OT Finding yourself

I don't know if anyone else is going through this or not but thought I'd start a thread on it and see......The boards have been kind of quite anyways so why not......

After 2 1/2 years out, I'm still trying to find myself.......Who am I? What do I want out of life?

It's really frustrating.......On one hand I feel like this person and on the other hand I feel like that person.....

Are these questions you ask yourself?

Kelly

Yep!  The day I turned 30 was the day that changed my life! 

It was the day I had FINALLY figured out some of the answers and that things had to change!  I wanted MORE from my life!

It was the day I decided I had had ENOUGH of being unhealthy and started searching for information on WLS.  I also decided that day I would go back to school to become a nurse.

That was ALMOST 3 years ago now, surgery done and now I am healthy, just finished school...I am pretty damn happy...But I STILL have ****ty days, we all do! 

You just have to search inside Kelly, you will find her!!  For me it was just FINALLY being honest with myself..... Call me if you want to talk or do coffee:)



Crystal

Crystal,

So good to hear from you.....It's been way too long.....St. Cloud coffee's kind of fell off the earth....

I'm glad you figured stuff out.....

For me since surgery everything has changed, I've changed.....And although I'm healthy and for the most part happy, I lost myself since surgery.....It's weird because, I knew who I was before and what I wanted, etc.....And now? I'm lost......

Part of my problem is money, not having it....I'd really like a job in the Bariatric field, helping people, etc. but we don't have the money for me to go to school....And another part of me wants to join a gym or hire someone to come to my home once in awhile, but AGAIN NO MONEY.....GRRRR.....Now that I'm at a weight that I'm okay with, although I'd still like to lose some, there is so much I want to do......I have all these desires, things I want to do, but no money......

I bet I could write down 10 things I want to do, but no money to do them.....I know that is half my problem......Part of me feels like I'm going through a Mid-life crisis.....I don't know.....I'm lost.....

Kelly

Hi Kelly....I am in the same boat as you. I am not entirely happy. I have had a rough last year and am working hard on getting my life back in order.

I too have money issues. I only have my income. I am only able to work part time so money is really tight. I wish I could take a trip or afford a vacation but that just isn't in the cards for me. I would like nothing more then to be able to go shop for new clothes....no money for that either. Many things I want....no funds!!!!

I am trying to stay positive....it isn't always easy. I hope I find some peace and also find myself once again.

Love ya....hugs....connie d

Connie,

Can't we just win the lottery? There is so much I would do for others, like my MARS I volunteer for with the rescue puppies, etc.....

I keep looking to God for guidance......Thank God for Marty, my marriage is back on track, I thank God he puts up with me.......

I just get these feelings every so often of wanting to do more......And I want to take care of "Me" too.....But theres never any money for that....I need a motivator, a personal trainer.....Someone there to push me......Marty has told me he likes me at the weight I am now, he said before I was too boney.....SO he could really care less for me too lose more weight, uhhhh....So there's no help there......

It's just one of those days......A Calgon take me away day.....

Thanks for the support, I'm sorry your going through stuff too, but glad I'm not the only one on this crazy ass ride......

Love you, and am looking forward to our lunch next week.....Kel

I became "retired" a week before the surgery. I found it pretty sweet to have the time to exercise and get healthy. Since the initial weight loss I have had energy to carry me through the day, not come home from work and crash. I have had some lifestyle changes (such as starting a garden for the first time.)
I try to stay busy so I don'thave to think about who am I issues, yet. Yep, I don't have a clue as to what is next. At  60 and no 4 year degree; with 40 years of job experience, I don't even qualify to be a lawnmower mechanic without more schooling.