Totally OT, but need to vent frustration - stupid female parts :(

On December 6, 2010  I had surgery at Abbott to remove my 7cm cyst, and to do a hysterectomy.  My surgeon chose to do the hysterectomy at this time because I had extremely heavy periods due to anti-coagulants that I will be on for life.  Every month I would suffer from dizziness, and I had ongoing anemia.

I was told that by 4 weeks out everything should be healed enough to resume "normal" activities, and that the bleeding would be done - never to be seen again.

For those of you who know about my complications after my RNY, it will probably come to no surprise that things did not go as smoothly as promised.  Five weeks post surgery, I started having extremely heavy bleeding (soaking through an overnight pad within an hour), and passing very large clots.  After 1 week of this, and having to go to emergency to make sure that everything was OK, they finally got my anti-coagulation in order.  The bleeding went back to spotting - heavily - but not as bad as it was. 

I had a follow-up with my surgeon who said that nothing has healed over yet, the stitches were still visible, and to avoid "normal " activities for another few weeks, and hopefully the bleeding would stop now.

It is now 2 weeks later, and I'm still spotting.  I've had to go in for numerous blood tests to ensure that my hemoglobin isn't dropping, and a CT to make sure that the severe pain low in my abdomen wasn't caused by internal bleeding.

Everything came back normal, and no one has any answers other than my anti-coagulants are to blame.  Seeing as I've had 2 DVTs in the left calf, and the last one had several break off into my right lung, I can't exactly stop my anti-coagulants.

Hence my frustration.  I am almost 8 weeks post-op, still bleeding, and still unable to resume any type of  "normal" activity with my husband.  I wasn't even out of commission this long after having my 2 kids.

Besides venting, just wondering if anyone else has had any similar problems post hysterectomy?  Bleeding lasting longer than expected, not healing as quickly as they would like?  I guess I'm just trying to figure out if I'm a freak of nature that seems to follow the rule that if something could go wrong it will.  

I'm an emotional mess right now, struggling with another weight plateau, hormones out of whack, and now never ending side effects.  My cold turned into a sinus infection, and my husband is on a business trip for 4 days.

Thanks for listening, and listening to my whining. 

I will admit that my initial reaction to the title of your post was smart alecky.....basically that all female parts are good and not at all stupid, but then I read your post and felt bad for even thinking that way.  You have obviously been and are going through a lot, more than most have experienced with both the complications from your weight loss surgery and your current female issues, yet you have been very successful with your weight loss and are dealing with your female issues with great determination while actively seeking some support.  Give yourself credit for those accomplishments.  I know things are really tough for you right now, but from an outsider's perspective I just have to say that I admire your courage in the face of this onslaught of challenges.  Today I stand in awe of you and I am pretty sure that I am not alone.

RP

RP,

Thank you for your kind words.  It may just be my hormones, but you brought tears to my eyes.  Sometimes I just feel like such a failure - I can't even have surgery right!   Your words were touching, and made my day.  To think that someone would think of me as courageous and not a whiner (My mom told me to just deal with it, stuff happens, stop whining about things you can't change) just greatly lifted my spirits.

You are an inspiration to me, the way you share your personal struggles and successes with us all without a thought to what anyone thinks.  Thank you for giving me the courage to share my struggle with others, to reach out for support when I need it. 

Nicole:

I am glad my words helped you a little.  You are not a failure.  Something about your biology makes recovery from surgery difficult.  That is not a choice you made, it just is.  It does take real courage to face physical and emotional struggles.  It takes more courage yet to reach out for support when you need it.  None of us here need to struggle alone.  God and some of my WLS friends know that have had to learn that particular lesson the hard way...and more than once because I am a stubborn man.  Good luck with your recovery.

Take care,

Rick

 None of us posting here are doctors, and your issues have been a huge challenge. I don't even have a clue as to the total of your frustrations, because I can barely handle my life's issues and they are small in comparison. 
  We are here with you and wish only to walk with you to success and health. Vent, rant, scream if you must, but do not lose perspective or hope. 
  I am glad you love your husband enough to be frustrated at this point, but I know your husband and he is a quality man and will love you in through this situation.

Paul,

Thanks for the permission to vent!  I sometimes feel weird posting something that is OT, but I needed to talk to someone.  Brett is a great man, and the best husband I could ask for.  He is extremely patient and understanding, and he's helped me through a lot in the last year or so. 

We are both getting frustrated that I just can't do things the easy way.  I've had 3 rounds of ulcers now, 15 weeks of IV therapy (just as recently as this month), and more doctors appointments than any one person should have.  My prescription costs are through the roof, and I've already hit my out-of-pocket for the whole year in the last 3 weeks.

It's just nice to know that there are people to listen to you, who understand some of my frustrations, and don't criticize me or judge me.

Thank you for being there to cheer me up - more than once now!!  I hope to see you at coffee tomorrow.

Nicole,

OMG, I can't even imagine what you are going through.....You've been through so much, and I agree with everything RP said.....

You can rant, scream, anytime.....I think you have handled all of your issues very well, and I feel you have done AMAZING with your WL through it all.....You must be a strong women....Because I don't know if I could do it.....So keep hanging in there....The hormones will be running wild from what I have heard.....So lean on those that support you, and come here for all the support you need.....

Too bad your hubby had to leave on business, but from meeting him, I know he would be there with you if he could be....He loves you, and I'm sure feels horrible for you.....

I will pray that you get some relief and that things heal up and the bleeding stops......Hang in there.....

Kelly

Whine away, you have good reason.

I had my hysterectomy in '02, thanks to having a serious issue with fibroids, and I deserved every nasty emotion I felt, as do you.   (I had one "monthly" that lasted EIGHT  !~*(&)@ 'n MONTHS, with only TWO DAYS free from "Aunt Flo".    Anemic?  Check.  Crabby?  Check.  Whiny?  Check.) 

I did not suffer post-op as you are, so I can't really address that, I only suggest you take whatever time your body needs to heal.  That, right now, is much more important than resuming "normal activity' with your husband, and although I haven't met either of you, I'd have to assume he would put your health and healing ahead of - well, 'normal activity'.

Take the plateau out of the picture - they're pretty normal.  As a matter of fact, at some point, "plateau" = "maintaining".  If your doc can help you out with some kind of hormone therapy to regulate your emotions, go for it.  If not, buy a pillow and smack the hell out of it whenever you feel the need.

And yes, coming here to vent is always allowed. 

First of all, I think it's so sweet that the first two replies were from guys!!!  Some list servs they wouldn't even address a post like that.  We truly have some renaissance men here!  Gott love that.

You got such good feedback from everyone, I can only chime in and say, hang in there!  You are doing what you can, and being alone during such trauma with your husband away, only added to the feelings.  Take care and know you have support here.