Marsha, you are preaching to the choir and there is a reluctance to post a remedy as we all are in a similar boat. Remember when you were estatic to reach "Wonderland!!!?" Now you are afraid of the same number. I will only give two items of note here.

1. Love yourself and find a different way to fill your emptiness.

2. Mindful eating starts today and not tomorrow. The  mañana  diet NEVER works.


     You aren't lost, you just wandered off course for a bit, get back on track TODAY!

Maybe this article could help:

http://health.yahoo.net/articles/weight-loss/photos/25-ways- cut-500-calories-day#0 

Hi Sarsha (big hug).  You shouldn't feel shame, you came on here and did a very difficult thing by making this post and I applaude your courage.  You realize that you need to make changes and that's a good thing.  Now the beer is NOT good.  I don't want you to damage your liver and end up sick or dead.  That worries me.  I would absolutley drink more than once in awhile if I could.  I feel like **** the next day even if I have just a little, not every time, but most.  I get what you are saying about it numbing your problems, I miss a good buzz  myself.  But please, please, please be careful.  It's a slippery slope.  I will cheer you on and help you in anyway that I can.  You know how to get ahold of me I think.  PM me if you  want.

You are a great gal Marsha, your wit and kindness drew me in right away.  I've not been around much either, but have thought about you and wondered how you were.

Get through the holidays and make the commitment to make the changes because you deserve it!

Tess

this is so sad.  I saw him as part of his project and he was very kind to me.

I have no comments on the VSG, but maybe a VSGer can weigh in on this.

-Does it seem drastic? Yes. But it has a proven track record. Best track record for weight loss and remission of type II diabetes. The malabsorption helps keep the weight loss more permanent (though it is possible to eat your way through a DS, just like it is possible to eat your way through a RNY, VSG, Band).

-I do take a lot of vitamins, but I do NOT spend $150 a month on them. I just recently did a re-stock on **6 months** of vitamins from Vitalady, I spent just over $300. I don't get all my vites from her, but I will probably drop another $50-100 for 6 months worth of the other vites I need. Considering how much I was paying on co-pays for prescriptions before I lost all my weight, it's money well spent. I probably drop about $30/month on protein supplements, but you may not consider that necessary until after you can get all your protein from food. I just like drinking protein shakes.
I do keep an 6-month stash of vites available, and since I am only 30-something, I havne't really given too much thought to being in the nursing time. I'm hoping I will be ok when the time comes, but only time will tell. There are elderly DS patients out there who are thriving, so I will cross my fingers that I'll get there, too.

-I have one BM a day. In the morning, when a first wake up, and in the privacy of my own home. Does it smell? Oh hell yes. But BMs from normal people smell, too, so... eh? Yes, mine smell kind of bad, but I have Ozium, I take Devrom if I am worried about exposing others to my BM smell (which has rarely happened). My BMs were a bit more frequent for my first 2 months, but that's because there's a bit of an adjustment period.
And my gas production is pretty much tied to my diet. If I eat too much sugar or white flour carbs, there is gas, and it does not smell pretty. I can eat moderate amounts of sugar and white flour carbs and be ok.

-I am only a year out,  I can't really answer the question about losing too much weight. I have seen a few people on the DS board talk about how they are losing too much weight, but it seems like most of them were lightweights to begin with.
There are also digestive enzymes (like Creon) that can be taken to slow down weight loss if it's really that drastic. But Dr. I cuts his common channel pretty conservatively (100 cm for all patients), so the chances of you losing too much weight are minimal.

As for losing weight the "old fashioned way" -- just how many diets have you been on in your lifetime? How many attempts have you made? I can give you a horrifyingly long list of things I have done in the name of losing weight. If diet and exercise eally word for everyone, there would be NO NEED for bariatric surgery at all. But it doesn't work for everyone... in fact, 95% of people who lost weight that way will gain at least some, if not ALL of it back.
I'll put it another way... if you had cancer, you'd get chemo and treatment, you wouldn't just hope that it'd go away, right? Obesity is not cancer, but there are tools and treatments for helping

If you are in the Twin Cities area, I stronly encourage you to come to one of our DS group meetings, meet with some other DSers. PM me w/ your email address and I can toss you an invite to our December and January meetings from Facebook. Also, get yourself on the DS board and read EVERYTHING.

I have heard a lot of wonderful things about Dr. Ikramuddin, and he has a great track record so far.

If you're right on the line for BMI, you may be able to appeal the >50 BMI requirement if they deny you on those grounds.