My grandson...

I was talking with my kids about this surgery and what to expect from me, pre and post surgery. They are all grown and have lives of their own and were pretty understanding about what will be happening. But, later I was talking with my oldest grandson, whom is 7 about this surgery (at his level of thinking) and he doesn't want it done! He won't tell me why and he has never held his feelings back before, as least from me. He and I are VERY close. I almost cried, I was actually choking back the tears! The only thing my hubby could get out of him was the fact that grandma's are suppose to be fluffy!! He laughed about that but I still can't shake this feeling that theres something else bothering him and he won't talk about it. He even told me that he won'r love me anymore if I get skinny. I have had two back surgeries since he has been born so I know he is use to me being in the hospital and that doesn't seem to bother him. What could it be? Any suggestions? Deb

Hi Deb, I got the same reaction from my first g-daughter who is 16. She keeps saying if you get it done it won't work you still won't be able to lose weight. I found out with her she was afraid I would die. Maybe that's where his fears are? Maybe he can't say it that way, my g-daughter couldn't ether but we finally figured it all out. She still does not want me to have it done. But I explained to her why I had to. We have raised her most of her life and she still lives with us. I know she thinks of myself and her Papa as more then grandparents. She's never had a father and my daughter hasn't done well by her either. I hope this might help. Good Luck Brenda

You may very well be right....we have the same situation with our daughter. Our g-son lives with his Mom but he looks at her more like a sister and we are his parents. It's sad but it may be that he thinks he will lose me in the surgery, the one that has always been by his side, the one that has always had his back (as he puts it) would be gone. I will have to go a different way with him...maybe it will help him understand. He knows why I am going to do this but he just won't accept it. Also, he has a new baby sister and he thinks he needs me more now then ever before. That kinda makes me sounds conceded but I am his only grandma. Thanx for your help Brenda.......Deb

Debbie, My first thought was that he thinks you won't feel the same to him when you hug him.As he said Grandmas are supposed to be fluffy and it is comforting to have some big squishy arms to wrap around you when you are a little kid. It's nice if you think of it as "he loves you just as you are" and basically he just doesn't want you to change. He may be afraid your feelings will change as your looks do. It may take him a while to realize that skinny grandmas can love just as much and good as fluffy ones. Your weight loss will be gradual so he'll get used to you as it comes off and realize there was nothing to be scared of..which is the issue--he is scared of the change on you. I promise he will not really stop loving you. He loves you just as you are now and will love the"you" that you become. Good luck and just love him thru it. Dannielle