Persistent Dragon Butt

 

 

 

Persistent Dragon Butt

 

Weight loss surgery creates many changes in your life; most are good, some are very difficult, and a few are just plain weird.  During the rapid weight loss phase, many people wake up in the morning with ketosis-driven dragon breath of the sort that neither mouthwash nor brushing your teeth can even begin to address.  I don’t think that I have that kind of dragon breath in the morning any more, but at almost 3 years out I do know that I have persistent dragon butt.  For the first hour after I wake up all sources of open flame must be avoided for fear that I might be responsible for incinerating my surroundings.  Seriously.  It even embarrasses ME sometimes, the man who thinks every fart reference in a book or a movie is funny, who has written and publicly disclosed poetry and prose related to the joy of farting, and who, at age 50, is still proud of being able to make exceptionally loud fake fart sounds. 

 

Am I the only one who suffers from this dreaded malady?

 

RP

Thank you so much!!!!  I was one (and a woman) would never admit I FART!!!  Hell -NO not me!!! omg....since my surgery ...I have not stopped!!   

Perhaps there should be an annual farting contest for WLS folks called Fartapalooza..

Considering my nickname and my love for Dragons...could we re-name this malady something else?? Maybe like Platypus Butt...or  Orangutan Butt?? 

I know...I know...it just doesn't have the same ring to it!!

Orangutan butt occurs when one's backside becomes an incendiary device.  Not sure what platypus butt might be.

 I have the opposite problem.. haha. I want to fart but I can't. I keep threatening my husband that I will fart on his head but when I try... it's a no-go. 

I'm so romantic... I know. 

If you really need to fart on your husband's head, you might consider consuming more fiber, including beans.  It might be even more romantic if you made him purchase the beans himself.

Ah, yes.... FARTS.  One of my personal favorite subjects!  (And WHY THE HELL IS THAT???)

After putting up with my husband's impressive gas for almost 17 years with hardly more than a pathetic little SQUEAK in rebuttal  (hehe... I said 'butt' - sort of !),  WLS has pretty much helped me catch up.  

Actually, tho, I've probably surpassed him in the 'odor' category.  He can still blow me away in sheer volume and duration (seriously?  I need to put a noise-activated stop watch on his night stand just to document the LENGTH of his farts  ). 

But for pure noxiousness?  I WIN!!!   

I don't seem confined to morning, tho.  In fact, I'm a round-the-clock farter.  If I had to identify any particular setting that seems prominant, I'd have to say - with my kids, in a moving car, in the dead of winter.  That's when I really shine 

Well, congratulations on your superior olfactory capability!   I should have clarified that while morning is the most productive part of my day, that I don't hold back during the rest of the day...or when I sleep, apparently.

Oh My!  Yes, I do have to agree that the flatulence dragon has entered my life and is making no move to leave.  It's gotten so bad that I do my best to wait until I'm alone for fear of scaring small children and animals.