Some laughs to get the day going...

The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn't bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He held the bucket in front of his private parts and sighed with relief. The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said: 'You know , I have a special gift, I can read minds.' 'Really?' said the embarrassed man, 'You really know what I think?' 'Yes', the lady replied, 'Right now, I bet you think that the bucket you're holding has a bottom.' bottom in it! ***************************************************** Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Home > Depot when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like? The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long athletic legs, "real" big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts and a tank top. What does your wife look like?" The old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours." ************************************************************* Conversation--- Eve and God "Lord, I have a problem." "What's the problem, Eve?" "I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy." "And why is that Eve?" "Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "Man? What is that Lord?" "A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly." "Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch Lord?" "Well ..you can have him on one condition." "And what's that Lord? " "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring ... so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret..you know, woman to woman." ************************************************************ After an hour, the >> >following conversation took place: >> > >> >First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be >> >able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to >> >promise my wife that I will paint every room in our >> >house next weekend." >> > >> >Second guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife >> >that I will build her a new deck for the pool" >> > >> >Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to >> >promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for >> >her." >> > >> >They continue to fish when they realize that the >> >fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him, >> >" You haven't said anything about what you had to do >> >to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the >> >deal? >> > >> >Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it >> >wen t off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge >> >and said, "Fishing or sex?" and she said, "Wear >> >sun-block." Hope you all enjoy the 'funnies' and have a great day! God's richest blessings to everyone... Linda 41 days till surgery--

Linda Those were so cute. Thank you so much for the chuckle this morning!!!! God Bless Melissa

Linda: Many thanks for the smile on my face especially the one about Eve and God. Although I ended my day with them instead of starting it. It was greatly appreciated. Hope your day was delightful. Tressia