To Do or Not To Do...
Hello!
I have been thinking about weight loss surgery for quite some time now, but never seriously until the last month or so. Suddenly a light bulb went off in me and I realized that it was time for me to quit saying "I'm young, I have no right to have the surgery. I'll lose it on my own." By saying this, I have just been cheating myself out of the opportunity for a better life. The last few years I have experienced more and more problems caused by my expanding waist line. From depression to issues with my hip, back and feet to sleep apnea to fatty liver...they keep piling on and on. I know that this surgery could be a second chance for me.
My issue is that I am 31 years old and do not have any children yet. My husband and I have been married a year and trying to conceive for about a month. Although I realize these things take time, I have also come to the realization that we may not be able to conceive or have a healthy pregnancy at my weight. And boy is my clock ticking!
If I were to start the process now (don't worry, I'm already signed up for the intro session in two weeks at St. Paul Surgeons) through my current health insurance I would have to complete 6 months of doctor supervised dietinig and visits in order to even be considered. I'm assuming I wouldn't even be able to proceed with the other things (psych eval, etc****il I finished this. This would put my surgery out until after my 32nd birthday. The minimum "recovery" before they want you to get pregnant is 12 months but they prefer 18 months. Which puts me at 33 by the time I conceive my first child (IF I get pregnant right away) and almost 34 by the time I have the child. We want three kids.
Some of my concerns/questions are:
1- Is it better to continue to try to get pregnant at this point and tuck the idea of surgery away for when my kids are a little older?
2- Wouldn't I gain a bunch of the weight back during pregnancy?
3- Are there any surgeons who specifically work with women wanting to get pregnant?
4- Has anyone else been in this situation?
I'd truly appreciate any help you can give me! Thanks so much!
Shannon
I have been thinking about weight loss surgery for quite some time now, but never seriously until the last month or so. Suddenly a light bulb went off in me and I realized that it was time for me to quit saying "I'm young, I have no right to have the surgery. I'll lose it on my own." By saying this, I have just been cheating myself out of the opportunity for a better life. The last few years I have experienced more and more problems caused by my expanding waist line. From depression to issues with my hip, back and feet to sleep apnea to fatty liver...they keep piling on and on. I know that this surgery could be a second chance for me.
My issue is that I am 31 years old and do not have any children yet. My husband and I have been married a year and trying to conceive for about a month. Although I realize these things take time, I have also come to the realization that we may not be able to conceive or have a healthy pregnancy at my weight. And boy is my clock ticking!
If I were to start the process now (don't worry, I'm already signed up for the intro session in two weeks at St. Paul Surgeons) through my current health insurance I would have to complete 6 months of doctor supervised dietinig and visits in order to even be considered. I'm assuming I wouldn't even be able to proceed with the other things (psych eval, etc****il I finished this. This would put my surgery out until after my 32nd birthday. The minimum "recovery" before they want you to get pregnant is 12 months but they prefer 18 months. Which puts me at 33 by the time I conceive my first child (IF I get pregnant right away) and almost 34 by the time I have the child. We want three kids.
Some of my concerns/questions are:
1- Is it better to continue to try to get pregnant at this point and tuck the idea of surgery away for when my kids are a little older?
2- Wouldn't I gain a bunch of the weight back during pregnancy?
3- Are there any surgeons who specifically work with women wanting to get pregnant?
4- Has anyone else been in this situation?
I'd truly appreciate any help you can give me! Thanks so much!
Shannon
Hello! I think a lot of your questions will get answered at the info meeting you're going to attend. A lot of women get pregnant, by accident or on purpose, very soon after surgery because their health improves so rapidly. It's really up to your physician and you what's best for you.
I'm 4 years out, and have had a really positive experience from a medical standpoint. I had no complications or anything. But, I've suffered a lot emotionally and mentally. There is really no preparation for the mental and emotional stuff that happens after surgery. So much changes so rapidly that it's just incredibly difficult.
