Letting Go of Negative Emotions (long)

Letting Go of Negative Emotions

In the process of facing up to my various demons I have come to realize that I need to be able to let go of the negative emotions I am carrying around with regard to other people if I truly want my relationships with those people to change.  By letting go, I don’t mean to suggest that the behavior of someone who has treated me poorly should just be excused.  Instead, what I mean is that I need to let go of the lingering resentment, bitterness, anger, or hurt feelings that are eating at me.  I felt them…now I need to deal with them.  Those emotions don’t change anything or make me feel better, so I want them out of me.

In the past I would try to numb or comfort myself with food in the hope that I could spare myself from experiencing the full effect of a negative emotion.  As I lost weight and could no longer bury my emotions with food, I was shocked to see that many of those old negative emotions were still there, just waiting to rear their ugly heads.  Some of those emotions have been rooting around within me for years, occupying my thoughts, chipping away at my self-esteem in some cases, and not allowing me to move on.  By holding on to those negative emotions, I have had a convenient excuse for not nurturing some relationships that require greater effort on my part if they are to improve.  By the same token, I have also avoided cutting off relationships that only seem to bring those negative emotions out in me.

Recognizing the need to let go of those negative emotions is all well and good, but the actual letting go part is proving to be a real challenge, most likely because I have had little practice in dealing effectively with my emotions over the years.  Certainly forgiveness is a part of it, both of other people who, on balance, are still people I want in my life and of myself because I realize that I am sometimes complicit in reaching a point in a given relationship when those negative emotions come out.  I also need to be able to admit that enough is enough with some people and walk away from those relationships.

So, today finds me sorting and sifting, identifying the negative emotions that I have harbored in various relationships and trying to figure out how to move on, where to focus my emotional energy to nurture some relationships and where to push away from others.  Although it is barely discernable, I feel like I am finally moving, finally pushing aside some of the emotional clutter that I have allowed to build up and limit my enjoyment of life.

If you have any advice on how to let go of negative emotions or feelings, I would really like to hear it so that I can put it to good use and keep my positive emotional momentum going.

RP