"Wow, you were huge!"

  The hard part about being in a foreign country with a low obesity rate is that there is obviously no WLS support over here. I try to explain things to people the best I can, but after a while it gets annoying.

I made a friend who is overall a very sweet and respectful person... but he did something that just kind of made me shrug. 

After a night of dancing, we headed to a place that sold Turkish gyros. I got one and started picking out the lamb and eating it. Conversation began: 

FRIEND: Why are you eating it like that?
ME: I don't eat wraps or bread much.
FRIEND: Why?
ME: Just not so good for me. (I told him that I am watching my weight)
FRIEND: Oh.

I ate 1/3rd of it and tossed the rest in the garbage. He looks around and asks what happened to my gyro. I told him I threw it out. I was done. Then I was offered a Pepsi, and I said "No thanks." He said, "You don't need to lose any weight! You look fine!" I explained that I started out at a large size a few years ago and have lost 54kg. 

Then the moment comes... I see him thinking... thinking... then he looks at me, spreads his arms far apart and says, "Wow! You were huge! I mean, you must have been like this big!"

Yea.... to a normal person, that would just be another comment maybe... but I thought that was a bit... mindless. I guess it's part of the WLS experience... but it's been interesting trying to explain why I do what I do. 

I'm sorry your new friend expressed himself in that way!  I'd guess that some of the meaning was lost in translation.  It is interesting to see how other cultures respond to obesity.  It must be hard to be in a place where there are so few obese people, and where you don't have a support network that gets the whole obesity/weight loss thing.  It sounds like you didn't really take his comment to heart, but I'm sure it would be nice to have people who understand what you're going through.   I hope you'll be able to find the support you need online, or wherever you can.

Keep up the good work - you look beautiful!  Best wishes to you!

Ya I am sure it it hard.  But the way I look at it is "Do you have to explain YOUR situation to EVERYONE?"  It does get tiring to have to repeat everything all the time.  See Now I wouldn't.  I would just say I am not hungry or I don't like this.  Until I develop a comfort zone with that person.  Just maybe an opinion, then if you care to share it at a later moment then thats fine. 

Yup, that's why I never share my numbers with people who haven't got any clue about WLS.  'Cuz of their mental calculators.  I just don't need the humiliation of people doing the math, then watching their eyes bug out.

You have done fabulous, don't let people who don't get it bring you down!

 Yep, people can always be expected to say stupid things!  That is exactly why I have not been very open about my surgery.  I don't want to have to defend myself or my decision.  I'm sure he didn't mean to be rude, but it happens.............. a lot!

I too don't tell anyone but close friends how much I've lost, I hate see them doing the math.  I just shrug and say, "gees, I'm not sure"  It works for me.  Otherwise I get too mad.

So try not to hit him!  

I have a coworker who comments about my success to me (privately in coaching sessions) and she always does the back pedal thing "not that you weren't beautiful before" thing.  It makes me laugh because I know what she means by it and I'm done being offended by it.  I was morbidly obese and I knew it.  I keep a photo of myself from December 2008 when I was 280 pounds on my computer tower at my desk.

I haven't really met any new people - people who didn't know me before WLS - yet or recently so I don't have that experience yet.  People do say some stupid, thoughtless things though.