OT, personal, and long.
I feel like such a hypocrite sometimes.
I come here and post advice and suggestions that make it sound like I'm some kind of 'perfect little soldier', when in fact, I'm not. I struggle just as much as everyone else, so right now, I'm reaching out.
There has been a ridiculous amount of stress in my life recently. Actually, it's been over a year and a half since I've felt somewhat care-free. My daughter has been in a relationship with a young man I call ASS WIPE since July of '09. He has proven himself to be a pathetic human being - I would even say he's emotionally abusive to my daughter. He has threatened to kill himself if she breaks up with him, pesters her with non-stop texts/calls/FB messages, it's enough to make me want to personally castrate him! But - she inherited my weight problems, so she feels like he's as good as she can do. Even tho she's sick of him, angry with him way more often than not, and KNOWS that her mama DETESTS the ******* she hasn't yet broken it completely off with him. I pray the Good Lord will help her do the right thing.
Also, my husband - we have issues, and are trying to work through them with the help of a counselor. He has been really quite sick off and on since March of '09. Sinus issues led to surgery, a vicious cough, and several trips to the ER. He has also been unemployed since then - TRYING to get his own painting business up and running, but he doesn't have the business skills. He's a heckuva good painter, but guess who has had to take care of all the bookkeeping and such - in addition to my full time job?
Things have been fairly calm for the past few months, but he has done some things that made me just about throw in the towel - I confronted him in the safety of our counselor's office, and he finally broke down, as did I. Shortly after that episode, he developed shingles, followed by a nasty ass cold, and for the past couple of weeks, a killer cough. I mean, the kind of cough that makes my kids actually CRY out of fear, and makes me wonder just what sort of internal organ I may find in the sink once he's through. He even suggested that God is punishing him for what he did.
He was finally admitted to the hospital Friday night - had been told on the 3rd, 'you have pneumonia', followed on the 7th by 'you don't have pneumonia'. A second trip to the ER Friday night, a second set of xrays, and about a quart of blood later, he was told he DOES have pneumonia, and it appears to be worse than it was on the 3rd (no, really???
). So he was admitted, given multiple breathing treatments and put on oxygen. And told on Saturday, 'we don't think you have pneumonia'. WTF??? His blood ox. level is hovering around 90, even WITH the canula in his nose feeding him pure oxygen. So he's had a CT, and today a scope, and we still don't have any answers. Part of me is terrified of the "C" word, part of me is so emotionally exhausted I don't even want to go see him until there is a diagnosis and a plan in place.
So how do you suppose I'm inclined to cope? Well, Saturday I had a full-blown breakdown, crying in front of my kids and screaming at God "ENOUGH, ALREADY!!!" And did you notice Cub had a deal on their E.L. Fudge cookies last week???
It's hard. I have NOT been as bad as I would have been pre-WLS, and for that I'm thankful. But damn...
So if any of you are so inclined, and have a prayer to spare,
I'd be very grateful.
I come here and post advice and suggestions that make it sound like I'm some kind of 'perfect little soldier', when in fact, I'm not. I struggle just as much as everyone else, so right now, I'm reaching out.
There has been a ridiculous amount of stress in my life recently. Actually, it's been over a year and a half since I've felt somewhat care-free. My daughter has been in a relationship with a young man I call ASS WIPE since July of '09. He has proven himself to be a pathetic human being - I would even say he's emotionally abusive to my daughter. He has threatened to kill himself if she breaks up with him, pesters her with non-stop texts/calls/FB messages, it's enough to make me want to personally castrate him! But - she inherited my weight problems, so she feels like he's as good as she can do. Even tho she's sick of him, angry with him way more often than not, and KNOWS that her mama DETESTS the ******* she hasn't yet broken it completely off with him. I pray the Good Lord will help her do the right thing.
Also, my husband - we have issues, and are trying to work through them with the help of a counselor. He has been really quite sick off and on since March of '09. Sinus issues led to surgery, a vicious cough, and several trips to the ER. He has also been unemployed since then - TRYING to get his own painting business up and running, but he doesn't have the business skills. He's a heckuva good painter, but guess who has had to take care of all the bookkeeping and such - in addition to my full time job?
