine today while we were playing golf that I was hoping to have WLS. She has known me for about 10 years and has seen me bigger than I am now, thin when I lost 100 lbs on weigh****chers and now. She told me she thought I was too small for WLS, yes I might be borderline at 245 but too small?? I don't think so. Then she kept asking me about Weigh****chers and why don't I just do that again? And she was telling me how good I looked when I lost my weight, and how she has a picture of her and I on her desk at work when we played in a golf tournament together after I lost my weight and when she looks at it she thinks about how good I looked and felt then. Anyway she is a dear friend but I felt like a failer gaining most of my weight back and she just doesn't understand why I just don't do it again. She said WLS is too risky for someone who isn't that big I just need to diet. Now I know she is rail thin and probably has never had weight issues so I should just let it roll off, but I guess part of me wonders if she is right. Why can't I seem to diet again? I have tried time and time again but each time in the back of my mind is this little voice that says "What's the point, you are just going to gain it all back." Anyway I'm just feeling a little down, maybe I am looking for an easy way out I don't know. Heck I don't even know if I'll ever get the chance to have WLS. It didn't help that my golf game totally sucked today and I am getting a migrane plus about a million other things are going on....Maybe I just need a warm bath, some soft pajamas and a big hug lol.

heres the hugs....Jan

I read an article that 92-95% of dieters who lose weight re-gain it all and then some within 2 years.(It may have even been 95-98%)So there is nothing wrong with you you are normal. This is the very reason I don't want to diet. I don't want to gain more back ! Not to mention that the yo-yo weight gain and loss is so bad for your body. Until someone has been they can not fully understand. They may have they best intentions and only concern for you but they don't know what we do about how it feels to live like this . They aren't informed as we are about WLS.They only know the horror stories. It's not you.Don't beat yourself up.My Dad always said that "insanity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." How many of us have dieted and fallen off only to diet again? We have found a sane alternative to our problem. Be proud that you have not given up! Many do. You are still fighting to lose the weight and checking all your options. God for you! If you BMI is in the range to qualify for surgery then you are not too small for it. PLease don't let someone who is uninformed affect your informed decision. Dannielle

Hey Danielle I know our friends and families are only concerned and that is because they love us so much however, we aren't doing this for them but for ourselves so chin up and know that this is good for you and it is not an easy thing, They need to educate themselves, then maybe they would understand HHHHUUUUUGGGGGSSSS to you! Barb T. in KC.

Sorry Marcia I have lots on my heart this morning and I got the wrong name sweetie but the reply was yours. Barb T.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, girlfriend. Read my post above and know you're not the only one. I, too, am a lightweight and folks tell me constantly that I don't need to lose that much weight but I say, yes, but I have diabetes, hypertension, gout, high cholesterol, arthritis, urinary incontinence and a host of other problems that will be helped or cured by surgery. Then I want to add - You got anything else you want to say to me - but I don't. Hugs and love Lana

((((((((((((Marcia))))))))))))))) Heres your big hug! I just wanted to let you know that I weighed 240 and had lapband bariatric surgery 9 days ago. I drove myself crazy going back and forth asking myself if I should have surgery or try once again to go on that LAST diet. I had tried dieting for 20 years and only gained more and more weight. I am now on the "other side" and I can tell you that surgery was the best decision that I have ever made for myself. It is not an easy way out,,,,,you have to work at it each day. But now I have a built-in tool to remind daily how important it is what goes in my mouth. Listen to your heart. You know what is best for you. Pray a lot and your prayers will be answered. Good Luck with your decision. Bonnie

Thanks everyone for your kind words, your right. I have been doing the yo-yo thing since I got on my first diet at age 9, that was 30 years ago. I just got back from Wal-Mart where I couldn't find a pair of jeans to save my life. Why oh why are most plus sized jeans are the strech kind that shrink wrap your legs? They aren't attractive! My thighs touch, and my calves are far apart so it looks like I'm bow legged from my knees down "NOT PRETTY!" Anyway I change clothes with my back to the mirror, I am just so disgusted with my body, I just hate it! I want to love me again. I know how that feels, it was just about 5 years ago and I remember the little things, like how the back of my legs and butt feels with no tapioca, how much easier it was to do pretty much everything. Not having my shorts legs ride up between my legs, feeling seat bones when I sat in a hard chair "that was a bitter sweet revelation, it was uncomfortable, but Hey I have seat bones yay!" lol Being able to ride my horse with more self confidence, having others notice me, wolf whistles from guys, wearing cute clothes not in the plus sizes AND facing the mirror when I tried them on and sobbing with shear joy when they fit, or even better when they were too big. I so badly want that again! And your right about diets don't work. About a year ago I saw a woman at a thing I went to with my mother who was introducing the guest of honor. I kinda recognized her but couldn't put my finger on who she was till my mom whispered "Do you know who she is?" I said "No, but she looks familiar." she told me that was our Weigh****chers instructor when we went. That was the woman who helped me lose 100 pounds, she encouraged me every step of the way, she was my inspiration. But she is also human, and she was about 60 pounds heavier than the last time I saw her too. So I guess I shouldn't feel too bad, but it sure is easy to do.