Anyone else go through this??

I love my family but they are driving me nuts. I never planned to hide the fact that I'm going to have weightloss surgery but I didn't want everyone and their mother to know. Do you guys know what I mean? I haven't even got a surgeon yet and already people are asking me how it's coming along. I walk into the room and I hear my mother telling people everything that's going on with my Medicare and why I haven't had my surgery yet. I swear to you that every single member of my family (aunts, uncles, 2nd & 3rd cousins) know. Now, because they know my business, they all feel they have the right to give me their opinions on WLS. They're family and just showing that they care and because they aren't really TRYING to be rude, I listen and try to either reassure them or just plain ole let them think what they want. On top of that, my sister got a call today while I was at her house. My sister's father, my step-father, has a niece who died today. I haven't seen her in more than 10 years and I can't even recall so much as her last name. Apparently she had WLS 2 weeks ago and from what we were told, she had a blood clot that went to her brain causing a massive stroke. I'm not sure if my step-father knew about me before this or if my sister told him today but when he found out that I want WLS he freaked out. He started telling my sister that this surgery has a 50% death rate, blah, blah, blah. My sister was trying to tell him that those numbers weren't right and reassure him but he was upset and didn't want to hear any of it. I know the facts, I've been researching this for over 3 years. Thi**** close to home but I'm not giving up. I know my family is going to be concerned, so here I am at 3am...lol...diggin up WLS facts to help me through the next few days. She died from a blood clot, which could happen to anyone regardless of the type of surgery. Hopefully that fact alone will head off any concerns. Like I said at the beginning of this, I love my family....I just wish they didn't feel the need to share my business with the world...lol Sorry my rant was so long and thanks for putting up with me, Lia

their you family and because they are they love you and are concerned. But tell any of them that are really concerned to please get all the facts before they form an opion. Obesity help website is one of the best places to gather information from. And you are right about the blood clot. It can happen with any surgery and even not having surgery. If someone sits all the time it can cause one. long plane trips seem to cause them too. So just grin and bear it and let them know that as an informed adult that you know what you are doing. I sure the part about your family always talking about it is more of being proud of you and concern than being nosey. Love you girl. Hope this make some sense .Check the time.Jan

lol..now you CANNOT tell me that you were working in your garden at 4am...lol...do you ever sleep? Recently, my sister went to 3rd shift and for me this means a shift from babysitting 6:30am - 3:30pm to babysitting 2:30pm - 11:30pm, which I love because I cannot stand to get up early in the morning and I can now sleep until noon...lol..check the time!! I still have sleep in my eyes and I'm loving every second of it. Honeslty I have always been a night person, I prefer to stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning. Anyway, thanks for the support. I had a talk with my sister last night about telling people about this surgery and she understands. I don't think I'm going to talk to my mother about it though, I think you're right, she is proud and I don't want to hurt her feelings. Lia

Everyone is going to try and discourage you but dont let them have that power over you. I had little to no support from anyone when I made my decision to have wls and when my cardiologist told me I probably would die on the operating table as my heart was too weak I lost what little support I had. I am as stubborn as a Missouri mule and had sugery anyway. My surgery went fine and as I lost weight and did well everyone came on board and my wife even had surgery six months after I had my surgery. Be successul and they will come on board. I dont know why everyone will give you horror stories but they do. Since you have done your homework and know what is going on be confident and have your surgery. Losing weight doing well will get everyone to come on board and be supportive and you wont hear any more horror stories.

David, Thanks for the support. It must have been hard not having much support going through all of that. I've explained the risks to my family and they know my health problems, so I have atleast 2 or 3 ALMOST unswerving supporters. I don't want to sound uncaring but my step-father and his family aren't at all close to me, their opinions don't matter to me. I'm sad that she died but she isn't me. Thanks again, Lia

you need to be true to you,er own convisions, you know what you need to do to make you,er life last.longer and be healthyer, they can not decied it for you. i went throu the very same thing 6 years study talked it over with my family they didn,t aprove then some did. finaly i gave every one this web site give them my profie # to get in and said i have decided to do this if you want to know how its going log in reed my profile i update it when i can it worked . not full prof but it stoped alot of trivial things i did.nt want to deal with at the time .now i,m 3 mo out 57lb lighter and i spent 3 weeks in hosp. because of complications and a second surgery. due to a blown blood vessil .i was wondering what i'd done to myself. but now 3mo out i'd do it again. hang in there it will be worth it and remember that with all the surgerys like this still only 2% end in death the first 3mo. and thous were bad cases berfor the surgery because of other illnesses.

Hey Lia, Girl your from the same area I'm from. I live north of Poplar Bluff, about 40 miles. I used to work at Lucy Lee Hospital. Worked there 10 years up until I became disabled. I have the same thing happening to me, I had not planned on telling to many people because they usually cop an attitude about how fat people are lazy and they are only doing the surgery because "it's the easy way to lose weight". I would like to inform them all that it is not, that it takes a lot for a person to get to the point of having WLS. But what's the use they have already formed there opinion. My daughter is a nurse and I think she has told everybody about my surgery, it's not in a bad way, she's just not one to stay quiet about anything. I think she started telling some of the people she works with because they were saying things like "boy your mom sure has put on alot of weight" and then when she told them, they said "she's not that heavy, she doesn't need to have that kind of surgery". So I decided you can't win so just let them think what they want to. I am doing this for myself and my health and not for anyone else! Hang in there!

So you know how small this town is...lol...My grandmother volunteers in the Cancer Center at Lucy Lee and has for years. I noticed that most of the people who try to warn me off of WLS have NO IDEA what they're talking about...lol...they hear WEIGHTLOSS SURGERY and I can almost immediately tell if they are the paranoid uninformed sort and I know that I gotta get outta there fast or spend the next 20 minutes argueing with them and wanting to pull my hair out. Now that I think about it, those people are the main reason I don't want my family telling people that I'm going to have WLS...lol Lia