My advice to anyone seeking surgery is to figure out why you got morbidly obese because that's not going to go away. Whatever it was that got us to the point of morbid obesity doesn't disappear, and it can cause a lot of problems after surgery. In my case, I went from overeating before surgery, to shopping to drinking alcohol after surgery. I was 40 years old when I had surgery, and was a non-drinker for the most part, so my party days were LONG behind me. It was fun to shop in small sizes, and everything I tried on looked great, so shopping was a blast, but I totally overdid it. Then suddenly all I wanted to do was drink. Never in a million years would I have expected that! It became a real problem, and I now attend AA meetings because of it.
This is just my story, and everyone has their own journey, but since you're wanting a family, and wanting surgery, I think it would be a huge help for you to figure out exactly what got you morbidly obese. It isn't a lack of discipline or being lazy like many people try to shame us into believing! I wish you the very best in your journey! Keep coming back to the boards with questions and to get support & let everyone know how you're doing!
I'm 4 years out, and have had a really positive experience from a medical standpoint. I had no complications or anything. But, I've suffered a lot emotionally and mentally. There is really no preparation for the mental and emotional stuff that happens after surgery. So much changes so rapidly that it's just incredibly difficult.
My advice to anyone seeking surgery is to figure out why you got morbidly obese because that's not going to go away. Whatever it was that got us to the point of morbid obesity doesn't disappear, and it can cause a lot of problems after surgery. In my case, I went from overeating before surgery, to shopping to drinking alcohol after surgery. I was 40 years old when I had surgery, and was a non-drinker for the most part, so my party days were LONG behind me. It was fun to shop in small sizes, and everything I tried on looked great, so shopping was a blast, but I totally overdid it. Then suddenly all I wanted to do was drink. Never in a million years would I have expected that! It became a real problem, and I now attend AA meetings because of it.
This is just my story, and everyone has their own journey, but since you're wanting a family, and wanting surgery, I think it would be a huge help for you to figure out exactly what got you morbidly obese. It isn't a lack of discipline or being lazy like many people try to shame us into believing! I wish you the very best in your journey! Keep coming back to the boards with questions and to get support & let everyone know how you're doing!
Renee,
There is so much truth and advice in what you are saying. I am just 7 months out and I am more concerned about my behavior than the weight number on the scale. It was a wonderful ride down, but now that the stomach has healed, I am faced with making GOOD decisions
I knew going in that I would still have to fight my weight via better choices, I elected to go ahead with the surgery because I knew I needed to fight this battle at a more healthy weight.
There is so much truth and advice in what you are saying. I am just 7 months out and I am more concerned about my behavior than the weight number on the scale. It was a wonderful ride down, but now that the stomach has healed, I am faced with making GOOD decisions
I knew going in that I would still have to fight my weight via better choices, I elected to go ahead with the surgery because I knew I needed to fight this battle at a more healthy weight.
Hi Shannon
I was 29 when I had my first child, my husband and I had been married for almost 10 years at that point. I was slightly overweight when I got pg and had a horrible pregnancy. I gained over 50lbs and ended up on bed rest for 3 months. I had RNY on June 30 of this year and have already lost almost 50lbs. My husband and I have talked to my surgeon about TTC another baby and we need to wait for 1 year. I'm looking foward to hopefully having a pregnancy with less complications and one I don't end up on bed rest. Alot of my issues was due to my size and the amount of weight I gained.
There is a pregnancy forum on this board as well you might want to search out for some more anwsers.
Gwen
I was 29 when I had my first child, my husband and I had been married for almost 10 years at that point. I was slightly overweight when I got pg and had a horrible pregnancy. I gained over 50lbs and ended up on bed rest for 3 months. I had RNY on June 30 of this year and have already lost almost 50lbs. My husband and I have talked to my surgeon about TTC another baby and we need to wait for 1 year. I'm looking foward to hopefully having a pregnancy with less complications and one I don't end up on bed rest. Alot of my issues was due to my size and the amount of weight I gained.
There is a pregnancy forum on this board as well you might want to search out for some more anwsers.
Gwen
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