Body Image Issues

For me, I accepted myself at 350 pounds and was comfortable meeting the men I did because I knew they liked big beautiful woman.  Now, I have a hard time because I'm worried about how men see me.  Yeah, I look good in clothes, but what will happen when we undress and they see the Sharpay puppies from the skin folds.  It causes me all sorts of anxiety.  I'm slowly coming to terms with "If he doesn't like me for who I am , but how I look", then he's not worthy to be my mate.  I want someone who likes me for me, and before I can go there....I have to like me for me.

There's a twenty year difference (or more) in our ages, so we're coming from different views, but I think the message is clearly....we have to become accepting of ourselves for the unique gift of the body God gave us post surgery.  It didn't take a couple months or years to gain the weight, we lost it fast, now give your mind a couple years to catch up. 

Love yourself.

Body image issues don't go away just cause we lose weight.  I'm just now beginning to see that I'm not a "fat girl" anymore, but I can't help but hate my deflated spare tire that hangs from belly button to pubis, and can't help but focus on that when trying on pants or just standing in front of the mirror naked.  I don't feel like I'm "small," though a lot of people have been telling me that I have a twisted self-image and that I am.  I can't help but argue back that I have this nasty gut thing that makes me wear pants bigger than I should be, and that I have to wear shirts too big cause mediums are so frickin short.  I don't really care about my inner thighs, or my bat-wings.  I'm not even too upset about my breasts (though they could sure use some work).  I hate my tummy, and would give just about anything for a tummy tuck.  If I wear pants that don't hang off my ass, I look like I have moose knuckles in my stomach region, gross!  My boyfriend wants me to wear smaller, cuter panties (and I try with boy shorts and lacey stuff), but so many panties don't fit right, and frankly, my tummy hanging below the leg holes grosses me out.  My body image issues have improved over the last year, I don't ever expect to have a bikini body, don't even care about that.  Just want this gut gone.  Yes, I feel great about the weight I've lost, and all the things I can do better, and feel great that my health is better and that my future health is likely to be better, but body image is a real issue.