Things have been fairly calm for the past few months, but he has done some things that made me just about throw in the towel - I confronted him in the safety of our counselor's office, and he finally broke down, as did I. Shortly after that episode, he developed shingles, followed by a nasty ass cold, and for the past couple of weeks, a killer cough. I mean, the kind of cough that makes my kids actually CRY out of fear, and makes me wonder just what sort of internal organ I may find in the sink once he's through. He even suggested that God is punishing him for what he did.
He was finally admitted to the hospital Friday night - had been told on the 3rd, 'you have pneumonia', followed on the 7th by 'you don't have pneumonia'. A second trip to the ER Friday night, a second set of xrays, and about a quart of blood later, he was told he DOES have pneumonia, and it appears to be worse than it was on the 3rd (no, really???
). So he was admitted, given multiple breathing treatments and put on oxygen. And told on Saturday, 'we don't think you have pneumonia'. WTF??? His blood ox. level is hovering around 90, even WITH the canula in his nose feeding him pure oxygen. So he's had a CT, and today a scope, and we still don't have any answers. Part of me is terrified of the "C" word, part of me is so emotionally exhausted I don't even want to go see him until there is a diagnosis and a plan in place. So how do you suppose I'm inclined to cope? Well, Saturday I had a full-blown breakdown, crying in front of my kids and screaming at God "ENOUGH, ALREADY!!!" And did you notice Cub had a deal on their E.L. Fudge cookies last week???
It's hard. I have NOT been as bad as I would have been pre-WLS, and for that I'm thankful. But damn...
So if any of you are so inclined, and have a prayer to spare,
I'd be very grateful.
Imperfect does not = unsuccessful
Darla,
If I was with you I would give you a really BIG HUG, but since I'm not, I hope this cyber one will make you feel a little better
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers that things will get better for you. I know it's hard to see your love ones suffer and feel helpless but know that just you being there for them is worth more than what you give yourself credit for.
Best of Luck to you!
If I was with you I would give you a really BIG HUG, but since I'm not, I hope this cyber one will make you feel a little better
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers that things will get better for you. I know it's hard to see your love ones suffer and feel helpless but know that just you being there for them is worth more than what you give yourself credit for.
Best of Luck to you!
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind-Dr. Seuss 
Hey my Darla Lou, I am so sorry you have to go through so much crap. My gosh girl. Miss Bailey will hopefully come to her senses
and dump his stupid ass. I hope your hubby gets better, Maybe you guys need a new hospital and or Drs........................ I don't know what the heck to say except I love you sweetie and I am here for you
. You have always been here for me good and bad and now it's my turn............I hope things get better all the way around for you, YOU deserve to be happy
and dump his stupid ass. I hope your hubby gets better, Maybe you guys need a new hospital and or Drs........................ I don't know what the heck to say except I love you sweetie and I am here for you. You have always been here for me good and bad and now it's my turn............I hope things get better all the way around for you, YOU deserve to be happy
Maybe you've heard this saying in church - when we're at our weakest, we're really at our strongest because we allow God to take control.
You are not a hypocrite for supporting others even though you are struggling. If we all waited until we were right or perfect, no one would ever help anyone! Your advice and support is still a very good and helpful thing, even when you're not feeling great or maybe not following your own advice. You have helped a lot of people, and that matters!
You have an incredible amount of stress right now, and you need to be gentle with yourself, just like you are to others. Your world and family will not collapse if you lock yourself in the bathroom to have a bubble bath for 2 hours. Or you take a long drive to clear your head. Or a day with a treasured friend just talking. If you don't take care of you first, you can't be there for the rest of your family.
You're doing the right thing being in counseling with your husband. Marriage is not for the faint of heart! EVERY couple struggles in some way, and if they say they don't, I don't believe them! All you can do is your best, and sometimes just hanging in there is your best.
