OH FAMILEY PLEASE HELP ME!!

I am so confused, I know I want WLS, I have been reserching it for about 4 to 5 years now and wanted it from then, now I have the surgery date and am scared to death. I went to my brothers house to visit them and told them I was putting WLS on hold and got introuble lol they were like no your not we want you healthy again! I want it too , like I said im scared and confused. I didnt call to put surgery on hold so I still have the pre op date on 9-18 and surgery date on 9-28 , like I said I want WLS but I dont want to die from it or blood clots ect... I found out my mom does not want me to have it done because she is scared I will die , but she said what I choose she will support me 100% and help me if or if I do WLS. My dad wants me to get it done. And I know he will be there for me as well but wow were talking about a life change, and ive waited for this for WLS for 4 years and never could afford it or they didnt take ins I had , something always went wrong , now I have the date for it and im all nuts about it . I just dont know what to do, so please you all help andy advise will help I know its gotta be done for me and no on else and I want it but am scared of it love you all and no matter what im gonna always be on oh!! Love benny

Benny, I understand how you feel. My surgery is August 10 and I went through a period of being scared to death. I know it is the best thing in the world for me, but I hate having to have surgery! Then I changed my PCP last Friday. I went to see the new doctor and he said he was so glad I was having this surgery. He looked at me, listened to my heart and lungs, then stepped back and said he would give me 3 years to live if I didn't have it done! WOW, that really scared me and my husband more than the thought of surgery! Benny, it doesn't make any difference whether you have the surgery or not, if God is ready for you to come home, he'll call you home! It could happen in your living room, your front yard, in bed, at the hospital, or on the operating table. Only God knows when our time is over here on earth. You will only die if God has that as his plan. But, I keep going back to that part of the Bible that says our bodies our God's temple. Shouldn't we keep God's temple in good shape? All this fat that is hanging around on me, isn't keeping God's temple up to code. I didn't have insurance that would pay for my surgery and I didn't have the cash on hand to do it either. But, my 80 year old Dad came to me and said he had some savings put back for a "rainy day" and he wanted to loan it to me for the surgery because he didn't want me to die from a heart attack. I believe that God led him to do this for me. I believe this was in God's plan for me. I don't think all of this would have worked out for me if it wasn't supposed to be. I also believe that after researching WLS for as many years as you have and now having the insurance to pay for it and the support of your family, this is God's plan for you. Don't be afraid--we're here for you to talk to when the night gets long and those doubts creep into your mind. We'll help you through the tough times, I promise! Benny, you're a young man with his whole life ahead of him. Don't spend it hiding out and in pain from being overweight! Trust your Heavenly Father to see you through this rough patch and let him give you the strength to get past this time of doubt. I was so worried about your decision yesterday, that I talked to my husband about you and told him how sad I was that you decided not to follow through on the surgery. I told him I thought you would regret it later on, especially if you no longer had the insurance that paid for WLS. I'm so glad that you haven't cancelled your surgery yet. Please pray about it and let God lead you in the right direction. I'll be praying for you, Benny. Don't give up yet, let God help you... God bless you and we love you and support you in anything you and God decide... Linda

Benny I agree with Linda about when it is our time to die. Dont focus on the bad focus on the good things that will come out of this surgery. You are such a young man that it is a shame for you not to have the surgery. Honey this life passes us by so quickly that it would be a shame for you to waste yours hiding in your bedroom not living life to its fullest. Fear is normal when you are deciding to have surgery but you have to leave it in the hands of the Lord. If you have any questions email Dena she can answer them . I really think you will regret it so much if you dont do this. Love and hugs. Jan

Only you know what your life is like at this moment, with all of this weight. Think about how you feel, how your living your life and ask yourself, "Is this living? Is this how I want to live for the rest of my life?" Yes you can try dieting again, and again, and again. Maybe you will be successful, but I gotta tell you the odds are not stacked in your favor, I'm sorry that's just a cold hard fact. If you do chose to diet I hope you can beat the odds, I don't want to sound un-encouraging, many people do lose it on their own but most don't keep it off, sad but true. You have been given a second chance, another shot at life with WLS and the odds are stacked way in your favor of going through the surgery flawlessly, having no life threatening issues, losing all the weight you want to lose, and keeping it off forever. Now THATS a life worth living!!! Ultimately it is your choice, and we will be there for you and support you nomatter what you chose. Just don't lose site of your goal, to be healthy!!

Benny I am so glad I picked up the phone and talked to you today. I totally understand where your coming from. Just remember that we are here for you no matter what your decision is. No matter what way you go. Love ya sweetie Melissa

Your feelings are normal. I kept thinking when I was trying to get this surgery, once I am approved I will never turn back or have any fears. But as soon as I found out that I had been approved, I was scared. I just prayed everyday about it and asked God to not let me leave my children yet. I now know that God had bigger plans for me. I am excited already about living my new life and have many friends that are excited for me too. I just told a few of DH's family and some of our long distance friends about me having the surgery 5/11/06 when we went to visit them this past week. They said they cannot wait to see me again next year when we get together because they know I will have a totally new outlook on life and that I will be loving the new me. Just remember God does not deal us anything that we cannot handle. This surgery is your chance at a new life. Take that chance and run with it. You will be glad you did.....

