Is it bad I want to keep it private?
I have always been very outgoing and have very few secrets or things that people don't know about me. But, for some reason I have and want to keep my WLS Private.
I have always in the past made no attempt to hide that I was on a diet or that I was looking to loose weight, but now for some reason I have only told my wife and parents about WLS.
I even told my wife not to tell anyone.
Is this normal for men?
I have 3 people (woman) at my job that have had WLS and they talk to everyone that wants to listen and I think it is great, but for a very outgoing person like myself I want to keep it private - I don't get it.
I'm so exited to have started this and I guess maybe when I get a "thumbs up" from my insurance company or even a surgery date I will be more willing to share with the world.
I have always in the past made no attempt to hide that I was on a diet or that I was looking to loose weight, but now for some reason I have only told my wife and parents about WLS.
I even told my wife not to tell anyone.
Is this normal for men?
I have 3 people (woman) at my job that have had WLS and they talk to everyone that wants to listen and I think it is great, but for a very outgoing person like myself I want to keep it private - I don't get it.
I'm so exited to have started this and I guess maybe when I get a "thumbs up" from my insurance company or even a surgery date I will be more willing to share with the world.
I told my best friend and her response was "Oh no. You should just do it yourself without the surgery". My husband isn't being all that supportive either, and said I couldn't have the surgery without insurance paying for it. My insurance won't pay for the VSG, so I'm doing it private pay and financing it. I haven't told him yet and I might not until after the fact because of the way he is being.
I think people think it's the 'easy way out'. I figure when people start noticing that I'm dropping weight, I'll tell them then. I think it's ok to keep it to yourself (and your support group on OH)!
I think people think it's the 'easy way out'. I figure when people start noticing that I'm dropping weight, I'll tell them then. I think it's ok to keep it to yourself (and your support group on OH)!
HW/SW/CW/GW 232/220/170/140
There are a number of things in life that are not anybody else's "business." People may notice you bought something, doesn't mean they need to know the price paid. If you have a problem with one of your children, you can discuss it or not.
I was a bit put off by the thought of bragging up front, and then failing or regaining, so I wasn't too big on advertising. I was somewhat open at work because my time there was ending, my kids started posting my pictures on Facebook, I put a small blurb on the prayer chain when my surgery was coming up, and it seemed that a lot of people knew what my surgery was.
So it isn't a perfect world, but you don't have to say anything other than diet and exercise when questioned.
Did I meet you Tuesday at the Wildwood Lodge meeting?
I was a bit put off by the thought of bragging up front, and then failing or regaining, so I wasn't too big on advertising. I was somewhat open at work because my time there was ending, my kids started posting my pictures on Facebook, I put a small blurb on the prayer chain when my surgery was coming up, and it seemed that a lot of people knew what my surgery was.
So it isn't a perfect world, but you don't have to say anything other than diet and exercise when questioned.
Did I meet you Tuesday at the Wildwood Lodge meeting?
55# Lost pre Surgery on 2/15/10, 100+ # lost post surgery
(deactivated member)
on 8/19/10 12:14 am - Clear Lake, MN
on 8/19/10 12:14 am - Clear Lake, MN
No one knew in my family till I was a few months out, and that was only because my Aunt's friend was at a WLS support group I went to, So I felt, better to hear it from me then her.....I didn't even tell my parents till then.....I just didn't want anyone to jeopardize what I wanted.....I knew my family would not be for it, so why bother telling them.....
You will know when you want to tell people, don't feel guilty for not telling....It's really nobodys business......
Kelly
You will know when you want to tell people, don't feel guilty for not telling....It's really nobodys business......
Kelly
I can't speak to whether or not keeping your WLS private is a normal thing for men, in particular, so forgive me if I speak as a female 
I wasn't big on sharing my pursuit of WLS, either. The first time I let it slip to a SIL, WOW - did it bite me in the butt! Same reply as many others got - "You don't want to do that! You just need to try harder! Eat less, get some exercise..."
NO, REALLY???
IS THAT HOW IT WORKS???? 
I'm not an idiot, and I'm pretty sure you aren't either. No one should ever go into WLS without first educating themselves thoroughly. People who haven't had a weight issue, or haven't stared it in the face as we all have, just aren't likely to get it.
