I am mad.............

Okay I need a MAJOR swift kick in the ASS...............

I can not quit eating junk and I am gaining weight.  I am up almost 14 pounds and I am disgusted with myself, and the more I get mad at myself the more I eat.  What en the heck is wrong with me?  Anytime something goes wrong in my life or I get stressed I turn to food.  I know it's a comfort thing but how en the heck do I get outta that.  Today I ate a double cheese burger from mcdonalds, I only had 1 child for lunch and we were out and about and we stopped there, Ya dumb move I know,  I could of ordered something different but I didn't.  It did however take me a little over an hour to eat but I ate it.  UGGGGGG....... So then I get mad at myself after the fact and eat some M&M's I had stashed away UGGGG so now I am totally pissed and decided to clean my house but now Ithink it is catching up with my because I feel icky........When en the heck will I learn?????  What a dummy I am........I think to myself........SARSHA knock it off you have this amazing gift use it and don't screw it up, and then WHAM SARSHA does................UGGGGG  I don't know if this is a pitty trip or what But I need help.  I am in counciling so I hope maybe that will help............ Do any of you struggle??????  I am a little over 2 years out and this is so hard, I had it way to easy and now I am gonna pay for it..................... So please let the butt kickins start I need it.............

Marsha,

Hugs......I won't kick you.......I think you just need to give yourself a break and try to just eat healthy snacks and protein.....I still have good days and bad days......I think the more we beat ourselves up the more we eat.....I've let up on myself and started eating healthy snacks and the weight has started to come off.....

I find weight is harder to lose now more than befroe surgery......I find that if I want to lose, I have to exercise and eat only 1 meal, and the other 2 meals must be protein shakes......That's me though......

As for snacking, I always have yogurt on hand, jerky, and fruit.......I very rarely eat snacks now, other than popcorn.......

I have found the "Chike" protein powder is very good, I love the Banana and the Orange cream.....

Hang in there.....Our honeymoon is over.....Now comes the real work.....

Kelly

I am only 9 weeks  out and I am finding it true to my first thoughts about WLS. IT IS A DIET AND EXERCISE PROGRAM! Itdoesn't cure years of bad habits. I ran across this tidbit before surgery and have it as my  scrolling screen savevr"  

"There is no known operation which can completely counteract the adverse effects of destructive eating behavior.

   I do better when I am busy and away from my dest , but we all have our stressors and triggers.



YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS.

Sarsha, you and I are in parallel universes.  I had wanted to come on here and complain about my bad behaviour too.  I'm not exercising, I'm eating junk ... well, for me it is junk...and not getting my fluids in.  I'm not looking towards the healthy life I was enjoying. 

Let's face it, we don't want to quit yet.  We want to get "spanked" cuz it makes sense to be getting the feedback for doing wrong, but if we really wanted to quit...we would.

So the question is here, what are we really wanting.  What is it that we are struggling with that is "eating" us?  In a weird twisted way the "spanking' we get here only enforces us to say ya, we did it, aren't we bad kids, I'll take the licking...but we really don't change.

I am writing down ...journaling...what I eat.  All of it.  I'm asking you, if we do that can we see our own faults better and realize where are choices are going awry?  Make a note of why you are being "devil may care" about your choice.

The truth is, I think I have stopped loving me.  I have stopped appreciating my gift.  I have rather been abusing it.

I hope this helps.  I'm on your side.  You can do this and be proud of yourself.  I can too.

Are you going to support groups?  Journaling your food?  Start with baby steps, like eat a regular cheeseburger next time rather than a double.  There is nothing wrong with one regular cheeseburger and even a couple of fries - you can have some of the "junk" you want but need to reign it back a bit.  Maybe work more on this in counseling - if you perservered for a whole hour to eat a double cheeseburger, it sounds like there is more going on.  I personally don't have that kind of attention span LOL.  My attitude, and it isn't really the "party line" is that I have to live my life.  Deprivation was my old way - now I try to do things in moderation, but I compensate with exercise. You have to find balance and a lifestyle you can sustain without feeling like you are being deprived.

good luck!

Amelia

I'm glad you posted this today....I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning saying what the HELL did I do to myself. I have had a very stressful life over the past year and it has all caught up with me. I eat whatever I want and it is starting to show BIG TIME!!
I too am in counseling and she suggested over-eaters anonymous since I can't seem to control what is going in, I am constantly thinking about what I can put in my mouth next and it's driving me crazy. I am not sure I want to join but we'll see....I too need a swift kick in the arse!!

Line up for your arse kickings!

First off, we're all human.  We didn't get obese by being "perfect" in our relationship with food - it was messed up!  And to rewind a broken record, they operated on our stomachs, not our brains.  So we have to take the time, and put forth the effort, to figure out WHY we sometimes sabotage ourselves.  It creates a negative spiral - we eat something bad because we're in a bad state of mind.  Then we get pissed at ourselves for being stupid, and eat some more.  It's a short trip back up the BMI scale. 

The HARD part is breaking free from that nasty cycle. 

Find yourself reaching for a handful of Oreos?  STOP.  Tell yourself  "Self, you didn't go through WLS for the short term, you did this for the rest of your life.  To be healthy for your (fill in the blank).  So you don't get to go back to bad habits unless you want to go back to being F'ing FAT."

I'm not saying it's easy, nor am I implying that I'm different than anyone else.  But if we can accept that we don't NEED that momentary/instant gratification, we might just find ourselves with a BIGGER dose of happy!  The satisfaction of being STRONGER than the craving, of KNOWING that we made a GOOD choice for ourselves - then that negative spiral finds itself with a POSITIVE blip!   A breath of life back towards HONORING our tool, the knowlege that we CAN lose any weight we may have gained back!  That incredible  feeling we all embraced while we were in the honeymoon period of losing weight relatively easily.  We can maintain the loss, and it feels GOOD to know WE have the ability to control what we do, and therefore HOW WE FEEL.

Man, do I sound like a preacher, or what??  But dammit, I NEED THIS TOO. If anyone out there can claim the haven't had one moment of regret over a less than stellar food choice since their WLS, well, I've got some oceanfront property in Arizona I'd like to show you...

MAKE THE DECISION TO DO THE RIGHT THING - TURN THE NEGATIVE SPIRAL INTO A POSITIVE SPIN!!!

I love you Darla Lou,,,,,,,,,,

Well said!    Darla, I think you missed your calling....

(nah... I just enjoy kicking arses every now & then    )