when you are dealing with stuff...

I'm up late tonight because I kept crying and wetting my CPAP mask.  Funny how it strikes you when you are mourning a loved one's passing.  Just kinda out of the blue.  I said my prayers and thanked God for my dear friend and all the funny times we had.  I still cried.  I journaled.  I still cried.

So now I'm up and writing this out there to you guys...why?  My way of getting attention??  I really don't know.  It's late.

All I know is that if I stay up I will get hungry. I am preop.  I have wrapped my head around the upcoming surgery and life after WLS, but now that I've been applying the food/fitness rules from PNC it is ever more real. 

blah blah blah...ok, so what do you all do when you are up, and you are dealing with "stuff", and then your tummy is on the hunger scale going, ya...feed me.

Oysh.  I'm learning  please be patient with me.

It's hard to lose someone and you should cry and mourn, it will lead to happiness and cherishing the memories.  There should be no guilt for shedding some tears for a dear friend or loved one.  Tears of joy, I guess.

You'll also mourn food, much the same way you mourn the lose of a friend.  Friends can comfort you and sometimes, without our friends at hand, we knew food can comfort as well.  But it's not our friend when it's used in that way.  I still do the same thing...turn to food for comfort and it makes me angry....as I eat it.  It's crazy.  One thing that helped me early on, and this is something the pyschologist at PNC had me do....write down 100 things to do instead of eat when you feel emotional or bored hunger....then turn to your list when you find yourself up late and wanting to eat.  Here's a start for your list....go over to Edi's and do her laundry.  HEY....I'm just trying to help!!

And about that comment about "My way of getting attention"...if you don't share your ups and downs with us on the board....we can't offer you our support. 

Hugs  

Well, good news.

I was up writing that at 1:30 am...don't know why it posts the crazy times it does...

When I was through posting I played card games online, before I knew it I was tired.  I purposely did not act impulsively to eat.  And you know what??? I didn't eat a dang thing!!!!  Woo Hoo!!!

Well said, Edi!  And I totally agree.  Someone once told me about mourning those we love:  "Our tears honor them".  I have loved that concept.

Hey Mar....it just gets so messy when you are trying to sleep, you have the cpap on, it's vibrating from the wetness, and your nose is all stuffy so you can't breathe!  Ha Ha!!!

Seriously, she was a wonderful lady, friend, sister, "mom".  It's only been since February, but I thought I would be able to put it in its place by now.  But I like what you said Mary.  It's true, so true.

Thank you for that!!

Oh Teresa! HUGS!

Good for you for resisting and good for you for turning to your OH friends to share your feelings! Also, journaling is such a great outlet and something to turn page and reflect upon down the road when you need insight and encouragement!

I too am pre-op and my emotions are TOTALLY WHACKED right now... and yes, it makes me want to EAT LIKE A MAD WOMEN, but I know that will make me gain back all I've lost to even qualify for the WLS... I can't even imagine how the emotions will be after surgery in a few weeks!

STAY STRONG! We're right there with you!

Shannon