Will I EVER???

Today is my husband's & my 19th wedding anniversary.  We were chatting on facebook earlier, and he told me he thinks I'm so thin and beautiful he can't stop looking at me.

I know that's very sweet.  I should just smile and say thank you, but no - I had to tell him I'll NEVER BE THIN.  Fortunately, he spends enough time with me and my WLS friends that he understands - WE don't see it.  He tried to tell me that I need to see myself for what I am, not what I WAS.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to.  I mean, using words like "thin" and/or "skinny" to describe ME???  It just doesn't compute.  I know I've lost enough weight to create a 2nd Darla (scary thought!).  But I was 45 when I had my RNY, and I think I just lived too long as a fat chick to ever be able to see myself as anything but.

I know this subject comes up all the time.  But to me, I'm still ginormous. Not FAT, but big.  CERTAINLY not "skinny".  I seriously wonder....   will I ever feel otherwise?

I'll check back in another 5 years.  See if I feel any different then.

Darla...you are THIN....you look just wonderful.....
believe Rich ...he is right!!!

I don't think our heads ever catch up!!

Happy 19th Anniversary!!

Love and hugs.....connie d

I don't know.....I still see myself as big.  Myhubby also always says how good I look and he notices when other men look at me and I just don't see it.  We went to the casino the other night and he said that there were guys checking me out.  WTF..... I just don't see it....... Let me know if/when you ever feel it........ I do have to say tho DARLA LOU that you look AWESOME I love the new picture you're smaller than the last time I seen you......WAY TO GO GIRLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love ya,
Marsh

Darla:

First of all, congratulations on 19 years!!  Thin is a relative term.  You are much thinner than you used to be.  You are not as thin as those skeletons they call super-models.  Thank God for that!

Two Darlas would be a great blessing for us all, by the way.  I.Am.Not. Kidding!  Maybe you spent all those years as a bigger person in order to squeeze in all the goodness that you now have in a smaller body.

I do see myself as different than I used to be...not as a normal person who is thinner, but someone who is physically thinner, but emotionally in a transition zone between being the fat guy and something else.  Some days I still see the fat guy in my eyes or in my demeanor and I know that I may always be somewhere in that transition zone, having to be vigilant about what I eat, getting exercise, taking my supplements, getting in enough protein and water.....and believing in myself.

I didn't know you before you had weight loss surgery, but the Darla I know now is an absolutely terrific, normal looking person who should consider a second career in comedy.

RP

Sounds like we both have very caring, very loving and understanding husbands. We're very lucky!

Maybe if we all kicked your nowhere-to-be-found booty, then you'd get the idea? Just teasin'!

Well, Rich is right - you are a tall, slender woman. It is hard to wrap our warped brains around the concept, but my thought is that at some point, we have to accept our new body and physique so that we can quit living in the past. It's a work in progress, that brain of our's. But, when you are ready Darla, I believe you will find that peace and you'll see your physical self as other's do.

And I love that your DH is checking you out all the time. I know my DH appreciates my "when he met me" shape that's back, and quite honestly, I'm good with that.

Maybe it's the concept of opposites--or rather extremes. Two sides of the same coin. Fat is not a good word to me, and neither is thin. I had a hard time seeing my own MO and do not see what others are  seeing now. I KNOW I am smaller than I have been in years, and I know I Iook so much healthier, BUT "THIN" I think not, and actually do not want to be considered that.

Call be beautifull, sexy, svelt, shapely, healthy, athletic...you get the picture. Thin to me, is the other side of fat.

Now THERE'S something to chew on - Thin is the other side of FAT.  


FAT < - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - >  THIN

Methinks THIS    ----------^   is where I want to be!

ME thinks that's exactly where you are! (Re: your last post on this thread)

You may not be a size 4 or 6, but for heaven's sake girl YOU ARE IN SIZE 14.  When in God's green earth was the last time you ever were in a 14???? I'm guessing maybe at age 8???  So You're right - you're not "thin" in the sense of what magazines and other media say is "thin" but quite frankly 98% of the world's population doesn't fit that bill either.  When I was in Germany 10 years ago, there was a sign in the Bath & Body store there - it said something to the effect of there only being 8 woman in the world that fit the Super Model standards.  So no, according to those standards you're not thin.  But like Rick said, you are MUCH THINNER than you were 165+ lbs ago.  I mean, that's like losing Skitch and then some!

And BTW, a wise woman once told me (and continues to remind me):  WE CAN'T ALL BE WRONG!!!

I LOVE you Darla, I love you for exactly who you are each and every day. You are one of the kindest, most caring and genuine people in the world.  I mean, who else can I go to to get an ass kicking and hug in the very same moment!! 

I pray that all of us can have just one brief moment of seeing ourselves as others see us. What a truly cool gift that would be!

"When in God's green earth was the last time you ever were in a 14???? I'm guessing maybe at age 8???"

Okay, Tracy, that's just plain mean.






True, but mean.