Strength, Courage and Fortitude

Strength, Courage and Fortitude

 

Strength.  Courage . Fortitude.  All of us here, whether you are a pre-op, newbie, or a veteran of this battle against obesity, have some measure of those admirable traits by virtue of the fact that you have taken action, any action, against that awful foe.  Yet there are days when those traits seem ephemeral, so fleeting, so not there for us when we are struggling, that we slide toward despair or try to comfort ourselves by reverting to some of our old habits.  It is at those times, when we feel vulnerable, or perhaps even embarrassed about our own behavior, that we most need to reach both within ourselves and out to our fellow travelers on this journey to find our way again.  Our collective combination of strength, courage and fortitude is truly awe-inspiring.  Lean on others when you are weak, even if that weakness lasts for months or years.  Let others lean on you when you are strong, even if that strength lasts for only a few moments at a time.  For, in the end, we can be each others’ hope and solace.

 

I know these things to be true, yet in recent months I have, for the most part, failed to avail myself of that support to the degree I should have.  I can and will do better with that in the months ahead.  What about you?  Are you seeking out the support you need?

 

RP

I don't recall ever responding to any of your posts, but just yesterday I looked thru the last few months of your postings and printed them off,  you have been an inspiration at times to me, you have helped me look much deeper into my own life and learn new things about myself. You have also helped my husband understand this journey of mine that I am on. So I truly do not agree w/ your last paragraph of your posting, you have been a tremendous support to me w/out you even knowing about it directly! I love your postings and look forward to looking if you have posted something. I actually think you should write a book, you have a wonderful way w/ words that I have only seen in books before!!! 

Linda:

Thank you for your kind words.  Most of what I write is either a message of hope for myself or an admonishment to do better.  I am so glad that whatever I have written has helped someone else to the point where reading your reply literally brought tears of joy to my eyes.  Thank you for that.

RP

Yes I am.  I jumped into proverbial pool of WLS support with both feet when I decided to do this to myself (so to speak), and I refuse to stop swimming - or treading water, as the day dictates.

Most of us did a lot of research before actually having WLS - or at least we should have.  And somewhere in the midst of all that research was a little factoid to the effect of - 'those who actively participate in post-operative support groups have far more success in losing weight and keeping it off than those who don't.' (paraphrased). 

So, I made a commitment to do just that.  PNC's support group, OH, coffee get togethers - they all keep this gift I was given (WLS) a high priority in my life.  Would it be lovely to be able to live my life like I've always been a "normal" size??   SURE!  But then again...  I'd miss all the friends I've made along the way.  And I'd be too afraid that I'd become complacent and start slipping back up the scale.

I have seen a fair number of people get to a weight where they feel successful and sassy, then disappear.  Somewhere down the road, some of them find themselves struggling, gaining, feeling like they're failing, and they dip their toes back into the support pool.  That's a GOOD thing. 

But a BETTER thing is to not trot off to la-la land feeling 10 feet tall and bullet proof in the first place!  This is a lifelong deal.

That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it!

Good lord, somebody take away my coffee....

Darla:

You are the svelte embodiment of what wonders there are available via post-operative support groups.  You inspire, you hug, you care.  I am not alone in being in awe of you and your wisdom.

RP

AMEN....I need to get back into my support groups and coffee groups again. I sure felt a lot better about myself and enjoyed the support of others as well as offering support myself.

Thanks for the great post RP.....as always you are on top of your game!!!

Hugs.....connie d

Connie:

You have endured way more than your share of challenges this past year.  For someone like you, I think a little support will go a long way.  Take care!

RP

I have neither been good at seeking the support I need, nor returning the support I've recieved by this site and those I used to see at coffee.  My eating habits are ok, my body found the range it likes, and I don't have much trouble maintaining it.  It's not my goal weight, but it's still a healthy weight (and consider the excess skin I have to add lbs).  I really am pretty good at taking my supplements, get a little thrown when out of town or some such thing.  But, diet coke has made a big re-entry into my daily routine, and then I don't drink enough water, and my body tells me... I know it, but I crave the diet coke.  when I really get too heavy on the dt. coke, my tummy tells me, and I back off and re-up my water intake, but...  Also, I'm smoking full time again.  I hate that!  But, at the same time, I love my smokes.  That's just stupid, I know.  I was one year, completely smoke free, and I felt good, and had so much more money!  Alcohol.  Not my friend, but I like it a little too much.  For a while, last winter, I was drinking 5-7 days a week, til I passed out.  Much better now, 1-2 times a week, and not usually til I pass out, but it is a cloud over my head.  Physically, it's easier to drink when I'm bored, lonely, or unhappy, than it is to eat, but it takes a toll on my body and mind.  Classic case of addiction transfer.  there are my dirty little secrets.
Christi

Christi:

I can only encourage you to seek out the support that you need.  We all have our challenges and weaknesses....we are human after all.  So, please consider re-joining your old support group(s) and coffee gatherings.  I am certain that people there will be pleased to see you again.

Take care,

RP

Your post has come at an interesting time for me, as I have been struggling and need to get back on track and refocus. It is hard. I have support, but not enough. Unfortunately there isn't much for support groups or coffee groups down in my area. I am trying though and I appreciate your post! I try getting on OH often as I get so much motivation and support here, but also need it in person, does that make sense?