Confessions of a Serial Farter (considerably OT)

There has been a great deal of stress in my life of late and my emotions have been running amok.  I decided that writing something silly and juvenile would be a nice distraction from all of that.

 

Confessions of a Serial Farter

 

So, I admit to having repeatedly farted

My efforts in that regard have not been half-hearted

I have farted here and I have farted there

Apparently I have farted almost everywhere

In an actual castle and on a boat

Once in the company of a goat

Sometimes I pray my soul to keep

Begging forgiveness for farting in my sleep

I tell you all of this you see

Because I even fart while I pee

I am afraid that my farts are seldom quiet

Due, I suspect, to my high-fiber diet

I give you this warning in the interest of being fair

Should you happen upon some decidedly foul-smelling air.

 

RP

 

 I figure with some practice we might be able to have a musical choir.

Excellent concept.  Not to brag, but occasionally I can emit such sound two tones at the same.

I find farting much more entertaining now that I'm on the GIVING end of things!  I spent 18 years tolerating a very flatulent husband.  Thanks to my RNY, I made up for lost time - because frankly, MY emissions are MUCH more noxious than the noise pollution my husband is so talented with!

I like spicy foods and I'm not afraid to use 'em - Payback is a ***** and her name is Darla!!

I like spicy foods and I'm not afraid to use 'em - Payback is a ***** and her name is Darla!!

hahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!   You are woman, hear you roar....litterally.

 

 Practice practice practice.

I wonder how people would take it if I told them I played the tooter?

As long as they don't hear you wrong and think you told them you play WITH your tooter.  That would just be - well, just don't make that mistake.  It would be difficult to live down, at best.

I love this forum. I learn so much.

In this case I am pretty sure you learned far more than you wanted to know.