Beyond the Sedentary
On my walks over the last several months I have spent a lot of time ruminating on the topic of identifying what things in my life led me to obesity so that I might be able to minimize the impact of those things going forward. Genetics, personality type, lifestyle choices, life cir****tances and mental health all played a role in that outcome for me. I know that I will have to be vigilant about pretty much everything in order to avoid a return trip down obesity lane. It seems daunting, to be honest, even though I have been working on most of those things since before surgery.
The stereotypical American way of life, my way of life in the past, wasn’t healthy for who I am or for many of you, either. Much has been written about the evolution of the sedentary American lifestyles over the past 50 years or so, but I think the problem goes beyond that one particular fact. As the majority of people moved away from farms and small towns for the promise of an easier suburban life in and around the big city, the bond of common struggle and experiences was lost. We rush around to work apart from our spouses and families with little time and undivided attention left at the end of hectic days to even bond over a meal for 30 minutes. The emotional connection and basic human trust that develops between people who strive for common goals is not as strong as it used to be and has resulted in people acting in their own self-interest more often. It makes for a chaotic, conflict-ridden, unsatisfying existence for the most sensitive among us.
While it is not universally true, I think that the vast majority of the WLS people I know are inordinately caring, gentle souls who have a far greater than average need for strong emotional connections between themselves and others. I have come to realize that I am one of those people. If I am to continue to thrive as a thinner person, I need to re-constitute my life in a way that allows for much more time with the people that I love. Commuting 42 miles one way to work in a cube farm isn’t going to cut it for me emotionally, no matter how much money I might make. So, I am working in fits and starts to change that for myself. Perhaps I will have less income, but more peace, more satisfaction, and a stronger bond to those who matter the most to me. It sounds like a better balance for me, for how I am as a person….if I can make it happen.
What do you think? Am I generalizing too much about WLS folks to rationalize the choices I want to make or is there some element of truth in my way of thinking?
RP
I have to agree that we as Americans have a very sedentary lifestyle and that we are moving away from family and moving towards self interest. That is one reason why my family has a sit down at the table dinner every night we are home which is usually 6 nights a week. Which is much better than most families.
I don't know if I can agree 100% with your idea that most people who have had WLS inordinately caring and gentle. I do know some people who had the surgery for completely selfish reasons instead of for a healthier life style (how they got through the system-I have no clue) however, I do know some people who have had WLS and are caring and gentle. These people are the ultimate care givers and put others before themselves constantly. So I guess I would say that I partially agree (sorry for the long drawn out ramble to your question!
)Either way, know that you are not alone in your journey and that you have a whole community here to support you. I too know the struggle of working for enjoyment or working for the almighty dollar. Currently I have to earn that dollar so I guess my enjoyment is farther off on that aspect but I do have other things in my life that bring me great joy (my daughter is a HUGE source of entertainment for me) and that will have to do for now.
on 9/29/09 11:38 am - Saint Paul, MN
WLS was not anything I approached without serious consideration, either. I have been researching it for about 4 years and prior to my actual surgery, I spent a year in very serious contemplation. (Which was as much spiritual as anything else.)
I completely agree with your statements regarding lack of quality time and the increase of selfishness. Like you, I am also one of the "highly sensitive people." I know that I am one that has that greater need for strong emotional connections and intimacy, but I cannot speak, of course for all WLS people.
As far as the feelings of unease you have about "commuting 42 miles one way to work in a cube farm" not cutting it for you emotionally, I would say you are evolving and becoming a holistic being, becoming a higher form of yourself...closer to self-actualization. Namaste!
