Keeping the secret

I know it may be hard to let people know about you WLS because of the attitudes that Pixielf spoke of..... but I feel like not talking about WLS ,(even to these people) perpetuates the stigma. It's like WLS patients keep their surgery a secret and act ashamed. What other life saving/perserving surgery would we be ashamed of ?Someone who diets to lose weight restricts the amount of food they eat (but have the option to over eat as often as they want )and are proud when they succeed. WLS patients make a choice that is permanant , completely life changing and far from easy yet keep their successes a secret due to societies incorrect assumptions about WLS and the "kind of people" who have it done. How will these small minded people ever learn the truth if no one tells them? Lives could be lost due to these falacies being circulated. Educating someone about the truth of WLS may save lives. It is good for people to know and hear about healthy normal WLS patients . Let this be the word that is spread because there are a lot more success stories than horror stories. There should be no secrets and or shame in saving your own life,in living to see your children grow up,in becoming mobile and productive nor in finding your self esteem. Avoiding the confrontation may be easier but it makes the road for those behind you harder. I am still behind you-waiting and hoping to one day find a means to have WLS. Please be proud of yourselves and all you've accomplished with this surgery. I am proud of you--very proud. Dannielle

Thanks for the encouraging words and you are right people need to know about this surgery because most perceive this as a waste of time or just so risky, while it may have its risk, there are so many that have been successful and life transforming. Since I made the decision to have it done I haven't kept it secret but some of the things people say shows just how little they know. Living with the co-morbidities is risky in itself. But let people think what they may i know what is best for me. Keep looking up it will happen for you. Barb T. in KC.

Thank you for taking the time to put up a thought provoking post.... One thing that I do want clarified first and foremost regarding MY post that I put up. I am not ashamed of having WLS nor do I shy away from any type of confrontation in life regarding "learning" someone about WLS in general. I am and have always been a very private person. In every aspect of my life and not just medically. It isn't just about WLS...it is about EVERYTHING. My personal life and my personal medical life is MY business and I don't discuss it with ANYONE save for close family members. I feel very uncomfortable around folks that trot out such personal info. around casual acquaintances or coworkers... I mean if it works for them FINE......but that is just ME. It is who I am just as who you are is well....*LOL* WHO YOU ARE. I have been around these people for YEARS. YEARS. I know them inside and out and nothing that you could say would change their opinion whether it is about WLS or anything else. Their way IS the only way and that is the way it is. I am not about to go bashing my head against the proverbial brick wall in trying to educate them. Been there, done that and don't care to go back again. I know what it is like to battle to have this surgery. I know what it is like to wait for years.... wait, hope, dream and plan and then POOF... the dream vanishes once again. I have been through denial after denial. I have fought the good fight and I DID WIN. What is right for me is right for me. What is right for you is right for you. Each person is an individual and noone should make another feel badly (meant or otherwise) about their choice that they make regarding their personal information. Until someone stands in these shoes that I am wearing and walks what I walk daily... they just wouldn't understand..... Please understand that I am not meaning to sound harsh over your decision to be very public regarding your surgery.... but please understand that I have the right to be private regarding mine. Wishing you nothing but the best! Elizabeth~

Elizabeth, Please understand that I was in no way trying to criticize your post. I was only using it as a reference since I didn't get to read it until a few days later. I agree that each and every person has to make the decision that is right for them as to disclosing the fact that they had surgery. I wanted to bring up this topic for those who didn't think about the reasons they should be open about or those who were feeling self conscious about having weight loss surgery. Of course ,the horror stories are passed around a lot more than the success stories. This is why I feel it is so important for anyone who is brave enough to step up and get the word out that this surgery is saving lives. My post was not meant as an insult so please do not take it that way. I'm still here fighting to get surgery and each and every success story that is told helps pave the way to changing the minds of those who think this surgery is so dangerous or an easy way out-the minds of those in control of the insurance polices and approvals. If we all work together-the pre-ops and post- ops we can fight for the rights that we are being denied as equal human beings. Dannielle

