OT: Need some advice

 Need some advice on how to handle a situation at work. I work for a wonderful company and love my job. I was the 13^th employee hired (last Nov) and the 2^nd female employee at the time. Well in the past few months we have really grown which is exciting we now have about 30 employees (11 female). It happens that 7 out of the 11 females work in 1 department.   This department does a lot of fun things together as a group; their manager takes them out for spa afternoons or takes them out to lunch.  The manager does all out of her own pocket which is very nice of her. Well whenever they do these things together even though I know it’s a department outing I feel really left out. Today I was almost in tears when they left for lunch together. I feel they all are bonding and I’m being left out. 

My department doesn’t really do anything fun since there is just 2 of us and I really don’t want to hang out with my co-worker he’s cool and all but not fun like hanging out with the girls.  I’m not sure how the 3 other women feel about this since they work on other teams and are kind of quiet (maybe because they don’t get invited to places either so they’re not making connections). How do I get over feeling like I’m being left out?

Are you friendly with any of these other females that are going out with their supervisor?
If so, you could always say "I'd love to join you ladies the next time you go to lunch." or something like that.

It sucks that your department doesn't do anything fun like that.

That is a tough one, Kathy.  I feel for you, there.   I am new where I work, and it has been difficult to find like-minded and fun people, so I've tried to cherish my alone time to be online on breaks or to just dig in to my work.  It can be isolating. 

I learned long ago not to depend on work as a social outlet, instead my chosen friends and my family are the ones I enjoy spending time with.  That said, it is still tough not to have close connections at work.  There probably isn't a lot you can do about it.  If you really are asking for advice, I'd give you 2 pieces:
 1. Don't personalize their time together.  It is not about YOU - it's about bonding with their work team.
 2.  Just keep doing what you need to do to take care of yourself and be a fantastic person.  Others will be drawn to you.  And soon their manager may tire of spending all her time and money on them and stop the frequent outings. 
Furthermore, in my nearly 40 years in the workforce,  I've seen things like this.  It can't last.  I have to say teams of women (and probably some men, although they don't bond like we do and don't share "drama" as much) usually have some falling outs and issues and it won't be all peaches and cream soon... 

What great advice Mary! 

Kathy - it sucks being on the outside looking in, huh?  My company just moved to a new building and the engineering department was short on offices, so I got put in marketing.  Of course the marketing team is always going off to do events and marches to their own drummer.  I have to admit that I feel left out sometimes. 

I have to agree with Mary - I learned the hard way not to look for social outlets at work.  It has a tendency to come back and bite you.  I have made "work friends" with a few people but it doesn't extend beyond the building or even for lunches very often.  I got way burned at my last job trusting people too much and never really got over it - it was one of the big reasons why I left after 10 years there.

I work with almost all men, so I understand what you mean about your coworker being nice, but you aren't going to hang out with him.  In a lot of ways that is a good thing becuase the nasty drama doesn't happen - groups of women - watch out.  I agree that it can't last for them and you will witness some drama at some point.

Keep your chin up!
Amelia

Inviting yourself along wouldn't really be appropriate if the department manager is footing the bill for these outings.

It's hard to watch other people enjoying themselves and feel you're not a part of it.  But often times, those relationships aren't exactly as we see them.  They are a relatively young "team" - they're enjoying the newness of it all.  As others have said, it's likely only a matter of time before there is drama. 

Be kind and friendly to everyone there, but cultivate your more meaningful relationships outside of work.  Rather than "covet" what you think others have, find what is special for YOU, and nurture THAT - instead of the jealous feelings you currently have for this team.  There's a fairly good chance that - if not yet, eventually some of those women will be looking at you and wishing THEY had a more professional distance, removed from the vacuum they're creating right now.

Thanks everyone great advice!  You know reading your comments made me realize at my old job (where I had worked since I was 19 years old) is where I formed all my really close adult friendships and met my best friends.  Everyday I got to see and socialize with my friends so I think that is why I'm so use to having such a work\friend connection.  Maybe I'm kind of missing that and when I see this group of women go out it just reminds me.  Discovering that those are the feelings I was having has already made me feel better about the whole situation.  Maybe i need to spend some more of my free time with my actual friends so I can still feel like I'm socializing.   ALSO it was kind of funny after I wrote this I found out the owner of the company is giving all the female employees gift cards and and part of the afternoon off next week to go to Spalon Montage (the men are getting some other gift) so it turns out I'll get to have fun time with the girls after all!   Thanks again everyone!