Who did you tell?

Hello everyone. I am new to OH, and I really have enjoyed reading all of your posts and learning so much about WLS. I am not approved yet, but hopefully that will come any day now.

Since nothing is approved or official yet, I've been pretty quiet about the fact that I was even considering gastric bypass surgery with the exception of my husband.

My question is, how open have all of you been about your decision to have WLS? Did you tell your employer that you were having surgery or just say you were taking a few weeks vacation? When people noticed your weight loss did you tell them how you did it?

I'll be VERY happy to have surgery and would not be embarrassed at all, but I am mostly worried with regard to work. I work in a small office - only 14 employees, and I wonder if my boss won't be a little upset because it will likely increase our insurance rates. Although I suppose when renewal comes around she'd find out eventually.

The other side of it I guess is fear that it won't work and why bother telling people in case I stay fat.

For those of you who do tell people about the surgery, for the most part are people pretty chill about it? Any negative reactions?

Thanks for your feedback. I've been looking into WLS for almost a year and now that it seems to actually be coming along its all I can think about and I have a hundred questions going through my head. This forum has been a great resource and I love the idea of meeting local people who have gone through it. I'll be seeing you at coffee one of these days : )

Hi there,

I didnt want ANYONE to know!  I told my mom and thats it.  I went thru the 4 psych appts and realized that I do need to let some people know, for support.  I work at the fastest growing Fitness Center chain in the country and I heard a comment about the "people who take the easy way out and have surgery" and I was so upset.  I didnt say anything.  Someone did speak up and say "are you kidding!!!, That surgery is way harder than just working out.  They are willing to change thier whole life to be healthy".

I think its all in how you feel about it.  My boss knows, she is my friend.  My parents and my brother.  Oh, and the Korean woman who does my nails...lol.  I wont tell anyone else.  My ex husband knows I am having surgery, but that is it...and I told him I was having part of my bowel removed due to my colitis.

Just do what feels right to you! 

Cat

I told a few of my best friends, mostly because I wanted support and was too excited not to tell someone.   My dad helped finance a self-pay in Mexico, but the other rellies weren't told til after the fact.  No need to hear lectures or scare stories for me!  Anyone else?  Not their business.

Best of luck to you. . . .you'll do great!

Tuna

First of all, congratulations on your decision.

Second, I told everyone. I wasn't ashamed of my decision. And it's so totally noticeable, that people I didn't tell, ask how I lost all my weight. If they gave my any grief about it being the easy way out or "you cheated", I set them straight! People need to be educated and quite frankly, most of the negative one's were from people who could benefit from WLS themselves but are scared. Just my experience, though.

You will tell who you want to tell. It is not a requirement to tell your employer, but it may be helpful to your direct supervisor to know what's going on. Things will change for you after surgery. Your eating may need to be more frequent given the small portions, etc. and you may need the flexibility to eat at your desk or in your lunch area more often. You may have an adverse reaction to something and end up running for the bathroom. Just give it some thought.

I hope you'll find a coffee group in your area that you can attend before your surgery. They are quite helpful and will certainly make you feel you're not alone on the journey more than just participation on this board.

Also, check out the Swapkins event coming up in October - Elena posted about it earlier. A great chance to meet a lot of people from here and you can even gain some great clothing!

I thought I had this one all figured out before surgery, I told my husband and kids,my dad and step mom,  my boss and 3 close friends, that's it. My mom doesn't know, my brother and his wife don't know, all my in laws. And I thought I would be ok w/ them not knowing, BUT what I am finding out now just due to my honest nature, I am having a really hard time lying to people when they ask what have I been doing to lose all this weight , especially my family!  And now I also feel like its too late to tell them the truth!! I wish now I would have at least told my brother and his wife. Really think it thru, I don't think you will stay fat if you follow the "rules"!! Good luck to you!! It's a crazy ride but all well worth it!!!!!!

Hi there welcome to the boards!!

I only told a few family members in the beginning. As far as work I told my boss, my assistant manager, and that was it. I really did not want any negative energy about this decision from others. It was not that I was ashamed of the decision I made it was that I was in a good place with my decision I did not want the negative thoughts to ruin that. I have enough trouble with some family members.

I really think its up to you in who you tell and for what reasons. I would suggest telling your boss though. I had some issues after surgery and it helped that my boss knew what and why there were times that I needed to be out of the office.

Best wishes to you and your journey.

I haven't had surgery yet but if it comes up in conversation I will tell anyone.  It's great to get the input from others and frankly the only person who's opinion really mattered to me was my husbands.  I didn't care what others thought about it.  Having said that, I have not had any negative reactions...to my face that is.  I really believe it's a personal preference and if you don't want to tell anyone that's your business.   I figured I'd rather tell people now than to explain it after when I'm shedding the pounds.  Good luck!

Hi there.  I am scheduled for Lapband surgery on Sept. 23rd and am not telling anyone I work with for similar reasons.  I feel like a bit of a target since I am an "older" employee and vulnerable to be a likely candidate to be let go for company downsizing.  I have scheduled 10 days off for "vacation" and hope/pray to God to be able to return to work as planned without complications.  

I have thought about what I will say as the weight starts to come off:  "I have been working on it".........true, right?  This pre-op liquid diet is about killing me (day 4 now) and I truly AM working on it.  This is HARD and no magic bullet, as the surgeon said at a recent info session.  I can attest to the fact that this is already true.  I know the band will be a tool for me to lose weight but I will have to do the work........and it will be a huge change for me.

I also worry, "What if I don't succeed with this?"  It is a normal fear I guess.  It is a highly personal decision and commitment and I am  going to do my best but I expect frustrations. 

Seems like there is a lot of positive talk out there about the band.  I have 2 friends who are acting as "mentors" to me who have had the surgery and are successful for more than 2 years now.  They are both of town, so we e-mail and call.  I am glad to know they are there cheering me on!

Good luck to you too.......I can honestly say I am not excited about this, I am walking forward in faith and fear............hoping, believing, praying that THIS (and I) will work!   I say practice your monologue for your co-worker conversations...........I am!

Luck and love to you......................

I started the research process & appointment making in February 2009. I didn't tell anyone until late March.  I'm pretyt open with my coworkers and family.  Everyone (except one coworker that was gone for 3 months) knew I had surgery.  Most said "oh, I know someone that did that.." and either have the version where the person did really well or did well but then gained all the weight back OR the person they know throws up all the time.  After some education they usually understand that it's different for everyone and many unsuccessful may not be following the "rules/guidelines" set forth for them by their surgeon.