"WLS Regrets" and "Failed WLS"

I haven't been able to sleep tonight, so I thought I would check out some of the other forums, and I want to tell you if you don't want to get discouraged stay away from the "WLS Regrets" and "Failed WLS" Forums VERY DEPRESSING!!! I'm not going there again!! Well I'm going to try and go to it's a little past 3:30 a.m. So I'll see you all on the flip side: Brenda

I sat here one day and read every profile in the memorial section, now THAT was depressing! Than I put it in perspective, how many deaths are caused BY obesity, than surgery for obesity??? Many, many more!!

Marcia: I Did that too There were several that passed waiting on surgery, and several that were killed in car accidents after they had WLS Even some that passed due to other health issues...so for me, it was very minimal as to those that passed because of the actual WLS itself. It only strengthened my resolve. BRENDA: STOP FREAKING OUT....WE ALL have fears, demons, hopes and dreams to deal with...take a pill, Put a sock in it...go for a walk, call someone, you have to get a handle on your nerves.

I think the story that bothered me the most was the one where the woman died about 4-6? months out from a blood clot and she was soooo happy, buying new clothes, and enjoying her new body, then all of a sudden she died with no warning. Oh, and the one where the poor woman lingered on and on for about a year all the while financially defistating her family. I try not to get depressed, but those things do happen. Yes I did think too, about allllllll those before/after pictures, all those (probably) thousands of stories on here of success and just a handfull of memorials, and a few of those were not WLS related. But then I thought well I'm sure there are many many more that died and OH never knew. If I were in surgery and died who on this board would know?? Nobody. And my husband wouldn't get on here or even think about it to let anyone know. But I also think God has a plan for us and we just have to choolse a good surgeon, follow everything our surgeon tells us to do by the letter, and pray everything will be okay.

I did the same thing when I first came online with OH. I think the first forum I read was the "regrets" and "failed". And if I wasn't already depressed, I sure was after I finished up with the "memorials". But like you, I thought about the deaths from obesity and compared to that WLS it's really not that big an issue. However, we must admit to ourselves there is a possibility that we won't pull through our surgeries and we must be ready to meet our Savior face-to-face. No matter what happens, you must believe it's God's will and it will be done. God bless us all... Linda

Good morning Brenda I just read your post and want to encourage you if I can. One of the things I've learned is this and this is what I'm taking with me when I have my surgery is that I'm a sojourner just passing through this land and that God has pre-ordained my date of arrival into and my departure from earth and I had nor have any say so over either day, it can happen by car, by stroke, heart attack (I had open heart surgery) or any illness that I have, yes and even surgery, but I do know this God is in control and everything will be okay. Relax Brenda and just remember that God has you and is with you, and stay away from anything that will cause you depression. And when you can't sleep spend that time talking with the Lord. Barb T. in KC.

You know, I've never been to the regrets and failed forums. I did, however, spend a lot of time at the memorial page. I went through and cataloged wheat everyone died from. Morbid, I know, but I just had to see what was going to kill me! It's good to be aware of what can happen, whether it's surgery failure, regrets, or even death, but you CAN'T obsess about it or you'll put yourself into hysterics. And unfortunately, it doesn't take much to freak me out! Pamela

Hi Brenda: I haven't been to the regrets and failed page yet. But I have been waiting for a while for a date. While waiting i have been going to the monthly group meetings for pre op, alot of the post op come to them to answer questions and discuss with us any issues we may have. I have heard some horror stories real horror stories there. However all of them mentioned they wouldn't hesitate to do it all over again. I find that I am more depressed waiting and waiting to have the surgery I know it isn't going to be an easy road to travel i am not fooling myself. I have don't research for a couple years before I even decided to talk to the dr. the first time about having this surgery. Anyway just wanted to touch on your subject and say hello. Hope you finally got some sleep, I have had some of those nights myself. Tressia

Brenda, I know what hit me the hardest on some of those... Being a mother of 3 young children myself and then reading about the other mothers who have passed or have had a really rough go.. It kinda tugged at my heart. I just keep reassuring myself that If I dont have this surgery I will never be able to run with my kids.. I will never be able to emotionaly and physically handle doing much with them at all. I get so tired and my feet and knee's swell up so badly just from going to the zoo for half an hour. I want to be able to live the rest of my life knowing that I tried everything I possibly could so I can be here for my family. Everyone always says that the Lord never gives us anything we cant handle. Well.. In my eyes that may be true but sometimes on the harder things we need to ask for help. In having surgery its my way of asking for help. I have never been much on asking anyone for anything so that is very hard for me to say this. But that is why we make and have friends. In times of need we all need someone to talk to and relate to. So this surgery is my way of asking for help.. To give me a tool to help me with my life. And I thank the Lord every day for giving me the strength to ask for help. Because I think thats what they mean when they say he will never give us more then we can handle. All we have to do is ask for help and it will be there in one shape or another. hugss.. Jai