Go Jump in the Lake (OT)

Go Jump in the Lake

I think it is generally true that after weight loss surgery a person has more freedom to choose what they do physically.  Most of the time that is a wonderful thing; sometimes the choices one now makes are questionable.  I will admit that my tale here falls in the latter category. 

This past Sunday afternoon found me preparing our lake property in northern Minnesota for the coming winter.  One of the tasks involved in that effort was to pull our swim platform to shore from where it was anchored in 8 feet of water.  Since I had already winterized the boat and hung up the kayak, my only immediately available mode of transportation out to the swim platform was by paddle boat.  There is nothing particularly dignified about a 50 year old man operating a small bright purple paddle boat, so I paddled out to the platform and disembarked as quickly as possible.  It was then that I realized that there were no other boats on our quiet little lake, an observation that has a bearing on the rest of this story.

We use two anchors on the swim platform to prevent it from floating away, which worked altogether too well.  Both anchors had become firmly silted in by the fine sand and muck at the bottom of the lake over the course of the summer.  It took me more than an hour to get the first anchor loose; the second proved to be recalcitrant and simply would not budge.  In frustration, I decided to dive down to the bottom of the lake to see what I could do with it.  It was 75 and sunny, a beautiful fall day.  However, it is also October in northern Minnesota, a time for duck hunting over cold water, not diving.  Nevertheless, I jumped in the lake and dove down to the anchor.  After a few seconds, I was uncomfortably reminded of a Seinfeld episode in which the George Costanza character discusses the concept of “shrinkage".  Good God it was cold!  I hurried to get out of the water, barely able to catch my breath. 

With no way to free the anchor, I cut the anchor rope.  Certain that I looked just like a modern-day Huck Finn, I used a push-pole to propel the swim platform and the paddle boat to shore, shivering in my BVDs.

RP