My hubby was very supportive from the get-go, attending the info session with me and all, and I told a handful of my closest friends - but I waited until I was in the middle of my 10-day pre-op liquid diet before I told my mother or my brother (once I shared with them all the research I had done, and all the hoops I had to jump through to be approved, they were totally behind me!). I also found a great deal of support and encouragement - not to mention some of the BEST FRIENDS EVER - here, and at coffee get-togethers.
Once my weight loss started becoming noticable, I STILL wasn't really comfortable owning up to having had WLS, but eventually, I reached a point where I was just so damn happy, I didn't care WHO knew!
Like your female co-workers, it has become a part of who I now am, and I'm no longer afraid to share it. I don't put it out there, but I don't hide it, either. My guess is, you'll reach a similar point.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!
I wasn't big on sharing my pursuit of WLS, either. The first time I let it slip to a SIL, WOW - did it bite me in the butt! Same reply as many others got - "You don't want to do that! You just need to try harder! Eat less, get some exercise..."
NO, REALLY???
IS THAT HOW IT WORKS???? I'm not an idiot, and I'm pretty sure you aren't either. No one should ever go into WLS without first educating themselves thoroughly. People who haven't had a weight issue, or haven't stared it in the face as we all have, just aren't likely to get it.
My hubby was very supportive from the get-go, attending the info session with me and all, and I told a handful of my closest friends - but I waited until I was in the middle of my 10-day pre-op liquid diet before I told my mother or my brother (once I shared with them all the research I had done, and all the hoops I had to jump through to be approved, they were totally behind me!). I also found a great deal of support and encouragement - not to mention some of the BEST FRIENDS EVER - here, and at coffee get-togethers.
Once my weight loss started becoming noticable, I STILL wasn't really comfortable owning up to having had WLS, but eventually, I reached a point where I was just so damn happy, I didn't care WHO knew!
Like your female co-workers, it has become a part of who I now am, and I'm no longer afraid to share it. I don't put it out there, but I don't hide it, either. My guess is, you'll reach a similar point.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!
Imperfect does not = unsuccessful
bkrancher
on 8/21/10 9:38 am, edited 8/21/10 9:38 am
on 8/21/10 9:38 am, edited 8/21/10 9:38 am
I am in an interesting place with this one. On the one hand, I don't share with more than "Protein and excercise" but if it is someone who is obese and struggling , I tell them so they know about the option and success I have had. But it is definitely a very personal issue and choice. Linda
There is a reason that I don't have any pictures on here. I had WLS more than 4 years ago. My husband and children were the only people that know. My PCP is still asounded by that.
Two close friends were told later because of the food limitations (girls weekend). No one at work, none of my sblings were ever told and none have asked. We aren't that close but see each other every few months. I have been up and down so many times in my adult life they just keep waiting for th UP to happen again.
I am still glad that I didn't tell. I work in healthcare, WLS is not highly regarded so I did not want anyone at work to know. I also worked with a few people who had the surgery and had to hear every gory detail- I did not want to do that.
Work was easy- I was on a liquid diet for several weeks, then too busy to go to lunch if anyone asked. Soon enough you will be able to eat and no one needs to know.
The most important lesson that I learned. No one pays attention at large gatherings to how much YOU are eating. Put some stuff on your plate and mingle around, when no one is looking ditch it. Not ONE person has ever tried to coax me to eat more. Honestly, if you want to keep surgery to yourself it is not that hard. I took two weeks vacation that included the Memorial Day holiday and went back to work without any explantation.
Good luck!!
Two close friends were told later because of the food limitations (girls weekend). No one at work, none of my sblings were ever told and none have asked. We aren't that close but see each other every few months. I have been up and down so many times in my adult life they just keep waiting for th UP to happen again.
I am still glad that I didn't tell. I work in healthcare, WLS is not highly regarded so I did not want anyone at work to know. I also worked with a few people who had the surgery and had to hear every gory detail- I did not want to do that.
Work was easy- I was on a liquid diet for several weeks, then too busy to go to lunch if anyone asked. Soon enough you will be able to eat and no one needs to know.
The most important lesson that I learned. No one pays attention at large gatherings to how much YOU are eating. Put some stuff on your plate and mingle around, when no one is looking ditch it. Not ONE person has ever tried to coax me to eat more. Honestly, if you want to keep surgery to yourself it is not that hard. I took two weeks vacation that included the Memorial Day holiday and went back to work without any explantation.
Good luck!!
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