The Hermit
The Hermit
I awoke this morning feeling unsettled and anxious about I know not what. That feeling hasn’t yet dissipated entirely. It is on days like this that I most want to be a hermit, isolated from everything and everyone, holding myself at a safe distance from the pain and sorrow I see in others, hoping to be able to tolerate my own perceived failings until the world looks brighter once again.
I have long been able to see imperfections in myself and how I relate to others. Too often in the past I focused on those imperfections, believing that others saw only those things in me. That was a skewed and incomplete perspective; one that dragged me down the road to obesity, awash in self-loathing, unable to cope with what I was seeing in a healthy way. I have worked very, very hard to change that perspective, to see myself more completely, to accept that there is some good in me, perhaps even things that other people might appreciate.
The support I have received since weight loss surgery a little more than two years ago has helped me immensely in terms of how I look at myself. On most days now I see myself in a positive light. Today is just not one of those days. I am sorely tempted to run away and hide, to shut out the rest of the world out, to wallow alone in the misery of self-doubt. Ugh. I am determined not to be a hermit.
RP
Do yourself a favor and run a search through this board for your prior posts. I want to you see yourself as those of us who know you through this board see you: as an inspiration, as a mentor, as constant positive support for others. I know it's not always easy to see yourself as others do, but you are such a great contributor and cheerleader for the rest of us!
Don't shut out the rest of the world, because the rest of the world loves and respects you! We need you, RP!