Your daughter is beautiful - you have posted pictures of her. Unfortunately our society doesn't support beauty that isn't a size 2. Can you get her into counseling so she sees how this guy is manipulating her? Would she be open to it?
I know it doesn't seem like it, but this is a season, and will surely pass because you're doing something about it. You're taking action to make changes, which a lot of people don't. I will pray for you and your family. This tough time could actually be a good thing in the end - you may have a stronger marriage and a healthier daughter. It's hard to see that, but there is hope!Please take care of and be kind to yourself!
You are not a hypocrite for supporting others even though you are struggling. If we all waited until we were right or perfect, no one would ever help anyone! Your advice and support is still a very good and helpful thing, even when you're not feeling great or maybe not following your own advice. You have helped a lot of people, and that matters!
You have an incredible amount of stress right now, and you need to be gentle with yourself, just like you are to others. Your world and family will not collapse if you lock yourself in the bathroom to have a bubble bath for 2 hours. Or you take a long drive to clear your head. Or a day with a treasured friend just talking. If you don't take care of you first, you can't be there for the rest of your family.
You're doing the right thing being in counseling with your husband. Marriage is not for the faint of heart! EVERY couple struggles in some way, and if they say they don't, I don't believe them! All you can do is your best, and sometimes just hanging in there is your best.
Your daughter is beautiful - you have posted pictures of her. Unfortunately our society doesn't support beauty that isn't a size 2. Can you get her into counseling so she sees how this guy is manipulating her? Would she be open to it?
I know it doesn't seem like it, but this is a season, and will surely pass because you're doing something about it. You're taking action to make changes, which a lot of people don't. I will pray for you and your family. This tough time could actually be a good thing in the end - you may have a stronger marriage and a healthier daughter. It's hard to see that, but there is hope!Please take care of and be kind to yourself!
Thank you for your thoughtful post, Renee (AND EVERYONE!!)
My daughter has seen a couple of counselors over the past year, but both were on the older side - and rather than listen to her and have dialog with her, they tended to tell her what to do. She's 17. That's not real effective, least of all when I try. I have found another counselor, a younger woman who specializes in adolescent depression, anxiety and relationship issues. Sounds ideal, but she doesn't see her until next week. Bailey bottomed out 3 weeks ago, and we ended up in the ER, where she was put on Zoloft - scary, but thankfully, it seems to be helping.
I do have a very strong faith in God - so much so, I have a tattoo of the word faith with a little frog hanging onto it - for Fully Rely On God. Sometimes, thats seems like all I'm capable of.
I'll get through this. I'm not sure how, and I don't know what the outcome will be, but I'm a strong woman, I have my children to keep me focused, and for now, that has to be enough.
My daughter has seen a couple of counselors over the past year, but both were on the older side - and rather than listen to her and have dialog with her, they tended to tell her what to do. She's 17. That's not real effective, least of all when I try. I have found another counselor, a younger woman who specializes in adolescent depression, anxiety and relationship issues. Sounds ideal, but she doesn't see her until next week. Bailey bottomed out 3 weeks ago, and we ended up in the ER, where she was put on Zoloft - scary, but thankfully, it seems to be helping.
I do have a very strong faith in God - so much so, I have a tattoo of the word faith with a little frog hanging onto it - for Fully Rely On God. Sometimes, thats seems like all I'm capable of.
I'll get through this. I'm not sure how, and I don't know what the outcome will be, but I'm a strong woman, I have my children to keep me focused, and for now, that has to be enough.
Imperfect does not = unsuccessful
I am sooo new here that I hesitate replying many times. I hope things get better. I have found meditation, deep breathing, yoga really helps me stay calm and focused. It is hard on stressful days! I can't wait until I am fit enough to go for a run when I am stressed. ;)
Have you tried a second opinion for your husband? If he isn't getting answers with that hospital/doctor, maybe a second opinion would help.
Have you tried a second opinion for your husband? If he isn't getting answers with that hospital/doctor, maybe a second opinion would help.
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