Dannielle Good words of wisdom!!!!! I am very proud of you. I agree with you, that is why people make such stupid comments about WLS is cause they dont know enough about it. Your in my thoughts and prayers and I am believeing that you will get yours one day. Take Care Melissa

Dannielle, I think that those who decide to share their stories are very brave. I sympathize with Pixielf because she obviously works with a bunch of small-minded folks and for her not sharing is the best choice. Don't fight a battle of wits with un-armed people. However, if possible, I think sharing is a positive thing for most folks. Keeping any secret is hard. And don't most of us over 55 remember when no one spoke of breast cancer because they had to say the word breast!!! Now, thanks to courageous people like Betty Ford and others, breast cancer is being caught earlier and earlier with dramatically successful cure/remission rates. That same thing can happen for morbidly obese people when surgery becomes easier to obtain and even more of an everyday occurance. So, we are the forefront and need to keep nudging insurers and physicians and anyone who has a say about WLS and let them know how it changes peoples lives and health. Perhaps we should write and thank our insurance companies and let them know how our health has changed. Kind words never hurt anyone and are really cheap!!! I hope to get approval some day and join those of you who have a date. Pray for me for next winter!!! Thanks. Lovely Lana

Dannielle, I commend you for your advocacy regarding keeping everyone apprised and active in the legislation issues regarding weight loss surgery, and with this post. I appreciate you stepping forward and discussing this issue. As I've stated in previous posts, I was very private when I made the decision to have surgery. I didn't want the finger-waggers in my face telling me how I was going to die and what a silly decision I was making. As I lost weight and proved to myself and others that this was a healthy decision for my life, I didn't feel comfortable not being honest about how I was losing weight. If I told people that I was only eating right, portion control and exercising, that wasn't the entire truth. I didn't want to promote someone walking away feeling less about themselves because they couldn't lose weight like I supposedly was by eating right, portion control and exercising. However, with that being said, it is a highly personal decision. I think everyone walks their own path and has cir****tances and people in their life they don't want to open up that part of themselves to. That would be difficult and challenging. I agree with your post and the points you raise. I especially love the response post regarding breast cancer. Thankfully, breast cancer is now discussed mainstream. I know by it being in the forefront of medical issues that has saved lives. I walked in the 3-Day 60 mile Breast Cancer walk where thousands of people participated in, and raised impressive funds towards a cure. It was one of the most rewarding and moving experiences of my life ever! A few months later I walked in the 5k Walk From Obesity where less than 75 participated. I look forward to the day that morbid obesity and weight loss surgery shares some mainstream prominence. One of the ways to combat the short-sighted negativity is by bringing it out of the shadows of shame and guilt. Thank you for your thoughtful post and for stepping forward yet again in such a positive way. (I wish I was a bariatric surgeon because I'd be honored to do your surgery!!!) Thanks again, Cathy ObesityHelp Support Group Specialist

I think it's great that there ARE people out there who are willing to eductate others on WLS. I'm one of the ones who would prefer not to, not that I'm ashamed of it or the fact that I couldn't lose the weight myself. There are a few reasons that I just don't want to talk about it, one is because I'm having this surgery to regain control of my life. I'm going to be forced to deal with my decision on a daily basis when I eat and exercise. I want my social life to be MINE and not my surgery's. I don't want to have to talk about it 10 times a day every time I run into someone I know. If they comment that I am losing a lot of weight, I'll say thank you for noticing. If they are rude enough to come out and ask how I am losing it all, I'll more than likely let them know how rude I think that is, very nicely but POSSIBLY leaving out the fact that I had WLS. I'm a private person. I just don't LIKE to talk about myself and I think that if you tell someone that you have had/are palnning to have WLS, you've invited them to question you and give you their opinions, whether this is what you've intended or not. So, for those of you who do want to shout it to the mountain tops...lol..god bless you for doing it cuz it sure ain't gonna be me. Lia