Pissed Off
I am really mad. 
I have done it all. Dietician visits, stress-echocardiograms, physicals, psychological profiles, and everything else the clinic asked me to do. Right down to taking extra visits with my therapist outside of my marriage counseling time just to have time for me. NOW...the Psychologist is declining me based on the fact that I havent been through a complete FORMAL dbt group!
Ive been doing this for 7 MONTHS! It was her idea for me to take an extra hour a week for myslef with the therapist instead! Why is she blocking my now that Im done with everything else and ready to go? Everyone else on the team says Im ready!
Why cant they let me get on with this and stop stressing me out? They want me to have "coping skills" she ays...Id say Ive got them Im all stressed out and Im NOT eating! Im crying but I dont have my hand in a bag of pretzels now do I? Id say thats a pretty good indication that I HAVE those skills!
Anyone have input for me? Im really upset right now that this one person is acting like she knows me well enough to tell me what I can or cant do based on 1 hour in a room with me and I hate that BIG TIME!
I have done it all. Dietician visits, stress-echocardiograms, physicals, psychological profiles, and everything else the clinic asked me to do. Right down to taking extra visits with my therapist outside of my marriage counseling time just to have time for me. NOW...the Psychologist is declining me based on the fact that I havent been through a complete FORMAL dbt group!
Ive been doing this for 7 MONTHS! It was her idea for me to take an extra hour a week for myslef with the therapist instead! Why is she blocking my now that Im done with everything else and ready to go? Everyone else on the team says Im ready!
Why cant they let me get on with this and stop stressing me out? They want me to have "coping skills" she ays...Id say Ive got them Im all stressed out and Im NOT eating! Im crying but I dont have my hand in a bag of pretzels now do I? Id say thats a pretty good indication that I HAVE those skills!
Anyone have input for me? Im really upset right now that this one person is acting like she knows me well enough to tell me what I can or cant do based on 1 hour in a room with me and I hate that BIG TIME!
What is a "dbt" group?
My suggestion would be to have a conference call with your surgeon, therapist, and your self. Figure out EXACTLY what else this lady needs to complete her recommendation and get it in writing!
And a last resort would be to ditch her and find a new therapist that will complete the paperwork.
And if all else fails, as frustrating as it may be, sometimes there is a bigger picture that we cannot see when in the throes of wanting WLS but in the end, we're thankful for the hurdle(s) in the long run.
Have the pity party today but move on from it tomorrow. Don't let this break you!
My suggestion would be to have a conference call with your surgeon, therapist, and your self. Figure out EXACTLY what else this lady needs to complete her recommendation and get it in writing!
And a last resort would be to ditch her and find a new therapist that will complete the paperwork.
And if all else fails, as frustrating as it may be, sometimes there is a bigger picture that we cannot see when in the throes of wanting WLS but in the end, we're thankful for the hurdle(s) in the long run.
Have the pity party today but move on from it tomorrow. Don't let this break you!
I also got a double dose of sessions from my psychologist. She had some concerns about my ultimate resolve. I was finally approved but advised to go to group sessions after surgery.
In ways she is correct. At four months out, I have been successful, but boy have the old habits started creep back. Jump in for the long haul, start practicing the post surgery habits now. You will start losing, and help your surgeon do their best job on the operating table. You will also have your mind more in tune with your physical body (which is an issue for most of us.)
In ways she is correct. At four months out, I have been successful, but boy have the old habits started creep back. Jump in for the long haul, start practicing the post surgery habits now. You will start losing, and help your surgeon do their best job on the operating table. You will also have your mind more in tune with your physical body (which is an issue for most of us.)
I did a formal DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy--for those who don't know what it is check out wikipedia en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
I would talk to your psychologist and see why she is insisting on it. Maybe you can address the concerns she has with examples of how you deal with things. But believe me, if you don't have the skills necessary to be successful before surgery, you won't magically get them after surgery either. I would really open your mind to see why the psychologist thinks you need it. Maybe she's just being a pain in the butt but maybe she has some valid points. I totally get wanting to have it done sooner rather than later and having any more delay is very upsetting. But you get one chance to get this right.
Better to get your tools in place before the surgery and wait another 6 months than have the surgery and regain. Losing the weight is more than not eating when you are stressed. I've found that life is a lot harder on this side of my weight loss than it was before, because I don't have old excuses to rely on, I often feel more vulnerable and truly I'm forced to engage more in the world than I had to when I was obese. There are addiction transfer issues to think of as well. I know I tried to rely on buying things for awhile to make myself feel better before I finally figured out what I was doing. I faltered but I was able to right myself and figure out what I was doing because of my DBT course.
I truly encourage you to do the DBT group before surgery. Without the skills I learned in that course, I'd truly be struggling most days.
Anna
I would talk to your psychologist and see why she is insisting on it. Maybe you can address the concerns she has with examples of how you deal with things. But believe me, if you don't have the skills necessary to be successful before surgery, you won't magically get them after surgery either. I would really open your mind to see why the psychologist thinks you need it. Maybe she's just being a pain in the butt but maybe she has some valid points. I totally get wanting to have it done sooner rather than later and having any more delay is very upsetting. But you get one chance to get this right.
Better to get your tools in place before the surgery and wait another 6 months than have the surgery and regain. Losing the weight is more than not eating when you are stressed. I've found that life is a lot harder on this side of my weight loss than it was before, because I don't have old excuses to rely on, I often feel more vulnerable and truly I'm forced to engage more in the world than I had to when I was obese. There are addiction transfer issues to think of as well. I know I tried to rely on buying things for awhile to make myself feel better before I finally figured out what I was doing. I faltered but I was able to right myself and figure out what I was doing because of my DBT course.
I truly encourage you to do the DBT group before surgery. Without the skills I learned in that course, I'd truly be struggling most days.
Anna
I've thought a LOT about this. Having been abused as a child and young woman, I really don't care much for therapy as a general rule because inside my head is the only safe haven I have left under my own control. I did agree with extra therapy with my own therapist (not DBT) and she said that was ok but there was apparently some miscommunication between the psychologist and I back in January and now thats no longer the case.
I can't just ditch her without ditching PNC as a whole. She is insisting now that I go through DBT before submitting me. GRRR!
So, everything else is done, I have been approved by the dieticians, my psychiatrist, my therapist, the nurse clinician, and have the support of my family and its just this one thing that I have to get done.
Why couldn't she have communcated with me rather than waiting 6 months to tell me she was going to screw me right at the end? She claims it isn't JUST her but I haven't heard anyone else speak up and point at anyone else yet.
I can't just ditch her without ditching PNC as a whole. She is insisting now that I go through DBT before submitting me. GRRR!
So, everything else is done, I have been approved by the dieticians, my psychiatrist, my therapist, the nurse clinician, and have the support of my family and its just this one thing that I have to get done.
Why couldn't she have communcated with me rather than waiting 6 months to tell me she was going to screw me right at the end? She claims it isn't JUST her but I haven't heard anyone else speak up and point at anyone else yet.
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