Benny I know how you feel. I did die a few years ago during a surgery. It was a very awesome experience for me. No I didn't see Jesus or God but I did see my sister who passed away years before. Her and I were so very close everyone used to ask if we were twins. Anyway I really think I was in Heaven or something very close to it. The feelings of love and peace were so strong I didn't want to leave. My sister told me it wasn't my time yet and pushed me back. So I am no longer afraid to die, but I know that there is some things that I must do before I can go back to that place. And as far as the WLS I had some friends ask me why? I told them that I just felt like I would be dead within two years if I didn't do it. Something was just telling me it was the thing to do. Well as you may or may not know my surgery didn't go as planed at all. I got the sleeve and not a bypass. I was told my lungs were bad and I had cirrhosis of the liver from being overweight. My health was worse than I knew. But Dr. Hornbostel and his staff are so well trained they took excellent care of me and I came out fine. Well now I am feeling better than I have felt in years. I have lost around 55 pounds and my jeans are starting to fall off. I am still very obese don't get me wrong. Wow sorry kind of got off subject there. LOL Anyway my dh was very worried about me having this surgery and I told Dr. Hornbostel about it and he said he hasn't lost anyone yet and I sure wasn't going to be his first one. Maybe if you talked to Dr. Hornbostel and let him know your fears he could help you. I really believe we are all here for only so long and then we are called home. Benny I would love to see your time you have left be better than what you are living now. You are such a wonderful man with so much potential; I would love to see you be healthier and happier. But no one can tell you what to do with your life. I want you to know that you are very much in my prayers and I am praying for God to give you guidance and for you to see what it is God wants for you. May The Lord bless and keep you May His face shine upon you And be gracious and give you peace Love Sky

Benny, You need to hang in there, as I said before sometimes I think we have to take a long look at ourselves and how we are going through life, we have to decide for ourselves if we want to just go through life and hide within ourselves or take life by the horn and start living. I have been as you I have been scared and depressed since my son died. But I finally turned my life over to God and excepted Jesus as my personal savior and I have been progressing ever since. When God gave me the chance to take my body and my health back I had reservations too. I had thoughts of dying on the surgery table, but I also knew that if I kept going as I am now I wasn't gonna live to see my husband retire. Benny we totally have to turn it over to Jesus, and tell Satan to get behind you in the name of Jesus, your life will get so much better and you will be able to stand up and say I'm ready to change my life for the better and take this surgery and use it to become the person that we know is ready to come out and live life. Praise the Lord and Amen. God Bless You. Brenda

Benny, I know that you don't know me that well yet but I have been keeping up with the messages and I agree with everyone that has wrote you so far. Leave all your fears at the altar, trust God, have faith in Him. We will be here to support you know matter what but let God lead the way! As for Mom, hey all us Moms are like that, well most anyway....your her baby too, if I read right. She loves you and our worst nightmares would be to lose one of our kids but I guarantee that she wants whats best for you as well. She wants you to be happy and healthy, running around doing the stuff that our boys do that drive us nuts but we love you guys anyway and wouldn't have it any other way! lol! To give you an example, I had a nightmare last night which involved my baby, a 21 yr. old male, he is the size of a linebacker, his name Jason. I won't tell you what the dream was about but it scared me so bad I called him today demanding for him to go get a full physical...he laughing and saying..."oh, Mom...it will be alright." I said, I know it will because your going to get a physical if I have to pay for it myself! He just laughs, he knows, it a mommy thing and he will just have to deal with it...besides he's going away to Bible College and has to have a physical anyway! I have had eight surgeries and am looking at 4 more, including Lap Band and I get scared to death with every single one, to the point that sometimes I have cried all the way into the operating room! They are use to it and they will help you through it....it is normal and they'd think somthing was wrong with you if you weren't scared! My Mom (God rest her soul) left us 3 years ago and I couldn't be at her side as she requested because I threw my back was out by just standing up! I was flat on my bac****il surgery where they fused L5-S1 together (my lower back). My weight was the cause of this and because of that...my Mom died alone. I'm not saying that anything like that could or would happen to you, as a matter of fact...God forbid you have to deal with anything like that, ever!! Just do what you need to do and everything else will fall into place! You know whats right for you, God knows whats right for you, have faith in Him, trust in Him and the two of you won't go wrong. ...Love & Prayer to all...Deb

Surgeries are scary, I had my gal bladder taken out a few years ago and I was very nervous. But think about this. Having WLS now, can prevent you from having open heart surgery later...I'd rather have the WLS.