Help! I Can't Seem To Find My A** With Both Hands!

Help!  I Can’t Seem To Find My A** With Both Hands.

I am now 15 months out from RNY surgery and I am having trouble finding my ass with both hands.  Some might say “he can’t seem to find his ass with both hands" as a way of suggesting that I am clueless, which in and of itself is true about a lot of things, sadly enough.  In this case, however, I am talking about my actual ass….or the lack thereof.  With all the walking and bike riding I have done there is some muscle definition there, but (heh, heh) there seems to be little there…there.  While I lost 22 inches from my waist, it is the diminutive dimensions of my new derriere that shock me most.  It seems that I traded a double (OK triple) chin for a wrinkled double ass.  Oh well, I guess that I should be happy that it doesn’t look like a Sharpei or Mickey Rooney.

It’s not that I miss my old ass, the one with the capacity to frighten young and old alike if it had been seen by anyone but me during the light of day…….it just seems so inconsequential now.  Other than what it emits from time to time, no one is afraid of it, no one has to step out of its way, no one has to wonder if even one of my formerly massive cheeks would fit into a bushel basket.  Besides its curious appearance, the only trouble I really have with it is when I sit on a hard chair or surface for too long and the butt nub gets irritated.  The obvious cure for that problem is to just keep moving…a man in search of his own ass.

RP